when me and my boyfriend got together, he told me to keep our relationship secret.
I asked why but I got nothing but unclear asnwers until one day when he told me the truth: he has an OBSESSION FOR HIS EX (with whom he was together for only 2 weeks) then we split up but now he wants me back.
we are back together but he said I shold keep myself from falling in love with him for now as he doesn't know "what his
he kinda likes to be trourmented by his past. . .which I find strangely self-punishing and ill. I got to tell him the key is for him to really want to forget her and only he can have controll over this but I want to help him more.
please tell me: how can I cure him from this obsession so that the both of us can be happy?
thank you!
2006-12-04 23:18:18 · 12 answers · asked by porcelain heart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ummmmmm......I'm not sure that this bloke is good for you, or anyone, that isn't this EX of his. He seems distracted and incapable of even being solely with you. it sounds like he would bolt at the drop of a hat if this ex clicked her fingers.
Dump him and buy a new one.
2006-12-04 23:22:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Honesty? I don't think you can, the only thing you can do is try to be the bigger person in this situation. You've given him a second chance and he's still talking about this other girl?
Sounds like he likes the chase. The fact that he can't have his ex, makes him want her more. I agree its a little self-punishing but also incredibly stupid. Regretting what you've done is something that happens to all of us, but living in the past? ESPECIALLY for a 2 week old relationship!! I know you like him, but he seems to have no regard for your feelings or even respect the fact that YOU are here for him RIGHT NOW. In my world thats never worth it.
I say don't stand for it, tell him he can be tormented by the fact that your going to leave if he doesn't straighten up his act. Give him a week, then follow through with your threat and find a better man that can devote all of himself to you, and respect the amazing woman you are.
2006-12-04 23:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by moderncutthroat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you can be happy at the moment as a couple. By all means be there as a friend for him. He seems very needy if hes gotten so obsessed with someone after 2 weeks and if he ends up depending on you as a girlfriend, eventually the obsession will be turned on you.
The only thing that will help him is time.
2006-12-04 23:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man that values you and wants to be with you wouldn't ask you to keep your relationship secret. The time he was together with his ex is irrelevant - he has told you he isn't over her and he is clearly not ready to enter into another relationship.
You cannot change the way he thinks or feels. He is the only one who can do that. Ask yourself what you are gaining from being with this guy. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, not someone who is using you as a substitute.
2006-12-04 23:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by Lost and found 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a screwball...he is messing you around and yet you dont seem to mind at all. The more you put up with it, the more he will do. I dont think he wants to be happy, and he will bring you down with him. How can you be obsessed with someone you've only been with for 2 weeks? Not a good situation.
2006-12-04 23:23:56 · answer #5 · answered by teary chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but sounds a bit strange to me. I would leave him, then he would have no-one. Being in a relationship with someone who is constantly thinking of someone else is totally not worth it.
2006-12-05 00:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes we try to help the people we love, there some obessions that can not be helped, aperantly he has good feelings for u. he has told u the truth about how he feels and what u shld expect. his ex has a deep hook on him that it will take time for him to forget about.what u shld do is by being close to him frequently, that way he will be thinking more about u than her
2006-12-04 23:37:42 · answer #7 · answered by ijlafia2006 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He won't forget about her until he falls in love. Dump him and don't be his doormat. Find a guy worthy of your affection.
2006-12-04 23:25:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch him and find someone more worthy.
Some people revel in tragedy and flourish in a crisis, even if they have to create one themselves. It's due to self-loathing and insecurity and I hate to say it but if he's not happy with himself,. he can't make you happy either.
Sorry hun
2006-12-04 23:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's nuts ,get rid,too much emotional baggage,he'll make your life hell,get yourself a normal guy. Good luck.
2006-12-04 23:25:44 · answer #10 · answered by Pat R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋