2006-12-04 23:48:51 · 11 answers · asked by punk_forever90 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Read my latest question in poll surveys and give me an answer :):):
2006-12-04 23:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Health and Social Care is not a bad subject actualyy, ive jus started doin it
well depends what level - im doin level 3 u?
okay i ll make u laugh anyway:
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee'
The Unites States government has issued a recall on all cars and trucks that have a headlight dimmer switch on the turn signal switch. The purpose for this is to cut the traffic accidents at night by 90%. Apparently that the 90% that they plan to cut is from blonds, because they keep getting their foot stuck in the steering wheel.
STUPID DRIVING BLONDE JOKE
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
2006-12-05 07:52:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There once was a man from Nantucket, who found out his wife was...Oh, never mind.
A rude and mean donkey walks into a bar, bartender asks, "Why are you such an ***?"
How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they are too busy screwing the American Economy.
Today in the news, a woman lights a match on an airplane to mask her body odor. (True Story)
2006-12-05 07:53:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Saw this on Yahoo answers yesterday and thought it was quite funny.
What do you call 4 sheep tied to a lampost in Wales?
A leisure centre!
2006-12-05 07:51:19 · answer #4 · answered by Grizzly 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why did the blaonde change her baby's diaper once a week?
The box said "Up to 20 pounds"
2006-12-05 07:55:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How Blonde R U?
Scroll down
scroll up
2006-12-05 08:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by lou 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the one with no name - Shopping joke - should get best answer.
2006-12-05 13:43:36 · answer #7 · answered by Kizzy_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave
what do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
full.
Have you ever seen stevie wonders wife?
no, nor has he.
2006-12-05 07:59:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
I'm not having sex tonight either..but at least that bi atc h knows I'm smarter than her
2006-12-05 08:10:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
man caught in tesco stabbing the cornflakes packets, he has been arrested on suspicion of being a "cereal killer"!!!!
2006-12-05 07:55:09 · answer #10 · answered by sharon f 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋