ok, here's the deal. I'm the secondary minister at my church. there's this girl i attend church with that i've known since i was 9. i've found that over the years i've grown feelings for her. the only issue is that she's 14 and i'm 19.
i've been praying for God to show me what to do. i feel that a relationship between her and myself would work out, and it would be a relationship to honor God. the only problem that keeps coming up is our age difference.
So here's the question...is it wrong for me (a 19 year old) to have feelings for her (a 14 year old)? is it also wrong for me (a minister) to have feelings for a girl in my congrigation at church?
2006-12-05 01:49:01 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My opinion is wait until she is of age... That is only 5 yrs difference but her being only 14, 5 yrs difference could be looked at in a different way.... As far as her being in your congrigation, I dont find anything wrong with that, for the simple fact that you would want to meet someone with the same beliefs as yourself, and church would be the best place to do that.. Me and my fiance are 10 yrs apart, but we are 33 and 43.... I would just suggest waiting until she is older.... I just wonder what her parents would say, which should be your biggest worry...
2006-12-05 01:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by Indymom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friend, there is absolutely nothing wrong, I would say its wrong if you had met her at school or some place else. If you both attend the same church I see nothing wrong, The age diffrence is only 5 yrs, and its not like you are going to marry her right away. Be carefull though, I went through the same and she lives in a nother country ( i moved). I still think she is the love of my life but she has a boyfriend now, nothing I can do. All I can tell yoo is to be sure that the feeling is mutual! God Bless!
2006-12-05 01:54:56 · answer #2 · answered by Zorro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man of God, you should have a lot more control over your primeval desires. You should not be in any position to uphold any moral fortitude if you can't control yourself, how is it you are to guide other people.
If I were you I'd forget about the 14 year old GIRL, and I would leave the church! You have no business to hold the position of a minister.
I could tell by your statement that you may have ruined your own life, Don't ruin the lives of others, take what little faith you still have to change your life--"Please!"
2006-12-05 02:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by Darren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not wrong for a minister, but definetly wrong b/c she's under aged and under developed. She's not even a woman yet, give her some time to grow. When she turns 20, you'll be 25 and the world is ok with that age difference. So just hold on and wait until she becomes of age.
2006-12-05 01:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by Nic Jones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point, any relationship involving contact is illegal, she is a minor.
Having a relationship with someone in your church is not wrong. Using your position to further that relationship could be.
Be very careful! I'd wait until she is of legal age before getting involved, otherwise you are opening yourself up for all sorts of problems and trouble. Parents can be very protective of their daughters, and accusations can taint an otherwise promising career.
If God believes this is right, he will provide the patience.
2006-12-05 01:53:53 · answer #5 · answered by Aggie80 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope god tells you to get out a little more often and find a girl your own age. There is a world outside of church with all types of pretty girls your own age. You are abusing your authority.
2006-12-05 01:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Oinky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be in a Catholic Church. I heard that it runs rampant. Atleast she's a girl though, not a little boy like the other ministers.
2006-12-05 01:53:58 · answer #7 · answered by almondjoy_1000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not wrong to have feelings, however, the age thing is always an issue. Even though you grew up together, she is still underage. You will have to wait...........if your feelings are true...........they will be the same for her when she is 18. And church should have nothing to do w/ how you feel.
2006-12-05 01:53:16 · answer #8 · answered by FireBug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U should be ashamed of yourself. What r u thinking? First off she's a child and ur and adult. And ur a minister, no wonder people don't want to go to church anymore. Ur setting a bad example for all churches and congregation. PLEASE GET HELP.
2006-12-05 01:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by sissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the church, find someone your age, and focus more on futhering yourself.
2006-12-05 01:53:02 · answer #10 · answered by Wandering Sage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋