I have recently fallen head over heels in love with the most amazing man for me...i love him so much and we have so much fun together! He too tells me that he loves me completely...but and here comes the problem, he's still in touch with quite a few of his conquests and although he say's that they are just good friends and he has told them all about me, i am finding it quite difficult knowing that he is texting them regularly (like every day!) I know he's a flirt and he was a bit of a player before we met....but can someone change just like that? I have never asked him to stop staying in touch with his 'girl friends' as i don't feel i should give him an ultimatum...i love him so much and i want it to work out between us...but am i getting the piss taken out of me? I really do need advise from both boys and girls....cause i feel like my brains gonna explode! He's a really good looking guy, funny, inteligent and so sexy and he does get a lot of attention from girls...But can i trust him?
2006-12-05 02:22:37 · 14 answers · asked by TH2O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You see the thing is he does say that he has never felt this way about anyone before and that he loves me so much it scares him! So he's not used to doing the whole dating thing! I myself had come out of a long term realtionship before i met him and i was used to feeling secure in a ralationship and i knew my ex would never cheet on me (the relationship unfortunately had just run it's course) So it's now difficult for me to feel so vunerable! Another thing is he often talks about his ex's but if i try to talk about any of mine he just say's that he would rather not think about me being with other men...i think he can be quite a jelous guy and some of my friends have sugested he could be saying things about girls finding him attractive and girls coming on to him, because guys find me attractive and he somehow wants me to know that he too get attention??? could this be true or do men not think that much? (sorry guys) I don't play games with people's feelings and i'm so confused! HELP!!!
2006-12-05 03:25:50 · update #1
nobody here can give you the correct answer to that one im afraid
2006-12-05 02:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just depends on what's in his heart. If he loves you then you have nothing to worry about. If you act jealous it will only throw up a red flag with him, however do pay attention and ask unthreatening questions as needed. I use to be a huge party animal and had many ex guys that I stayed in touch with. When I started dating this one guy he had the same concerns that you are having but I told him straight up that when I'm with someone then I'm with someone and he would just have to trust me. But the bottom line was that he was too jealous to trust me. I never did anything with any of my exes while I was with him and never planned on it. I am STILL friends with all those guys to this day and even being single again have not stepped back in time for another romp. You are just going to have to trust your man. If he starts acting shady and not wanting to offer details of what is being said or done then you have the right to express your concerns and let him know how you feel but remember ... in a non threatening way so that if he's in the right then he won't feel under attack. Good Luck
2006-12-05 02:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by rayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!! you can't, a leopard does not change his spots. And if there are that many and he is texing them everyday. I'd say he is trying to notch up as many as he can.
But the issue with you is do you want to continue to see him and get your heart broke. Because I'm afraid this guy is not so genuine and up front as you would like to believe. I'm glad you did not give him an ultimatum because that would not work either he would just do it behind your back. The final decision is yours, sorry. Sheila.
2006-12-05 02:53:35 · answer #3 · answered by she shaw sea shore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is not if you can trust him but rather if you are willing to trust him. You will never know unless you do trust him and he proves worthy or unworthy of that trust. I trusted someone for 9 years and then only found out she used that trust to screw around. Its not easy but you do get over it. If you don't try you will never know, but if you know that there will always be a doubt in your mind, then give up now because without trust its not worth it.
2006-12-05 02:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by stoutseun69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could not give you an honest answer to yur question. You and you alone can only answer that. You really need to think things over about any relationship with him.
If he is busy everyday with past conquest as you call it you may find in the near future you are one more of his past conquest.
dont allow this guy to hurt you.
I think you need to make a mid-course correction with the realationship. depends on you not us.
2006-12-05 02:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm.
a tough one isnt it?
you dont wanna sound needy by saying something about the ex's but you also dont wanna look like a mug either!
however........
if you are getting serious with him (and he feels the same) then maybe its time for a chat with him about the others.....
does he meet them still??? if so, why dont you all go out for a drink together ( not at the ex's at the same time obviously!!) but each time he meets one of them...
im sure that would make you feel more comfortable with them as you can see how they are with each other.......
also about the amount of times he is texting needs to be cut down a bit.... daily is a bit excessive and i think he needs to be told that.
would he like it if you were doing that i wonder?
be straight and to the point with him. if he loves you he will take what you say into consideration as no man who loves his gf wants to hurt her.
good luck- keep us informed!
2006-12-05 02:29:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have just decribed my boyfriend at the start of our relationship it used to drive me mental and after fighting and talking about it i relised that thats who he is he likes the attenion and knowing that theres girls after him but as he told me he comes home to me and loves me so i had to trust him he was the biggest player ever but gave it all up for me because he wanted to as he said players dont do relationships they play hes being honest with you by letting you know hes txting these girls so trust him all players settle down when they find the right person so relax and enjoy the fact that your boyfriend is in demand but he only wants you
2006-12-05 02:33:18 · answer #7 · answered by keevy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Good Afternoon, It sounds like You are wanting a two-way thing, which to me is the way, but maybe he does not ?
Trust your heart, try not to get it broken.
Best Wishes, jd.
2006-12-05 02:34:23 · answer #8 · answered by johnnydiablo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should trust him JUST yet. In time you will grow to trust him. As for now, you cant really explain him to change so soon. Once he can trust you too, he may start to change.
2006-12-05 02:29:58 · answer #9 · answered by Mistress_T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u all ready now the answer to this one trust should be there right from the start.i think you both should sit down and
talk this through and see where it goes from there
2006-12-05 02:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by freddie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if his in touch with his ex's - i'd give it a miss....
trust me i've ben there, all the same stuff was said to me too....in the end he cheated on me with one of his ex's.......
in the long run....better let it go now - then the heart break in the future
2006-12-05 03:29:11 · answer #11 · answered by stressed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋