How should I act toward her?

Question

My ex is coming over to get the cat for the week while I am away on vacation. We broke up about 6 months ago and I haven't seen her in 2 months. She has said she has moved on and she is even starting to date somebody. I still think we are great together and would love to give us another chance. I have already professed my feelings for her and she has turned me aside. I have tried the no contact thing, but everytime we go more than a few days of not talking she always e-mails me about some trivial little thing.
I want to get her back, but don't want to push her away. So how should I act or what should I do when she comes over to my place on Friday???

FYI - We were together for almost 5 years, lived together and were engaged. She still has things at my place and still contacts me.

Answer 1

It sounds as though she is enjoying your pursuit of her but wants to see other men as well. Who was responsible for the break up? If it was you, then you can't blame her for being cautious now. If it was your ex, then you should take the hint and stop pursuing her. The fact that she e-mails you after a few days is her way of saying "Don't forget me, just in case the other guys don't work out!" Do you want to be her second or third choice? When she picks up the cat, be friendly, ask her how she is doing, thank her for taking the cat, but don't say anything about getting back together. Then go and have a good time, and maybe meet a woman who will put you first on her list.

Answer 2

R U SERIOUS????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#1-i know how u feel about the whole "it's over, but my feelings aren't thing..." cuz i am in that right now. (i am a girl however)
but that doesn't change the situation! see some1 else NOW even if ur not that crazy about them, cuz u never know-u might really like them/ and it will make ur ex jealous(if that's what u want)
#2-i'm not oprah, but i think i know something about relationships. and 2 me, she still likes u. have u seen the person she's dating? do u know his name? his address? then how do u know he's real?! she could be lying cuz she wants u back but doesn't want to admit it. or-she really could be w/someone else, and in that case we could get together and make her really jealous! (i'm not joking) how old r u neway?
#3-the stuff in the house has got to go! that's so wrong! she treats u like s**t but expects u to house her cat, hold her stuff, and be there when she has a problem?! WRONG!!!!!!!
#4-I dont care if she's a brazilian super model with frickin double d's and $1,000,000, she has got to go! now, 5 below is one choice, and 6 is another-personally i like 5
#5-from now on-u dont answer her calls/e-mails, and u drop her stuff off at her new place along w/the cat and a note saying "if we're over, so is this bull s**t. tell ur new bf i said hi" (cruel, but she hasn't exactly been the icing on the cake for u)then buy a dog, and make sure she knows u like it
#6-if u really want her back and i mean REALLY, listen when she talks, understand her, and act like u totally dont care about her new bf. even suggest a double date sometime. then suggest that ur new gf and her go out sometime. it'll totally piss her off that u don't care-and turn her on when u buy a second cat! she'll luv how u listen and miss u.
P.S-u better make this ur best answer cuz trust me, it is.
(let me know how it all works out, and if u ever want 2 hook up)luv-cillaj or [e-mail]

Answer 3

Read all of the answers before mine..unfortunately ppl play games... she obviously still has feelings but she's wishy washy!
YOU deserve more than that! Don't let her engage you in the game..
When she picks up the cat, have a box packed with her belongings in it..(Don't hold on to them...also part of the game)and just say sweetly.. I went ahead and packed these for you, I figured it would be awkward for you to call and ask and thought you might need them...

It will give her plenty to think about and it's another baby step for you in healing and moving on so you can find someone who thinks more of you than that..
If it doesn't hurt too much try to stay friends though even if it's from a distance.

Answer 4

There is only one good way to play this. You have got to break all ties with her. She should not be taking care of the cat for you (get someone else to take care of the cat). Stop emailing her. Do not respond to any emails no matter what she asked, matter of fact block emails from getting to you. Ignore her, Ignor her, Ignor her. Get on with your life. Either she will start missing you or she is going to realize she is keeping these small contacts with you because she is not really over you. Either way you win. At least you will not be wasting valuable time thinking about her if she doesn't really want to come back. Now get busy and find someone else to take care of the cat, email her one last time telling her you don't need her services. No "have a nice holiday" No thank you for offering". Then block her emails Then your new life begins. Remember..if you truly love someone you want them to be happy, even if you are not part of that happiness.

Answer 5

Ya learn to hear what she say, and the next time she e-mail you any trivial little thing, Learn to ignore it ! cos she has moved on, you too should. Whose cat is that anyway, get everythings right and stop contacting each other. If she think you guy r great together she would not have turned you aside.

Answer 6

Try your hardest not to let your feelings get the best of you. I think she has made it clear that she's over you. Sometimes we string you along just to make sure we are still special. It sounds horrible and it is, but that's the truth. She told you she's moved on, believe her. Her little trivial things could actually be just that and you are reading way too much into it. Don't set yourself up for a embarrassing fall.

Answer 7

You should treat her with respect and dignity. If you do really love her, then listen to what she is telling you and let her be where she is the happiest. And yes, this may mean that she will not end up with you but end up with someone else. Selfish love is wanting the person to be with you whether or not he/she is happy. True love is knowing when to let go. You already told her how you feel and she already made her choice. Just always be there for her, now and in the future, in whatever capacity she wants you to be in, and support her choices.

Answer 8

Seems peculiar she would email you every few days(did you write back?). Maybe she does still have feelings for you and even though you professed your feelings for her....she wonders if perhaps you are serious. Try making one more valiant effort...if she says no, then tell her you are moving on and not to write emails to you and don't respond to any notes she might write.
No need to pine away for someone who doesn't care for you.
Hope it works out but if not, find a nice girl who will return your feelings.

Answer 9

sounds like she has moved on but doesn't want to give u up. she might need u to stick around u know Ur the guy she is using just in case.She'll keep holding on to u until she finds the relationship she thinks is really going to go some where .Break all ties are your just going to be more hurt when she tells u about the special person in her life that's not you.

Answer 10

if she has moved on then you should respect her wishes, the relationship is over and I hate to tell you this but you have to accept that reality. Just accept it, pushing her to get back into the relationship is something that she probably doesnt want, and you dont want to force her cause she is not going to giver her all. Sorry for your loss. (HUG)

Your next step is to try and get over the relationship, it might be hard but just remeber time heals wounds.