Do you know of any parents that enable their child's bad habits?

Question

I watch a 17 month old boy and from the first time I fed him I realized he is very greedy. When I give him a bowl with a snack that he could pick up and eat himself like cookies, crackers, etc. I noticed that he had to have BOTH hands full in order to eat without having a cow. If he only had one of whatever he was eating he would cry and throw a fit or if he hand both hands full and you took everything out except for one he would throw a fit. Then on the days when his mother would come a little early to pick him up and I'd be giving him his snack she would let him have handfuls of whatever just so he wouldn't cry. I stopped that habit while he was in my care months ago, but the way I see it she is enabling his greediness. This morning we were taking his jacket off and I got the arm in which he had a cookie in it, took the cookie out of his hand for less than 2 seconds and before I could put it back 2 seconds later he screamed and cried and she immediately gave comforted him...

...and hugged him as if he was so distraught over a cookie that was taken out of his hand for 4 seconds. She says her husband says she babies their boy. Haha, really do you think :)

Do you know of people who enable their child's bad habits like she enables his greediness?

I have 2 kids of my own, 3 year old girl, 21 month old boy and 6 months pregnant with another girl. Not to mention 2 or 3 other kids I babysit part time. It might not be a problem in his mother's home because he gets what he wants whenever he wants it. But when a toddler has a fit in my home because he has to have 3 cookies in one hand and 2 in another, or when 10 minutes after he eats a meal consisting of 2 and a half waffles and 8oz of milk he throws a fit and falls to the floor in tears because I won't share MY meal with him it is a problem for me because I have to deal with his behavior. Anytime I walk into the kitchen he whines and cries because he thinks he's getting food and if he doesn't he gets mad. I know it could be a LOT worse, but the little boy is greedy.

Answer 1

I nannied for about 7 years, and i have to say i have yet to meet a parent that doesnt some how encourage some sort of bad behavior.

The worst was two boys, 3 and 4, who were soooo disgusting with their bodies it was insane. I mean, boys especially go through a 'curious' phase where they fondle themselves and talk about their butts and little wee wee's constantly. But as parents you tell them its inappropriate and to stop it.

These parents were HORRIBLE. They not only ignored the behavior, but they encouraged it, telling them their bodies were their own and that its normal to have different parts and peices. Yeah, thats true and all, but to let them strip their pants off and run around with their little wee wees slapping around, and run at people screaming "IAM GOING TO TOUCH YOU with my PENIS!" and to only laugh about it... COME ON. most kids dont even know thats what its called.

I'd tell them that they shouldnt mess with themselves, and to not do that its not nice. The parents seriously went ape and said i'd make the children self concious of their bodies and ashamed of themselves. Talk about asinine reasoning.

By 5 and 6 they were still doing it! Thats school age!

Ugh. iam all for the building of a childs confidence... but not at the expense of teaching them proper behavior and skills.

Answer 2

I agree with you it's funny because the kids in my care are pretty well behaved at my house and the miniute there parent walks in all hell breaks loose. Im not saying with all of them but I have a few. I have a similar situation with an 11 month old he is so spoiled and his mom thinks its cute what they don't realize is when they are a little older they won't think its cute and everyone else will feel the same and the they come running to you for advice. I think it should be mandated to become a parent you need to take cources on how to deal with your childs behavior. Some parents are clueless. I hate watching when some of the parents come in and there child is screaming and running out the door they don't even know what to do. I have one that gets so frazled when her daughter misbehaves I can't even amagine how she is at home. Sorry about the spelling

Answer 3

You dont have kids yet, do you? I dont see this as greediness...most kids this age do things with both hands at the same time..they have just really started to figure out how to manipulate things with their tiny hands..if you would step off your judgmental throne you would probably notice that the child does this while playing with blocks and puzzles too..it's all a part of strengthing his fine motor skills...also, once you are a parent you will figure out for yourself which battles are important to fight with your kids and which to just let go...dont sweat the small stuff, or you'll go insane...

LOL dont you all just love it when people who ask questions realize they need to be specific 30 minutes after posting a question? Obviously, this little guy is being rewarded w/food in his home and thinks he deserves it all the time or..food is being used as a way to keep him quiet and out of the way..both very sad circumstances for the child....if you put out a weekly newsletters for the parents whose kids you watch, add a bit about these issues...find an article you can print written by a doctor or child psychologist...this isnt the kids fault...you need to discuss this w/the parents...and please...ALL parents enable their kids in SOME instance...

Answer 4

I dont think this is greediness. Many children transfer all kinds of feelings onto food. This child is hungry for attention, love or something deeper than what you are seeing. Anyway, this family will have to work things out eventually and so will you once you have your own kids.

Answer 5

Everyone parents differently. Im wondering if you have any children of your own. Its always easy to judge someone elses parenting skills when you are on the outside looking in.
She could be doing much worse. She doesnt hurt the child or mistreats him. Yeah, she should be teaching him better manners, but this problem is small potatoes.

Answer 6

perhaps, in part, yet finally it is the new child's determination on the thanks to act. associates, college, common custom, and purely undeniable body chemistry all impact habit, yet finally, human beings, hence, your daughters, will do what they opt to do. study that lower back. Her associates and "outdoors impacts" might want to play a function, yet finally, YOUR DAUGHTER IS responsible for HER own habit. human beings searching responsible dad and mom fullyyt for poor habit of young ones are purely searching for the thanks to tutor they disapprove without appearing to be adversarial to the new child (concurrently searching beneficiant contained in the eyes of others and fending off warfare of words with the teen in question.) you probably did your suited to coach your daughters proper from incorrect, and the thanks to be reliable human beings. Your youngest daughter for sure chosen to take heed to and follow your understanding. Your older daughter did not. that is her failing. what's that previous saying about preferable a horse to water?

Answer 7

why do you feel this is your problem to judge? it isnt your child, respect the parents choices, and laugh to yourself knowing what hell they will have in the future. just dont judge them.