I'm a stay at home mom with a 2 year old and a 7 month old, both boys. How do I keep from going crazy?

Question

Is it ok for me to expect my husband to help out more after he gets home from 10 hours at work, or should I just let him relax?
I find myself going bonkers by the end of the day. HELP!!

Also, how do I stay on top of house work without feeling like I'm not spending enough time with my children?

Answer 1

I have the same problem. My husband works night and sleeps a lot of the morning so I do everything. First Look of an online support group. (yahoo has a lot of them). Then get your 2 year old to help clean. Both of my kids love to help clean. My oldest loves to use the Mr. Clean Magic Reach to mop the floor. It is the perfect size. E-mail me if you need an adult to talk to before you go crazy.

Answer 2

Wow, I hear you! How is this possible?

First, check into what's around in your community. Look on your city website and see: are there free playgroups? Are there community centres like Child Reach that have play areas for kids where you can meet with other parents? Can you leave the baby with a friend/family and take the older one swimming? What about McDonald's playland? The pet store? a local Children's Museum? Maybe your local health unit has a well baby clinic you can take the baby to, where you can meet up with other moms.

Winter time is really hard if you live in a cold climate - can't take the kids to the park, etc. The big key is to try to find activities where the kids can amuse themselves while you chat with grownups.

In terms of hubby, he should be looking forward to spending time with the kids and should at least do some of the kid stuff when he gets home. If you were working too, you'd have no other choice but to ante up! He may be tired, but he can lay on the floor and let the kids climb on him if that's all he can manage, and so on. Kids love that (esp. boys).

Hang in there and by all means, find an outlet you can enjoy with the kids. That should help save your sanity and get you through the winter!!!

Blessings.

Answer 3

You should get out during the day. Call some friends with children. Contact your local Parents as Teachers program at the school and you can do some of their activities. I met some really great moms at a local Parents as teacher event and formed our own playgroup and we are on our second year doing it. We met at each others house once a week or do a group activity at the local library or park or anything. I have four children two in school and two that are 3 and 21 months so I know how you are feeling. I have found that I am happier at the end of the day if I get to have some adult interaction at least once a week. Don't dump the kids on your husband as soon as he gets home. Let him unwind from the day just as you would want if you worked out of the home. After some relaxation ask him if he could take the boys out for a walk for some fresh air so you can have a few minutes for yourself. Or maybe bath time could be his job. But don't criticize him if he isn't;t doing it just like you would. If you do then he wont' want to help at all. Men like to help their wives, but they want to be appreciated too. Good luck and let me know how it goes.

Answer 4

Oh, do I ever feel your pain. I am a stay at home mom as well, and I have a 2 1/2 year old and an 11 month old. I want to pull my hair out by the time my husband gets home. I keep my sanity by giving him an hour to relax, and then he helps me get the kids dinner and in bed. Do not discount what you do all day long. It is just as much of a job as what he does, and sharing night time responsibilities is fair to both of you. Just don't expect him to just jump in and do it... you will probably have to ask. Don't feel guilty.

I don't know how often you get out of the house (or get the kids out without you!) but we recently have started having a "Dad Night" where he takes the kids and leaves the house. He takes them to McDonalds, or to the park, or to a friend's house... wherever he wants, but he gets them away from the house (without me!) for a couple of hours once every week or two. This has helped me immensely.

Good luck to you. Motherhood is the toughest job in the world!

Answer 5

You need adults in your life!!! I went through the same thing...put an ad in the paper saying you would like to find other stay at home mom's to start a playgroup...meet weekly and alternate whose house it's at...you can also plan mini field trips or simply all meet at a McDonald's playland or Chuck E Cheese...I joined a play group when my oldest was 4(he's now 13) and it's funny cuz we all still get together...we have 8 families (kids ages now range from 2 1/2 to freshmen in college...it's so fun!)that have gone camping together every year, have family Halloween and Christmas parties, etc for the last 9 years...granted now that most of our kids are in school all day, we dont meet on a weekly basis...but these women were a God-send...trading babysitting, or simply calling and yelling"omg, I'm having the day from hell.."Also. make sure in the evenings and weekends you take time to do things you enjoy...sneak away to a movie or simply bum around the mall while your hubby has the kids....Remember..."if Mama aint happy, nobody's happy" sounds cliche, but it's soo true...hang in there..

Answer 6

Wow I have a 2 year old boy and a 8 month old boy and thought I was the only one that felt like that. I'm going just as crazy and my husband tells me well you stay at home so this is your job. I usually tell him that when he gets home its share time. He gets weekends off from his work, I don't so you better believe he's sharing some of this duty lol. The only thing I can say is make him share it with you. You certainly didn't get yourself pregnant so he does need to help.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. My husband works out of town most of the time. So he's only here on the weekends. I have three kids. My oldest is a girl she's 4 and in head start, second one is a boy he's 2 and he's a hand full and youngest is a girl she's 9 months old. I try to get my husband help me on the weekends when he's home. I tell your husband that you would like for him to help you especially on the weekends. It won't hurt him any. There his kids too.Good Luck.

Answer 8

What keeps me form going crazy is getting out of the house. I know thats not always a possibility. Idealy your husband should spend some time with the kids when he gets home both for their benifit and to give you a break. can you aska family member to take 1 or both boys for a while even just half an hour durring the day.

Answer 9

I am going through what you are! I have a 28 month old and a 7 month old little girls and im a stay at home mom. I expect a little bit of help like watching them while I cook supper or take a shower. He still is the dad and should help out some too. Good luck!!!!

Answer 10

Give your husband a little time to unwind, then he should help you out with the kids. He has worked 10 hours but I'll bet you have worked at least 10 hours as well taking care of your kids. The kids also need some time with Dad playing or doing things they only do with their Dad. Try to think about it this way, one day you will look back on this time as being very special, & you will miss it! Hard to believe I know but its true! My two are 16 & 14yrs old. Time flies!!!!! Good Luck!!