Whenever we argue or talk seriously about anything she threatens me and tells me if I don't like it, "Just break up with me." She says I'm not that great and knows she can replace me at the bar, but, then later that night has sex with me. See, I quit drinking and think she still wants to. We always fight when we drink and it landed me in jail twice... I love her and she say she loves me. She always gets what she wants when she uses the break-up threat... What would you do?
2006-12-05 02:39:55 · 18 answers · asked by jimppanzee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
okay well my boyfriend and i promised each other that we wouldn't drink without each other, and when you're girlfriend says to break up with her she is just saying it cause she's angry, if she really ment it then she would have done it already. she is just angry, and i know that she loves you, im a girl, trust me, i know.
2006-12-05 02:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by Lindseyyy 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
If that's the threat then maybe you need to reevaluate the relationship. The first step is ALWAYS to talk to her about it. If she won't listen then it's a good indication it's time to find someone else.
Relationships are give and take for both sides, and for it to work both of you have to be 100% committed to it. If she is, she'll talk with you and listen to what you have to say.
Stop giving in to the threat is number two. She knows that she's getting what she wants when she uses it. Be a man and when she does it again (depending on who's place it is) There's the door or see you later and leave/kick her out. You'll call her bluf or realize it's time to find someone new. I'm married very happily and love my wife to bits, but if she ever pulled the 'I want it or we're getting divorce' I'd find my keys and drive her to the court house myself.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, although I don't really recommend fishing in a bar. You'll get a lot of bottom feeders.
2006-12-05 10:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by couragetostand 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a girl that drank alot and she made my life a never ending war everything was my fault and the only time she would smile and be nice to me is when she wanted me to make a beer run for her , she was in a rut that would never change i tried so hard to help her but i was the only one trying, it gets old , just try to talk to her and see if she can try just try if she cant and keeps threatening you with that leave me bull cut your heart strings and get out you can do better, when i kicked my x to the curb what she didnt know was I everyday acted as if i loved her more she pushed my love right back in my face , so when i said get out I actually was so relieved and actually happy when she was gone , I didnt expect that but is true and I later found my true love we are very happy, thank God she doesnt drink.If she says she can do better let her go dude, she will be the one unhappy in the long run trust me.Gud Luck
2006-12-05 10:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by albert 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's not love dude. Ya'll are "in love" with the thought of having someone. You two are manipulating each other to be with each other. Threatening break-ups already means there is no respect or relationship or love.
She's already cost you time in jail. Break free & find someone good for you.
2006-12-05 11:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by jillette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her what she wants break it off. You don't need to hear it all the time. and you can find a girl anywhere that will respect and enjoy being with you. So the next time she says it say okay and leave. she won't find another one like you that fast. why be with some one who tells you that your not that great. If she can find someone to replace you than whats keeping her to you if your not that great. move on and find someone that will appriciate you. you deserve it. not her.
2006-12-05 10:45:38 · answer #5 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well thats not really constructive. basically she is saying im not gonna change so if you dont like it leave. so personally i would not necessarily leave but maybe take some extra time during the week for myself. maybe plan a weekend fishing trip. and if she has anything to say about it well you dont like it there is the door. haha basically yeah find your own life so that she isnt such a big part of yours because she is either afraid that you will leave sabotaging this relationship or that thick headed. pick one and run with it.
2006-12-05 10:45:00 · answer #6 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am positive that if you used the break up with me threat on her she wouldn't like it much either. Sounds like she is looking for an out or an excuse to get out of the relationship. I would tell her she is replaceable too - easily!
2006-12-05 10:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by Tricia B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Break up with her silly. She is using your insecurities against you.
Not a nice thing to do first of all and very manipulative.
Is this the type of relationship you want? Do you really want someone who constantly takes you for granted?
I think you already knew the answer but hope that she will somehow change. She wont. You have to be the one to do that.
2006-12-05 10:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by Steph 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It kinda sounds like maybe your girlfriend doesnt feel the same way that she used to. telling you that she can replace you at the bar is mean and not something you say to someone you love. Maybe she wants out but doesnt have the guts to do it herself so she's trying to provoke you into dumping her. All I know is I'd rethink your relationship with her. You can get someone who doesnt start fights with you all the time and someone who doesnt constantly remind you how easilly replaceable you are.
2006-12-05 10:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by Dani 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If she wants to continue to drink she will. If you quit--good for you--stay that way. She's just siveling and using you. Stay broken up with her--is it really worth being so miserable when there are tons of other girls out there who would appreciate you?
2006-12-05 10:45:37 · answer #10 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So when she says just break up with me do it. You'll scare the **** out of her. If she is ok with it, then at least you won't be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. It sounds like you would be better off with out her anyways. She treats you like crap.
2006-12-05 10:45:29 · answer #11 · answered by r_finewood 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋