my ex g/f of 4 years broke up with me because she said she fell out of love she is dealing with anarexica work college etc and i think being in a relationship was hard on her i have accepted it's over and will move on she want's to stay freinds and i want to be there for her i have never been friends with a girl before how do you!!!!!! what do you talk about!!!!!!and what not to talk about these might seam silly questions but i would not ask if i did not no!! i don't want to mess things up can you help it will be hard to see her because my felling will not go so any help would be great!!!!!!!
2006-12-04 23:51:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
basically its probably the same you talk with her about the same things you would have before.. about school, work.. blah blah blah
you just don't do all the gf/bfy stuff :)
2006-12-04 23:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was in the same situation. Once you have such strong feelings for a person it is hard to just be a friend. But if you both really want to try to be friends have a word or sentence set up so that if you cross back over to your b/f mode you will know to back up. She can say something like "what shade of lipstick are you wearing" so that you will know right then that you crossed the line. Then do things together in groups or public places like going bowling, play darts in a club or something else that is fun and not of a romantic nature. Good Luck. Maybe she could introduce you to some single women. Just remember that you and your ex are no longer a couple and you need to call before you go over and don't get upset when she has plans and you aren't invited.
2006-12-05 08:01:06 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that your real intention isn't to get back with her in the future? Often people remain friends in the hopes of getting someone back at some point. Are you sure you can deal with her finding someone else and confiding with you along these lines? If yes, then you are truly able to be her friend.
My advice is to treat her like any other friend and be there for her in whichever way she needs. You cannot in any way bring up the past relationship or mention the two of you getting back together. It will probably just push her away once again. I personally would think that all of this would be extremely hard but if you think that you can then go to it.
2006-12-05 07:57:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you are asking the same question in a different way. If you love her, it is going to be difficult for you not to expect her back but that is exactly what you should do. Not to expect her to come back when she has broken up with you. As soon as she feels pressure, she will go away again and you two can't be friends. So, if you think you can be near her as purely friends, and talk with her without demands or expectations, go ahead... otherwise just give it sometimes so you can cool down a bit,
2006-12-05 07:56:10 · answer #4 · answered by ladysorrow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok if u guys r friends, u arent gonna tell her shes hot or anything sexual that u want from her lol (obviously) but with friends you talk about evrything, like how her day was, how yours was, if you or her have a problem u tell each other and try to help, you tell her about your girlfriend if she asks, and basically you just talk like youd talk to any other friend of yours, but dont be an idiot and say anything rude, if she meets a guy u be supportive and try to help as much as u can, but if she meets an idiot who u think isnt good, then let her know in the nicest way possible..be honest, and my bestfriend is a guy and he can just call and we fall asleep on the phone, sometimes we dont even have nething to say, but we just want someone to be with us at that time, so just knowing the other person is there makes me feel better. we'd also talk about funny stories about when we were small, we tease each other about little things we do (but not make fun and say your stupid) just teasing. and we tell each other things that happend during the day (like if someone did something dumb or funny) but mostly just be urself and hopefully you guys will be friends for a long time..:) youll know when the time comes. BEST OF LUCKK
2006-12-05 07:57:55 · answer #5 · answered by Gucci_xoxo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's easy being freinds with a girl especially an ex,if you broke up on good terms i dont see why it's a problem.
you will find it easy to find things to talk about you know what her interests are,she would'nt have completely fallen out of love with you they never do!''not after such a long relationship''.just try your best to be there for her and dont give up on her she may just need some time to work things through, you never know she may want you back in time. GOOD LUCK!
2006-12-05 09:11:19 · answer #6 · answered by NEIL C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Justs tick to general topics of conversation and steer clear of relationship, new partners or sex discussions. Do not talk about the past.
Just be supportive, listen to her, talk as normal. You'll get the hang of it. I had the same problem with my ex, and I thought it would be so diofficult to stay friends, but once you get the hang of the fact that you're just friends and nothing more you treat your ex like a normal mate.
2006-12-05 07:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by Leiani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to kick a person when they are down. It is nice of you to want to be there for her. You've been together for 4 years and you don't know what to talk about? Just be honest and be yourself. I'm friends with all my ex's...we don't hang out or anything, but I don't hate them. Just tell her what's been going on at work, with your family...have you seen any good movies, read any good books lately, just let nature take its course. You are a good man....they are hard to find.....there is someone out there that deserves you.
2006-12-05 07:59:00 · answer #8 · answered by Becky F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being a friend with a girl is very easily, all you will have to do is listen, understand and go out with her and show her some care about her study, work whatever situation that happens, but remember never show her that u r still in love with her, or that u care much for her and never mention anything about your old relation unless she mentioned it first, so in other words, you will still be her bf but without feelings and knowing that she might be spending times with others
2006-12-05 07:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by taryamma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! Just be yourself man! Don't pretend that you got over her already.Talk to her about anything except your feelings to her. Avoid mentioning your past. If she needs some shoulder to cry on, offer yours. Be there always if she needs help. Who knows, someday she will find out that she is falling inlove with you again....!
2006-12-05 08:53:56 · answer #10 · answered by agl463 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a period after the break up which is the hardest to get through and that's where your at. You need to find something else to do and leave her alone. If she does need you, she'll let you know and you can go from there.
2006-12-05 07:55:39 · answer #11 · answered by ropemancometh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋