why do guys get scared when it gets to actually having to date outside their race..?

Question

i have been in 2 interracial relationships now, they were short but they were nice while they lasted. Thing is i am an african, but am more attracted to white guys (essentially its "something new", just the opposite happening) but in canada here, it seems most guys would much rather jump off a burning bridge than date oustside their race, and when they do date they are always second-guessing themselves. They never seem confident, and if as a man you aren't confident i get turned off (quite easily). I can understand if he is uncertain and unsure, and i have read articles discussing interracial datings and what not, but if i make a commitment to date you and it doesn't bother me that your'e white then why can't the same be reciprocated...It's just so damn frustrating. Edmonton is huge but guys here say one thing and turn out to be completely different.....sometimes you want to scream out loud "GIVE ME A BREAK"....i donno just my thoughts on it.......would appreciate answers, thanks a lot

Answer 1

Unfortunately, that's just the effect that society has on some people involved in interracial dating. They have it in the back of their mind that some people are staring at me because I'm with this person of another race and they just can't get past it. There are so many interracial couples in so many different countries, but it seems like North America (including Canada) has the biggest problem with it. There are plenty of guys out there for you that would be comfortable with interracial dating, you'll just have to keep looking. Don't feel bad because there are so many people looking for that special someone within their own race and they still have trouble finding it, so just stay positive and it will happen.

Answer 2

I understand your aggravation. You'd think that in this day and age people wouldn't be so caught up on the race thing. I'm bi-racial and I still get flak whenever I date a white man.

I feel for you, but you just continue your search there ARE white males out there who are highly attracted to black women, or you could meet a guy like my bf who had never dated outside of his race before... but we fell in love and both damned the consequences.

Per haps you are looking for a specific kind of man and they are too into how they look, not what they feel. Give it more time and don't just date white guys, date all around and maybe you'll find a guy who has what you are looking for in a boyfriend... not just a physical attraction.

Answer 3

it would be easy if you were raised in a whit household i suppose... there is a lot to think of... i'm from South Africa and am also black... i've dated a lot of my race etc... in most of the relationships it just seemed growing fad for youngsters to date outside their race... everyone loves controversy, being gawked at at the malls etc. but i suppose for most it seems such a burden... a white guy would have to pay off thousands including cattle to my family to marry me, he'd have to go through two marriage ceremonies before the knot is tied... etc. some people are sensetive to the live slaughtering of animals... etc. who will have to give up customs for who or change customs etc... its not easy and it takes a strong love to conquer all that. who do you choose, you're love or your family...? what if the parents are still caught in the old way...? nothing in the world is ever fair... if as a young person these things cross your mind especially if a guy... its pretty hard. you're caught in a growth state and this is yet another load on you... hopefully you'll find matured white guy with a non racially tense family...

Answer 4

I think that you are dating the wrong guys, that's all. It's not color, I know lots of people in interracial relationships and when guys really want you they are confident about being with you.,and color doesn't come into play . Try going out with the type of guys you like who show interest in you first. If they approach you, go for it .

Answer 5

I think theyre afraid of something new, their not sure of how to treat you or deal with you, and chances are, they've never dated an African girl before, and all the reference they have are from MTV, which is a crummy reference. I guess, all you can do is just be patient, approachable/friendly and maybe you have to make it easier for them in dealing with you if they seem uncertain, maybe be more direct of what you want or all about.

Answer 6

all i can say is:
whaw you're so sweet darling, i'm so upset by what you said (that's not ironical, it's pure frankness)
sadly i can't help you with my personal experience (i date only chicks of my race) but my best friend (white male) is dating a black female right now, and actually at the beginning my buddy was not all that keen to go out with black girls. But things happen. the thing is that you must not provoke him by ranting about race stuff at all costs. he's not blind, he knows you'r black and he's white, just be oblivious to the race factor.
no despair, there must be people in your area, that is white males, who think the same way as you do and who are convinced that cool and ready-to-go black girls like you do not exist!!!
just be yourself
i guess i haven't helped you much... but i wish i really could

good luck darling

Answer 7

Why do you think of this is incorrect for persons to p.c. as much as now interior their race? everyone has own techniques. only by way of fact they locate one team extra bodily eye-catching would not advise they're racist in the direction of all different communities. Edit: so which you're saying you will possibly date a hispanic, or asian, or white guy if he had each and all of the "superb characteristics," even however you "LOVE BLACK adult males <3 and im proud to assert it"? no count if we p.c. to confess it or no longer, if actual attraction isn't present day, relationships tend to no longer paintings.

Answer 8

Mybe it has to do with culture differences, and it kinda affects the confidence of a person in communicating to the other from a different race.

Answer 9

there is more to than "color", there is also cultures and the others family to be taken into consideration. Its also like trying the same sex just to see if you like it, some do, some dont.

Answer 10

no idea, suppose its the way the world is portrayed someone who is worth it will show up, they werent meant to be if they left you.