all men and women out there!! your opinion please!!?

Question

i split with my boyfriend of 3 yrs last night.
yes we row like most couples do but inever considered it a problem,out of the blue saturday he said he didnt know if he wanted to be with me, this is the 3rd time we split in 3 yrs the last time, we have our own house together and 3 cats he promised its made him realise what he lost and he wants nobody but me, now hes done it again, he goes from one extreme to the other, anyway he said this time he finds me possessive because twice in one week i txt him wen he was out needing to speak to him and he never replied so when i called him and he answered i asked why he hadnt txt back or called, also i do get the hump if he says he gona be in at 9 and by 9:30 still not in and no call to say he gona be late, but to me when you commit to someone its just polite to let me know, if after 3 yrs just cos of that he dont know if he wants to be with me is it really worth it?? were 23 yrs old

Answer 1

In my opinion you've reached the 3-year 'slump', as its called. Its the point where unmarried couples either 1)move forward together or 2) move forward apart ! Sad to say, but its something most couples go through at this point. Communication is the only thing that is gonna see you and him thru this. If you need proper answers from him, DEMAND them. You didn't give a man 3 years of your life for nothing ! Respect is letting your loved one know if you gonna be late etc... BUT if you saw a pattern in this bahaviour, then perhaps, it was a sign that he probably wanted out ?? I'm not meaning to sound harsh or anything, but you have to consider all these options since your break-up. I wish you luck with whatever happens !

Answer 2

It's not 'just because of that'. It's a whole lot of 'this & thats'. Things add up. Just little things, but after awhile, there are just too many of them. It really sounds like he's been wavering about this relationship for a long time.

I wish I had some simple advice for you, but owning a house together is a big thing and puts you both in quite a pickle.

Try to keep in mind that you are the way you are and try to accept that and don't feel guilty about it. That doesn't mean that there's not room for and some necessity to compromise in relationships.

Maybe you DO call him too often and cling a little too tightly.
Another guy may love that very thing about you.

You're in for some tough times ahead, unfortunately. He's likely to come back again, just like in the past, but how many times can you continue to take him back? How long can you live like this?
That's up to you to decide.

Best Wishes,

Polly

Answer 3

familiarity breeds contempt. it sounds like this applies to your situation, after three years he still doesnt know if he wants to be with you? thats not right! does he love you, love isnt something that can be controlled, switched on and off, either its their or its not and if he can treat you like that then it would seems its not.

i know thats a harsh judgement from someone who has never met you, but i was in a similar position 6 months ago, and sometimes the hardest thing to do, to say goodbye, is the right one.

I hope your ok, just remember there is always someone to turn to for help, or if you feel like you dont then please email me, or anyone else. i know what its like going through a break up alone, and sometimes it is easier talking to a starnger than a friend.

Good luck with everything.
x

Answer 4

i think you should leave well alone ,dont get in touch with him no matter how much you want to ,dont talk about him to his friends as it will only get back to him. the longer you manage to keep away from him the easier it will be to live without him.go out with your mates, relax and try enjoying your life, this relationship sounds to me as though it has run its course, i no its hard but now is the time for you to turn your life around , you deserve more than sitting by the clock counting the minutes until you see him again .
good luck in your new life.

Answer 5

Do you not think that you're being a little pedantic?

If he's out with friends, then he's out and enjoying himself. That's not to say that he's forgotten about you but that his mind is elsewhere and having fun.

If you're just texting him to see what time he's coming home then he may feel trapped or that you've taking the place of his mother and no man likes that concept.

I know it's a game of give and take and compromise is key but I think you have to learn to pick your battles.

Answer 6

I guess its over...You dont want a man who is using you... this guy is buying time to see someone and then come back again wen he is done with the other chick....He doesnt care about you, not even a txt...? Be happy you are now single....

Answer 7

i see you have cats. what does a cat do if its not happy or wants something else? it goes elsewhere. your b/f has too many options left open to him. i dont mean another woman i mean he has somewhere else to stay. if he had nowhere else to go he wouldnt be so hasty to leave.
maybe its time you looked at selling the house and splitting the profits and going your seperate ways. 3 splits in 3 years is bad.

Answer 8

Don't wait around for him and revolve your life around him. Start goin out with your mates and get a more exciting life, but don't tell him every detail about what your doing to keep him on his toes. In other words, just treat him the way he's treating you. He might want you back then.

Answer 9

You don't need him hun - your well rid and when he comes back begging for you to take him back just tell him you ain't sure whether or not if he is what you really want - bloody men can't decide what they want - they want to be in a relationship with the security of his lady always being there when he comes home - and they also want the excitement of being able to do what they want when they want!!!!

Answer 10

There comes a time when u know it's not going to work. Nobody is too blame (sometimes). Perhaps it is best to go your own ways -parting in frienship. That or really commit and marry!