My mum abandoned/ran away from my family 6years ago and is now trying to get in contact with me. She says she knows we all despise her but there is no way to erase the fact that she is our mother and we should forgive her.
Should I let go of the past and forgive and forget the heartache she has caused?
2006-12-04 23:14:01 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Long back I had gone to wedding and the anchor said to the wedded couple and blessed them by saying,no matter what,whether its thin or thick,near or far,ups or downs,bad or good,one should ''FORGIVE AND FORGET'' and move on whether its a husband wife relationship,parents children relationship,etc etc.
Yes of course you should forgive and forget about the past of what ur mom did to U because she is the one who has given birth to you to see this beautiful world god that made which is filled with love and hate, joy and sorrow,happiness and pain,etc etc.
And the most important thing is that you have been blessed to be born as an human through her womb and are very lucky to have a mother there for you who is yet alive.
Everyone does make a mistake,no ones perfect,if ur moms done mistakes help her to rectify it,maybe she has her reasons for have made this mistake,due to pressure,no love from spouse,etc ect you never know,and some times things are better off not to know.
Every person deserves a chance and espescially a mother yes Yes she definitely does!!!
2006-12-04 23:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by Dipi s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a parent leaves the family, children do feel a sense of abandonment - and this is totally understandable.
While you feel resentment towards her, it could be worth at least meeting her & hearing her out. Perhaps she had reasons for leaving that you might not be aware of. Or it could be that why she left will never make sense - without knowing you, I can't say.
Only you can choose whether you want to forgive her or not. But you won't ever know if you are able to do this or let go of the past, if you don't at least meet her & hear what she has to say.
I wish you luck. All the best.
2006-12-05 07:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by Monni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she want to get into contact now? Is she feeling guilty, and thinking about the Holidays? I would have a real hard time 'forgiving or forgetting'. I guess it depends on the situation and why she left in the first place. However, I'm a mom, I can't imagine under any circumstances leaving my child. She's right about the fact that you all probably do despise her, with good reason!
2006-12-05 07:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why she left? Maybe you need to hear her side of it. Not just because she is your mother but because she is a person and there is always two sides to every story. Forgiving is hard but if she is willing to try then you should be willing to give her a chance. You don't want to go through life without giving her this chance you will regret it the rest of your life. Just remember that there are reason why people do what they do. Find out why and then make a decision. You definitely need all the facts to make a good decision. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-05 07:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, u should forgive her and forget everything in the past and mend each others short comings..
start a new relationship with her as if nothing happen from the past,..
and everything will turn out pleasant
goodluck .....love her more and open ur heart
2006-12-05 07:51:47 · answer #5 · answered by 00_tyradjh_00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should at least be willing to listen to her side of the story. There are 2 versions to every story. I know you are hurt, but she is your mom so give her another chance to explain herself to you. It is very possible that she had your best interest at heart by leaving...you never know what she was dealing with at the time. Try to see your mom not just as your mom but as a person. I think it;s worth a try. I wish you luck.
2006-12-05 10:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough, tough question! It's sort of like that saying that you can choose your friends but not your family. You need to look deep into your heart and find out if you feel like giving her a second chance. If you're still so hurt and angry, give yourself some time. She has a lot of explaining to do, doesn't she?
2006-12-05 07:18:00 · answer #7 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should forgive her because, either you and other people around you might, any day, mistaken in your/their life. There is no way that somebody may not make a mistake in his/her life, especially nowadays. You have to..., it's your life, not somebody else's life, you never know what will happen after...!
2006-12-05 07:24:21 · answer #8 · answered by Jhonny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as i child i expirenced severe abuse from parents,especially my father it was more emotional than physical. i have horrible self esteem issues. i have forgiven my parents since then,but i cannot forget the abuse i have recently started seeing a counselor for the issues that i have from the abuse. i have forgiven them and love them,but i cannot forget the abuse and have chosen to break ties with them because i do not want to be apart of that environment.
2006-12-05 07:30:48 · answer #9 · answered by jennafurluv27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont harbor grudges but do make her work for your affection and respect,,she is your mum but in name only,,she must earn the right to be included in the family,,,,if she is truly sorry and feels strongly about making amends see what happens,,it may all work out,if it doesnt,well,at least you tried.
2006-12-05 07:23:00 · answer #10 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋