my daughter is four. the"sperm doaner father" is not around. he has not seen her three years. he knows were she is and how to contact us,but chooses dope before anyone or anything.
2006-12-05 00:23:26 · 16 answers · asked by aimee r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am not really understanding the question but whatever name you put on your daughters birth certificate is her legal name. If you would like to remove it, you have to go through the legal system to change her name. Even though the father is not around, it is still good to have his last name because he is her biological father. She should know at least her fathers family name and where she comes from. Example... later in life she decides to date. Most likely she will not date someone with the same last name as hers giving her a good chance of not dating one of her family members. Sounds like a Jerry Springer or soap opera episode but it could and has happened.
My son is now 20 and when I had him his father signed the birth certificate. For the next 14 years he was nowhere and did not help me with anything until the courts finally found him. During that time I often said why why why on giving him his fathers last name. But it was for the best, him and his father's family and extended family are close. Just becuase things are not as you expect now, it does not always stay that way. He is in college, so smart, on basketball, and very sure of himself.
Please do not say bad things about the father in front of or to your daughter, she does not understand and she should have as many good feelings as possible about everyone. The day will come when she wants to meet her father and you want her to be strong in case he turns out to be a jerk. :-) But more importantly, you want her to be the type of woman her father would be proud of especially since he was not there.
Look to the future not the past. Make her great because of you and your love, not weak less than she is because of bad talking her father or because her father is not there or because she feels something is wrong because her father is not there.
Good luck.
2006-12-05 00:38:22 · answer #1 · answered by Full of Life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what I was told: You must be remarried and the step-father can adopt her and give her his last name. The biological father must be willing to relinquish his parental rights, if he is not willing then you don't stand a chance. A parent cannot just sign a waiver. There must be an adoption involved.
A little something to think about. Do you have a legal document stating the living arrangements of your daughter in the event of your death? May I suggest you do this, if he is what you say and you would not want him to automatically get custody, then you need to have that in a legal document. There is no guarantee it will prevent him from getting custody, but he would have to put forth an effort to fight it in court.
Sorry, I couldn't help anymore than that, but it really is something to think about. Good Luck!!!!
2006-12-05 01:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what state you are from really all the laws are diffrent. My daughter has my last name not her fathers, and when i get married and i have a new last name, i will change hers too... what you have to do is go to the court house and get the papers. Her father has to sign to this change, if he doesnt it goes to court, and this guy has to have proof that her changing her last name will hurt the CHILD... so remember its all about the children. Most times the court will grant a last name change!
2006-12-05 01:15:30 · answer #3 · answered by xopinkrose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH!My! There are always two sides to every story! Your sweet little girl deserves to know her Father's side of the family.He is not a sperm donor! Maybe there are circumstances that prevent him from contacting you. How do you treat him when he does call or try to see her?What about his Mother and Father? They are her Grandparents! She deserves to know who she is! As for your question I think you have to take your daughters father to court to have his parental rights taken away to change her Last name. Poor little girl.
2006-12-05 01:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my daughter was 4 I wanted to change her name too - instead I just added my last name to hers. Now that I have other children we all have matching last names. I chose to do that so that when I did have other kids then she would not feel like the odd ball - having a different last name then me and the others. I am glad that I kept her dads last name too though - even though we divorced that is still her dad and I felt she should have both last names.
2006-12-05 00:55:49 · answer #5 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can change her name but, you have to do it legally! Make him sign the papers. He is a looser and get him out of her life now so that he can never see her again but, be prepared for her questions when she gets older. Your daughter will start asking in her teen years and you need to get any medical information and family history from him so you have it in case something happens.
Good Luck!
2006-12-05 00:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by lucyloulady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact an attorney but I don't believe you can legally change her name without his consent.....is he listed as father on the birth certificate? Good luck
2006-12-05 00:25:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel certain that you could change her name.Although the courts may contact him about it,I don't think he stands much of a chance fighting it.
2006-12-05 00:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by roosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be done, but get a lawyer. Basicly you position the court, then put add in paper, if no respose, the judge grants it.
2006-12-05 00:32:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that you could change her last name. I mean the 'sperm doner' sounds like a loser!
2006-12-05 00:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋