My ex boyfriend of 2 years, cheated on me several times, one of which lasted 6 months, I had my suspicions and confronted him and I believed him, but then i found out the truth. I also found that he was largely into porn, and that makes me sick. Im now convinced all men are the same and that my new fiance will do the same to me, I cry every night wondering IF? He tells me he never would but i dont know what to think, and hes always on the internet which makes me very paranoid, cos I knew he was into porn before me, im losing my mind, it makes me sick that he could be watching it whilst im at work, or even asleep. What can i do?
2006-12-05 03:21:21 · 10 answers · asked by patsy 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Pretty easy - just check the history on your computer. If he's lying about that then he's probably lying about cheating too.
Go to 'control panel', then to 'internet options'. There you can check the history - on the 'general tab' there is a section 'temporary internet files', click on 'settings', then 'view files'. If you don't find anything then he is telling you the truth and you need to just learn to trust him and be happy!!
My ex was addicted to porn and cheating - I'm very happy now with my husband and have just MADE myself trust him. He hasn't given me any reason not too.
2006-12-05 03:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a similar experience to this and I understand how you're feeling. After that kind of experience you lose trust in people for awhile (at least I did). You shouldn't be with someone you don't trust. I don't know how long you waited to move on to another relationship but seems to me that it wasn't enough time. You shouldn't feel like you need to go around snooping on your fiance'. That might cause conflict and resentment from him which could sabotage the whole relationship. As for the porn... he's a male and males normally like porn. It's eye candy... Don't allow yourself to cry yourself to sleep every night, that's just unhealthy and kinda ridiculous (no offense). So far things between the two of you have worked out right? Obviously if you're engaged.. Don't sabotage it.. Your trust issues seem to be still very strong and seem to be disabling you from having a healthy relationship. Take some time for yourself and remember.. You lived without him once and IF you two split up, I am pretty sure you'll be able to live without him again. All you need is yourself
2006-12-05 03:46:47 · answer #2 · answered by cutesmartnblonde 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First there is a huge difference between using porn and cheating. Most men look at porn, it's not at all abnormal or even unhealthy, that doesn't mean they are going to cheat on their partners. Just because he's on the internet doesn't mean he's using porn anyway.
Communication is vital in any relationship. Explain your concerns and the reason for them to your fiance. Make sure you don't make it sound like you are accusing him or blaming him for anything. It may be that you need some counselling to help you deal with the issue that arise from your previous relationship but it would be a shame if those issues ruined this one.
Good luck
2006-12-05 03:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chill out. Get some self-esteem, and talk to him about it. If it is something that he does, maybe suggest watching it with him. How are you going to be in a marriage with someone who you don't even trust to turn a computer on? You may need to have some counseling to get over the issues you have about cheating. That was then this is now, move on, so both of you can have a healthy life together.
2006-12-05 03:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by valerie s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to forgive your ex for the way he treated you. You don't necessarily have to forgive him physically (unless you want to) but rather mentally and emotionally. Once you forgive him, let it go, go on with your life. If you act like someone who deserves to be cheated on, you will be cheated on.
Second, if there's no trust in the relationship, then it isn't a real relationship. If you and your fiance have talked and addressed these issues before (as you say you have) then trust him unless and until he gives you a reason not to.
You wouldn't want to ruin a great relationship due to insecurity would you?
2006-12-05 03:37:28 · answer #5 · answered by youngwahm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Darling... If you are crying yourself to sleep over it... You need to check it out... Find a friend or a friend of a friend that he doesn't know... that is cute...Have them hit on him... If he takes the bait... You will know hes a cheater... If he doesn't... well... you know what to do then....
As for the internet.... When you are on the computer you can go to the history on your computer to see what websites were looked at the last however long.... At least go to the Tools section on the page... Hit Internet options...and where it says history... add days to the history so you can be sure to see what it is... Your internet history is on your toolbar... search that..
2006-12-05 03:34:06 · answer #6 · answered by MrsMetzger2B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not control another person no matter how hard you try......So stop worrying about it. You are not realizing how special and important you are and, you are not acting like you are the valuable person that you are. Change your view of yourself and you will be loved and respected by others. No one wants to lose a valuable person. Do they?
2006-12-05 03:30:46 · answer #7 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put a parental block on his computer.
Call him every so often to see what he's up to.
Ask about his day and what he did. Be involved in his life, he'll either want to communicate or he'll run away
Do you know all of his friends? If not, you might have to worry.
2006-12-05 03:33:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a loser just save urself tears n pain and leave him,u deserve better!
love sanam
2006-12-05 05:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think he is cheating on you, he probably is.
2006-12-05 03:30:45 · answer #10 · answered by ramman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋