Can you ever get over losing a child?

Question

It has been forever, and the wounds won't heal.

Answer 1

Speaking as one who knows this pain, no I don't think you ever "get over it". What you learn to do is live again, and to look at the loss without having to feel the pain quite so much. When you are ready, you can let go of the pain you feel. That doesn't mean forgetting your child, it just means letting go of the pain. You need to remember the child, but you don't have to hold on the unpleasant and painful part of the memory. Allow yourself to celebrate the child's life, as short as it was, and to find joy in even the brevity of the gift. There is no magic date or time frame for this to happen, although as the months pass you should be able to put things in better perspective and be less focused on the pain part of it. If you need to, speak to professional or find a parents support group, speak to your pastor or priest, and certainly speak to your significant other/partner/spouse. You should support one another and share the loss and pain, not become isolated with it from one another, or from others.
We lost our angel daughter 13 years ago. I still ache for her, and I still feel the pain of the loss. But I don't focus on it, and it is less acute now than it was at first. We still mark her birthday, and wish her happy birthday. I still thank her for being mine, evenf for a short while, and for the happiness she brought me before she left us. We have her baby book, with the two ultrasounds, and all the cards, alongside those belonging to our other children. We give presents to Toys For Tots each year in her name. In short, we celebrate her life, rather than focus on the loss and what might have been. It's not perfect, but it works for us. I hope in time you are able to come to terms with your loss as well, and I wish you peace until you find your own.

Answer 2

Hi. Very sorry for your loss, but I think you will always miss your child. I don't think that is something you ever get fully over it. Losing a child is like learning to live with a broken heart. Some still cry even when it's been years.

I think if you talked to others who have been in the same situation as you that will help some. I'm sure there are support groups for this sort of thing.

Read your bible and pray. Trust in the Lord and go to church. WIth time, God can help ease your pain, He did for me.

Answer 3

I can not believe how Cold - hearted people on this site can be, saying to get over it...How does one get over it, Sure in time you will, the memories you will have forever, You may or may not believe in Heaven but I do, and I believe that you will once again be united with your child..But till then please remember that it takes time to heal but you will never ever forget,

It will just get easier to cope with the grief, Your baby is watching over you and being happy will allow your baby's soul to be happy.

I am so sorry for your loss...But remember YOU WERE BLESSED TO HAVE HIM/HER no matter how long it was for, there was a reason to why he/she was born and had to die so early, One day your questions will be answerd.

Please take care and once again ignore the comments of people here that tell you to get over it....if you need to talk more about it then email me...I have a heart not like some heartless people here.

God Bless

Answer 4

Believe me, I know how you feel. I was married for several years without getting pregnant and tried ivf several times till I finally got pregnant. However, I miscarried in the third month. What made it worse was the fact that this baby had been a dream for such a long time. If it was not for my faith in God I don't know what I would have done. It is absolutely true that God works in mysterious ways because just before another ivf attempt, I discovered that I was pregnant. So, 6 years after getting married I now have a beautiful daughter. I'm trying to get her a brother or sister, and I just had another miscarriage a few months ago. I was deeply depressed and gained 16 pounds but again, my faith in God helped me a lot.The pain never really does go away, but you learn to live with it and things do get better. Just turn to God, pray that He does what is best for you and occupy yourself with anything to get your mind off your troubles.

Answer 5

No you cannot get over losing your child.
How did you lose your child?
My experience has been in Pro Life advocacy and the women I meet who have aborted children, some as many as 22 years ago, STILL suffer the aftermath.
I can offer you help through abortion recovery, if this is the case with you.

Answer 6

No you can not.
But you should not, because that child is a part of you.
Emotionally, Spiratually and Phisically.
It is the gift that was given to you, and even though it was taken away you should remember it forever but try to move on emotionally because there is no way to get it back.
sorry for your loss
but the child is probably in a better place

Answer 7

no!! you can never get over losing a child but it gets a lot easy i lost a child about 15 weeks ago i am now 7weeks pregnant with twin and this has help me i haven't forgot but it has eased the pain I'm sorry about you loss

it does get easier i promise just take one day at a time xx

Answer 8

the wounds will never heal but it does get easier with time it has been nearly 2 yrs scince we lost my baby brother and i still cant talk about it without gting upset.
i wish you all the best for the future and it will get easier.

Answer 9

Get over it? No. Learn to live with the pain? Yes. Its your child. You'll always miss that person in your life. But you are still alive. Don't walk around like a corpse. The child wouldn't want it. The rest of the family lost the child too, not just you. Miss them, mourn them, but please don't check out on life.

Answer 10

I dont think you will ever GET OVER it, but your wounds will get smaller and smaller. Try going to a professional and talking about it. Do you celebrate annaversaries?