My kids father never helps me at all with the kids Should I email and tell him off?

Answer 1

I wouldn't tell him off. I'd write a letter explaining my position and ask him to help and tell him how much you'd appreciate it. You get more bees with honey.

Answer 2

No, that would be the worse thing to do. I think the best way is to talk it over with him rather then yell at him because you will put him on the defensive rather then settling what the issue is between you both.

Men don't like to be nagged or told what to do because it makes them more angry and less willing to listen to what you have to say. Try not to guilt trip him either because that doesn't work either. Men respond better once they have sat down and rested after a hard day at work mainly because of the pressures they have to deal with from work.

If you are divorced or separated I would look into a good family lawyer? If it's something to do with child support then you should spend some time researching on line to deal with the situation if that's the case? Don't really know because it's a very vague open ended question.

Answer 3

Your question leaves some explaination.

first off, is there a reason why the father doesnt help with the children? In what capacity doesnt he help? You mean he doesnt help when he comes home to take care of them? Do you mean he doesnt pay you child support?

In either case, telling him off in email isnt the solution. Most of the people that have answered your question already have noted that emails themselves can be used in court. In the more immediate term, emails themselves can be misinterpreted and telling him off could cause more harm then help in this situation.

Your best bet is to just sit down and discuss the situation. Get him to relate to your problems by having him realize your half of this situation. if he has any part of a kind heart, then he may empathize with your situation and probably try to pitch in even a lil bit.

If its a money situation and he is living well financially, the court system can deal with this without contacting him at all. Try not to be malicious, be fair, and remember that your children still should be able to see their father if they wish it. Let them come to their own conclusions of what kind of guy he is. Contacting him to tell him off in any capacity isnt a solution in this case.

Answer 4

1 - you need to talk to him.
2 - not over email.
3 - help him come up with things you think he could do to help.
4 - if all you need/want is money, there's a legal system for that if he's not paying.
5 - try to get his mother involved with the kids in a grandma-way. guilt from his mother may help.
6 - stop having sex with him if you are still having sex with him. (all kinds of physical contact.)
7 - realize some guys are dogs...you may have a dog...you may be taking care of these children yourself. get a support system that doesn't involve him. (your family, friends, people you knew before you were with him etc)

Answer 5

No you shouldn't email him, they will come back to bite you. What you need to do is talk face to face with him about the issues you have. Tell him straight what you expect and let him decided what to do next. Don't get mad, just realize some people never grow up and you might have to go it alone.

Answer 6

I would write a letter telling he needs to help you. Go to the child support office so they can start to help you. I have 3 kids and my ex doesny give me a dime let alone call them on there b-day or even see them but it will come around and his butt will end up in jail.

Answer 7

I wouldn't put ANYTHING in an e-mail that could come back to haunt you later. "Telling him off" in e-mail is putting it in writing that could be used later, if a custody battle ever happened, to show that you're a mean, angry person (even if you're not).
Instead, I'd suggest writing a calm, even-toned e-mail listing the issues you are having with his assistance and support of the children -- this documents the problems, and shows that you're trying to deal with them in a calm and constructive way. Then, if you want to, talk to him in person to tell him off :)
Good luck.

Answer 8

You should speak to him in person and explain your feelings. Spell out exactly what your expectations of "helping out" are. The more you communicate with him, the more involved he may become.
Emails are too impersonal. It is also too easy to get carried away, and people can interpret things incorrectly.
Be polite, but stand by your wishes.
Best of luck!

Answer 9

I dunno..Im ma kida myself. Best thing to do would be to avoid those types of people who don't wanna help you and be your friend....