I drug tested my 16 year old last night. He tested positive for THC. I know the boy he was with and I am friends with the mother. The kids have been best friends for 5 years. I've known her for years and she is very involved in her son's life. Basically, she's a very good mother. I am 100% certain that her son would test positive as well. Do I tell her to test her son? Do I not say anything? Help!
2006-12-05 00:46:31 · 9 answers · asked by tellme.lies 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Great suggestions everyone. I'm not concerned that she will be mad at me, that I could live with. I just wasn't sure how to approach it without coming right out and saying TEST YOUR SON! He's been smoking the wacky stuff!
2006-12-05 02:13:37 · update #1
You have the choice to tell her what you did and the results of the test... then the balls is in her court as far as her testing her son... She may think her boy would never do a thing like that and forbid her son from hanging with yours... so it could cause your son some grief letting others know he failed the test... maybe it would be good for you son that others know and may help him to realize this will not be tolerated... I wish you the best... only you know the other kids mom well enough to know how she will react... Oh and I think you did the right thing testing your son.
2006-12-05 01:33:26 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here are some things that you need to think about. one if you tell this kids mother of course she is going to tell her son who informed her that he could be doing drugs and he will end up being mad at your son for you telling on him and that might ruin the friendship, and yes you are friend with the mother, but you could lose her as a friend too, especially if her son test negative, because you assumed it was her son that your son was doing the drugs with. those are the negative things about you telling. now as for the positive,if this child test positive as well then you could be saving this child and your own from doing worse things. now that your son has tested positive, what actions do you plan on taking? or are you letting this go with a stern warning that if it happens again he will be in big trouble?
2006-12-05 08:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have three children and I know if that was my son I would DEFINATELY want to know!!! If my friend did not tell me and something happened to him I would be VERY upset. BUT I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I would just tell them you know "I had a strong supcision my son was on something after "our" kids came home last night...so I made him take a drug test and it came up positive!" That leaves no room for her to get definsive like some parents do and leaves it up to her whether or not she should test him. That way you are not putting preasure on the friendship and if she is crazy enough to know that kids will be kids ....good kids or not....then she is just one of those that will overlook his wrong doings. You could also start off saying you had a suspicion they were "up to something" after they arrived home...to me thats enought to say hey your kid must have done it too since they were together. If she gets definsive and mad at you for looking out for their safety and well being then she is no friend of yours and in my eyes doesn't value the friendship enough to let that pass. In other words...if she is a good friend and mother she should realize your intentions.
2006-12-05 09:33:52 · answer #3 · answered by lullabyforthree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her! You need to help both of them! You can be the greatest parent in the world and kids are going to try drugs and you just have to do the right thing now! Good luck and if you love these boys help them both. They will hate you now but, thank you later in life!
2006-12-05 08:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by lucyloulady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ew. Tell her that you tested your child and the results. The rest is up to her. Let us know what happens!
2006-12-05 08:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should sit his mom down and talk with her privately with no interruptions. Make sure you don't come off as defensive and blameful so much that she refuses to hear you out at all.
2006-12-05 08:50:56 · answer #6 · answered by Sonyja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would just tell her that you tested your son and what you found. Then its up to her what she does and doesnt do.
2006-12-05 08:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
discuss this with ur son, then with his friend then if neccassary to ur friend, this is from the childs point of view.
as a parent ur friend would probably like to be told rather than u discussing it with the son, so i dont know.
2006-12-05 09:06:03 · answer #8 · answered by blakorkid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur in a tuff section i think ui should tell her
2006-12-05 08:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by take it or leave it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋