My parents are STILL calling me at all hours at home after I have asked them several times not to..?

Question

Here is what I told them this time after I asked if they had an emergency which they did not:

"Please do not call early in the morning when I am gettng ready for work. I have asked this several times and you keep doing it. I am rushing around trying to get ready and I almost always and up forgetting something I need for work.Is there anything I can do to help you not do this? I really do not want to leave the phone off the hook in the morning. Please PROMISE me you will not do this again. It REALLY screws me up in the morning but I really do not want to leave the phone off the hook." At first they said, So dont answer the phone" I answered, " I have to make sure there is, God forbid, no emergency"

Then they were very apologetic,and promised not to do it again. My BF is very upset, they often wake him up with their early AM calls, he works different shifts at his job. They are interfering with my eating and sleeping also.

I went home very sick one day from work about 2 months ago. I called them and told them I was going home sick, wanted to lie down and be left alone. They called me about an hour after I got home. I had the migrane from hell and was sleeping, the machine answered the phone, they got angry that I did not answer. It was not important, I cant even remember what they wanted.

They usually (about 90%) do this because they want me to do something for them. They do not do it to check on me.

Answer 1

Let voice mail or an answering machine pick up your calls. I know it's a pain in the butt, but I would take the phone out of your bedroom, put it in another room, turn down the ringer and let a machine or voice mail pick it up.

Tell them that you've tried to be as understanding as you can about their calls, but the bottom line is that they don't respect you enough to respect your wishes. Let them know that, until they can learn to respect you, you won't be answering the phone and will return their calls when it's convenient for you.

They've put you in a "parents who cried wolf" situation. If there ever is a real emergency, don't feel badly that you may have responded late. It's not like you didn't try to work with them to resolve the issue. When they demonstrate their respect, on a consistent basis, you can ease up.

Answer 2

I would just take the simple way out and just not answer the phone... let the machine get it... turn the ringer on low and set the mavhine to pick up on two rings... that's what I do... I myself rationalize it by saying..."if it was an emergency, I'm not an ambulance service, a doctor or 911" I have people calling me all hours and they think I can sit down anytime and just listen to some lame drama that's going on in there lives...

If they complain or question you about it... tell them you had to turn the ringer down because your bf is being disturbed by the phone so early in the morning and it's not fair to him... and that your sorry that you miss there calls... but for them to rest assure that before you leave for work you will check the machine and listen to there message to make sure that is not an emergency...
Hope this helps... and I do understand what it's like...

Answer 3

I am sorry for all your troubles! I think your parents are out of line. It's one thing to call, and to care, which they certainly do, but it's just too much to expect you to always be available.
they are simply asking and expecting too much of you! I think you were very diplomatic and tactful in how you approached them about calling in the morning.
I would put my phone on a quieter ring and then tell them that from now on, you are not answering during certain times, such as when you are getting ready in the morning. Just make sure you listen in for the machine in case of an emergency. And then don't answer. This might be difficult for you, because you sound like a very caring person who wants to be available when the phone rings, but it's the only way you will get your point across.
Nothing bad will happen. If you are listening, you will know if it's an emergency or not.
Also, if they knew you were sick and in bed, they should be more understanding towards you. I don't think it's realistic for them to expect you to jump out of bed just because you hear the phone. When people are sick, they need to rest.
Have another conversation with them and tell them you need more space. There is no harm in having them leave a message on your answering machine. If they need something, you can get back to them in a reasonable time period. It sounds like they are just being too demanding.
Tell them they will need to be more considerate and that you are just overwhelmed by all of this. If you don't you will really resent it one day.

Answer 4

Wow thats pretty selfish of them to keep calling you so early after you have asked them not to. Im sure they are just looking out for you or checking up but they dont need to be so rude about it. You need to get an answering machine and let it pick up right away. That way if it is an emergency then the person will have to leave a message right? And if its important than you can call them back. an answering machine or even through your phone co can set you up with one doing it over the phone.

Answer 5

I see that some respect has been lost here. They need to respect your wishes as an adult. Try setting up a time to call that fits your schedule so that you will not be interrupted over mundane issues. If they continue with the obsessive calling, do let your answering machine pick-up. If it is an emergency somebody will leave a message. You are an adult now, and it may be hard for them to see that you have a life outside of them.

If they are recently retired they may just have too much time on their hands and don't know what to do with all the extra-hours in the day. Try giving them errands to run for you, attached with notes, so they won't have to call to clarify details. This will allow them to still feel apart of your life and give them something constructive to do. Do make time for them even if it is Sunday brunch, and be sure to let them know that you love them very much, but you have a very busy schedule and must adhere to it in order to become a successful person.

I hope this may help some and good luck!

Answer 6

If its not out of love and they need something they can leave it on the answering machine and you can call them later(just be sure to turn the volume down). My children often do not answer my call it goes to their voice mail and they get back with me when they can, I do the same to them. If there is an emergency someone will come to the door and they can leave a message about the emergency also, don't feel guilty not talking to them right that minute. You can also tell them you will be screening your calls, our whole family does it.

Answer 7

Get an answering machine that lets you screen calls and just pick up if it is the emergency you're expecting. Turn the phone volume down low so it doesn't bother your boyfreind and there ya go.

The other thing you could do is arrange a time to call them, say once a week, to catch up and reassure them that you are okay.

Answer 8

I'm sure there is a way to switch your phone to ring once before the machine picks up that way you can hear the message and if its important pick the phone up or call them back on the ride to work. That way the phone is not ringing 5 times before the machine picks up waking everyone up. When I'm sleeping I never hear the first ring. And your BF can sleep.

Answer 9

Thank someone, that they don't do that with me, specially because it's something not important, so you should call them in the middle of the night at keep going at it, until they understand how bad this is for you. And when you call them, you should say something like this:"Well, I just want to let you know, I don't like the calls in the morning and you should stop that."
They might not like you for doing this, but people do not seem to understand how bad something can be, unless someone does it to them.....

I hope they will stop with this.....really....and if they really don't get the message, just put your answering machine on and turn of the sound........

Good luck.

Answer 10

lol you poor thing. i know exactly what your going through. how long have you lived away from home? if it has not been that long i think all it is, is that they miss you.maybe to help your self and your boy friend and yes even your parents. before you go to bed at night give them a quick phone call let them know that every thing is OK that your fine. I'm not saying do this every night, because if you did that god forbid if you forget one night,lol they just need to hear your voice, they miss you. try not to get so mad about it. when they are gone your going to miss those annoying phone calls.one other thing, why not get up 5 min. sooner and call them this way the phone wont wake up the boyfriend.