my ex g/f of 4 years broke up with me 4 weeks ago i have tryed to contact her friends to find out if she is ok and tryed to find out why but come to no that she just fell out of love with me which is hard to accept but i have.I am a very shy person and can not see myself with anyone in the future at the moment but do not want to wait for my ex but i do but we have talked and agreed we are over and that we are freinds and if i have any problems apart from us or dealing with the break up i can talk to her or hang out etc; thing is her friend told me that "do not cut her off i don't want to build your hopes up but there could be a chance in the future shes just got problems to sort out at the moment(anarexica)so my mind is messed up i love her with all my heart and think i should give it a chance to see because if i don't i will regret it there are other women out there but this is the one for me i will move on but how do u stay friends how often do i call or meet her!!
2006-12-04 23:23:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The answer is not to call or contact her until she contacts you. Doing so before could make her wary of speaking to you as she might be afraid of leading you on. If she does have problems to resolve in her own life the reason she has cut you off is that she finds having you in her life is causing her pressure right now. This could have nothing to do with your actions but her impression of herself and the relationship as a whole.
When she does contact you, and she will... it seems like she needs you in her life... you can be there for her and show her that you will be there. Don't speak about missing her unless she does the same.
This doesn't mean that you should remove all emotion when dealing with her but you should be aware of things you say. Notice her problems and offer a shoulder without any reprocussions for her should she choose to cry on it.
You never know... she might love you yet!
Good luck!
2006-12-04 23:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by Johnny! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to give IT chance, I have been in that situation and believe me it depends on how strong the love you had was, sometimes when you are dealing with problems like anorexia you build a wall around yourself maybe she was hurt or insecure that is why she turned to anorexia and all you can do right now is just be her friend.
If she is going for counselling she will go trough major changes and emotions will flow up and she is going to need someone.
Be there, let her take her time,be her friend and be patient.
I n terms of friendship from love just call her now and then, ask her how she is,let her know you care but don`t be too invasive,see her maybe over weekends or tell her if she needs someone your line is open and you are there as Friends.
Maybe she will then later open up to you, it is hard to open up to someone with whom you have an emotional connection,and it sounds the usual scenario, I just fell out of love,is reflecting insecurity.
It is vital she know you care as a close friend, but most of all don`t question her as to what happened between you 2, if she is dealing with other things, as a hurt person acts like a filing cabinet, we file issues away and when we are ready deal with one at a time, you say she is dealing with other issues right now, let her do so and when she is ready she will explain.
Remember although to care,
2006-12-05 07:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by flavia d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you need to calm down. you can't show her that she means enough to make you do something stupid. call and contact her about 2 times a week. if she has problems then try to be there for her. the more you are there when she needs you the most the better, but at the same time you can;t be there forever. also, if its been 4 years then you should give the waiting a try. and if you do get her back then don't be a damn fool and get her a ring.
2006-12-05 07:28:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down, take a deep breath. You've only been split up for 4 weeks, there's no rush to these things. If there's a chance of reconciliation, take it slow and don't push anything too hard. IF there's no chance, don't panic about getting straight back out there - give yourself a decent times to get over her, there's NO rush to get back into a relationship.
2006-12-05 07:26:16 · answer #4 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like her friend says she is going through a tough time right now. Just give her space and in the meantime pray for her and be there when she needs a true friend to comfort her.
2006-12-05 07:27:43 · answer #5 · answered by sweetre2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave her alone and get over her mate.
dont stalk her cos that isnt helping you or her.
she might come back but you are a better person than that, move on get a new hobby move away something to get away from it, not easy but you need to leave her be, if she dumped you then it was for a reason.
2006-12-05 07:25:05 · answer #6 · answered by caroline17nov 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiya, i think u shud let her go if shes doing this to u, my b/f ex wife does the same as you keeps trying to get him bk, but she like has a go at me and trys getting me upset and feel guilty so i will end it with him and thts a fat chance, but no find sum 1 new and get on wiv ur life !
2006-12-05 07:26:39 · answer #7 · answered by Zoe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe once a week and see how it goes... otherwise just reduce it to once every two weeks so she doesn't feel pressurised.
2006-12-05 07:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by ladysorrow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋