I'm getting married in 4 months, and i am not excited. Lately, Ijust feel down all the time, and me and my fiance fight constantly over silly little things. I only started feeling like this once we got engaged. Does anybody know why i am so depressed all of a sudden, or has someone gone through this too?
2006-12-05 00:46:34 · 21 answers · asked by terrie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If your relationship isn't going well now, then is makes sense why you are depressed. Work at your relationship everyday so that both of you are confident that it will last. It is very important that you both feel that together you can overcome any conflict or issue that may arise when you are married. Every day both of you must show effort towards becoming better people, and better partners.
2006-12-05 00:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I know what you are talking about!! You have already done everything in the fun line of a relationship, and now you are considering the hard part. The commitment and the fact that you will no longer have your freedom runs cold childs down most people's backs. A lot of people do just fine in a relationship untill they get married, and then they just wilt down, and are not happy any more!! This is why, it is better to not have had sex before marriage, and if it were possible to be a virgin. Then you two could have so much to look foreward to in learning each other and pleasing each other. Sorry, I am in the same boat as yourself, and the best that you can do is to try to encourage each other, or just forget marriage, and hope that you find someone else where you can get things in a more proper order.
2006-12-05 09:02:24 · answer #2 · answered by hog rock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you both go through some pre marital counseling before you get married. If not then you will fighting over bigger things once you get married. Maybe you are not ready to get married to begin with. You need to make sure that this is really what you want to do with the rest of your life. If there are any doubts in your mind then i would seriously think about this. You dont want to make a mistake then end up divorced in a yr. I would seek some professional help together first off.
2006-12-05 08:50:10 · answer #3 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're getting cold feet. Sometimes planning a wedding can be stressful and bring out the worse in everybody. I was engaged for 14 months and I had to work hard not to become a Bridezilla.
Try not to snap at your Fiance. You two love each other. The wedding is just the ceremony....the marriage is you life with each other.
Seek Counseling...it's very helpful.
2006-12-05 08:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by Wife~and~Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally normal, sex drive goes down, they drive you nuts, and you don't understand why. I am going through the same thing. I have spoken to some of my friends that have gotten married and they said it was normal. You put sooo much time and energy into it and you sit and stress and have nightmares about things going wrong (that just started for me). I used to want him around me all of the time, we don't usually fight that often, we might discuss but never fight and we don't bicker. Lately we have been bickering and stuff, The year before you get married and the year after are very hard. It will get better. If you need someone to just vent to let me know.
2006-12-05 15:54:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to pick mine apart a lot too, and got upset. Its part of the process of becoming married. You didn't think it was something that happens in a little old fifteen minute ceremony, did ya' honey?! You're under a ton of stress and adjustment to a smelly ol' man can be a big thing. Compliment him when he does things right and do special things like cook his favorite cookies, trust me. Treat him as you want to be treated and stick with it, you'll be amazed how much he turns around. A great reference for being a fun wife is the mama gena marriage manual. Everyone should read it when engaged!!!
2006-12-05 17:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the exact same way. Deep down inside you want to marry this man, but you're not quite ready to be 100% totally committed to him. Of course you love him but now you're beginning to see things that didn't irritated you before now extremely irritates you. Trust me I felt your pain...It seems that all the good looking men are coming out of the wood works and they all want to have your number...Now I didn't get depressed but I most definitely didn't think that giving up my players card would be this difficult!!! Trust me if you love him you don't necessarily have to get married right now. You may have some issues that you have to deal with and he may have some also...Talk it out make sure that this is what you both want and trust me you'll feel better after you get it off of your chest
2006-12-05 09:11:39 · answer #7 · answered by Black Barbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be just the stress of planning a wedding. Sit down and think - REALLY THINK - how would you feel without your fiance in your life? Does it make you sick and scared or free and alive? When I was nervous about getting married, I tried to picture my life without my husband (then boyfriend) and it scared the hell out of me. So I knew it was jitters. But yes, we too bickered over stupid crap.
2006-12-05 09:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mum2Boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal, getting married is a big step, I remember that I had this feeling till my wedding day, I always kept asking myself if I made the right decision.
Don't worry my dear, it is very normal and I'm sure your fiance has the same feeling. try to relax, and spend time with your friends .
Congratulations for your coming wedding
2006-12-05 08:50:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes stress can rob you of the joy you should be feeling. Put the wedding plans aside for a weekend and get back to being a couple. Take a weekend to have fun, relax and enjoy each other.
2006-12-05 12:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋