When my boyfriend gets upset or if something bad happens instead of calling me to talk about it, he ignores my phone calls until he gets over it. This rarely happens but when it does it makes me very nervous. He says that he doesn't talk to me until he gets over it because he doesn't want to make my problems his. This makes me feel very left out of his world am I being unreasonable for being upset that he does this or should I be glad that he doesn't want to bother me with his problems. This has never lasted for more than 24 hours but it aggravates me to no end. Am I being unreasonable?
2006-12-05 01:45:13 · 20 answers · asked by 3262m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, he is being immature for refusing to take your phone calls....If something makes you "nervous" that means you should trust your instincts..... Perhaps there is something more to the story.....
2006-12-05 01:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by favrd1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think his keeping you separate from his issues is a rather mature & thoughtful way of dealing with it.
Perhaps a compromise would be if he would at least return your calls to say that he's feeling upset, & doesn't want to load his troubles on you right now, so he'll call you tomorrow. At least that way you will know what is going on, & that it's not about you.
Remember he's just your BOYFRIEND, not your life partner. At least not just yet. I suspect that you two are still relatively early in your relationship, so he's not ready to open up to you & share this side of himself with you.
If it's never lasted more than a day then try to relax a little. Give him some space once in a while when he needs it.
I am afraid that you do come across as a little tightly wound if you get upset that he hasn't returned your calls inside of 24 hours. So I think you are being a little unreasonable.
2006-12-05 09:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being unreasonable. If you two are a couple then you should be a part on what is going on with him. He shouldnt leave you out when he is angry. Although sometimes we wish they would because of the way that they act. Talk to him about it and don't be pushy about it. Good luck.
2006-12-05 09:48:26 · answer #3 · answered by i have a taste for waffles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you are not being unreasonable. a relationship is about sharing and this means sharing everything, your happiness and problems with each other. it maybe that it's just in his character to shut people out of his life for those short moments when faces with problems. talk to him and tell him about your concerns and how it makes you feel when he shuts you out. if he has problems expressing himself, write him a letter telling him how you feel and he may write back telling you about what's bothering him.
2006-12-05 09:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by Scorpio1978 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon,men are known for doing this. Thats thier way of handling things on thier own,,or just needing to be alone to figure things out. They also do it when there is an argument because they dont want anymore confrontation. Dont stress about it,,its very normal..men handle things differently than women. Its all good,,dont let it bother you at all.
2006-12-05 09:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
men tend to do that, more then women,,, he wants to resolve his problem,,,,,, your method of problem solving might to be talk it out, his isnt,,,,, i think he should let you know,,,, in the first call you make,,,, then you should back off till he is over it........many men only talk about problems as a means to a solution,,,,,, wereas women just want someone to discuss it with,,,,,,,so if he doesnt feel you have a solution to his problem, or that you are
responsible for his problem,,he wouldnt see a need to talk,,,,,,
also, if he just wanted to say,,,,, hey this happened and im angry,,,,, could you just hear that?? would you need to say more about it ,,,, about his feelings etc,,,,? that could be apart of it, which ties into the above i mentioned, just simply different communication styles and ways of handling conflict
2006-12-05 09:51:12 · answer #6 · answered by dlin333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
na, in a way he is doing a good thing and bad thing. the good thing is that he is taking responsibility for his own problems , but he is block you out and that should not happen just try talking to him more or somthing , my girlfriend broke up with me last week so i dont know if i really have any good advice you should be taking so i guess just go with the flow and enjoy life.good luck,
2006-12-05 09:49:47 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Knox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling him that you feel left out of his world when he does that and that he could b*tch about his problems to you in the heat of the moment and you are ok about putting yourself at risk of being slapped,cursed and sweared at,body-slammed,insulted to the max. As long as he would feel better,you would bottoms-up all his problem for him and gladly make his problems yours.
Cheers!!!!!
2006-12-05 09:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by Geo C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do the same.... It just that men want their space and want to work things out mentally before tackling the problem.... If you don't give us the space, you may hear things that you would rather not want to hear.....
It can last more then 24 hours.... Just give him time.... He will most likely come around....
2006-12-05 09:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by JohnS 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some of us like to just be left alone when we get upset, but they say its always better to talk it out.
2006-12-05 09:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by Tina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋