I'm 45 years old, single male, raising a now 12 year old boy. What irks me is I hear women say "there are no nice guys out there, yet my son's mom didn't want a guy who was raising her son, going to work AND going to school at the same time. She seemed to prefer guys who had money, were just plain jerks, and is now married to a struggling screenwriter. Nothing against screenwriters, but what gives? I wanted to marry her, maybe she wasn't ready, blah, blah. But the next time I hear some woman say that there are no nice guys out there, it will be all I can do to hold my tongue. I've been looking for maybe ten years now, and all I find are women who are so in love with some guy who treats them like crap. Has our society degraded to the point where women are being raised by abusive dads, and they think this is love? I would really like an answer to this one. I've asked women, men, everyone.
2006-12-04 22:08:36 · 10 answers · asked by BobC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You strike me as really bitter which I am sure seeps out when you talk to women and that bitterness is not seen as "nice" to us.
2006-12-04 22:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
The tough guy is a mystery and that is a big attraction... Someone we can't figure out. I think as women get older they really learn to appreciate the nice guy. Sometimes you can blame it on the dad but not always. Maybe the chick just wasn't in love with you. As far as there not being any nice guys in the world. Men and women both have degraded ALOT. and another thing you are not alone in this.. Nice girls have the same problem, men like bitches and we can't figure it other anymore than you can. I think what it boils down to is that no one wants a "yes" person. They want someone who is as strong as they are, self esteem and can voice and stand up for what they want. Doormats are just boring
2006-12-05 06:13:25 · answer #2 · answered by dumpllin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're making the very common mistake of assuming that women say exactly what they mean.
No no no. Women are not men. I repeat, women are not men.
Men say things and they check to see and verify the authenticity of the words that they utter. Women do not communicate in this way. The same way men are not built to communicate their feelings, women are not built to communicate "facts."
Assuming this has something to do with "society" is also a mistake. There's a whole buttload of material out there that explains very well the deep BIOLOGICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL reasons women find "jerks" hot and "nice guys" boring (cuz quite frankly, all you nice guys ARE boring). The trick is taking the PARTS of the jerk that are attractive and applying them to who you genuinely are. Really, all it comes down to is finding out what compoments comprise a masculine man. And if you're asking this question, that means you haven't figured it out yet.
2006-12-05 06:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by JudasHero 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WELL, that is the question and let me tell you I would love an answer to. I have just broken up with my girlfriend because she found me to nice and I smothered her. Her last boyfriend use to beat her.
So I think the media is a little to blame - every romantic movie is about a bad boy that the female lead changes to be theit prince.
Also girls want someone to protect them and maybe nice guys aren't perceived as someone that can.
And who knows why else. Maybe girls have been hurt in the past and keep going out with abusive guys because it reaffims their opinion of all males... I could ramble forever but hopefully you get the drift
2006-12-05 06:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by jetli1333 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Society sucks I know alot of really nice guys but what I think the answer to your question may lay in confidence. Bad boys exude that extra bit of confidence the"Nice Guy" more than not doesnt show. It kind of shows that animal alpha male thing women believe confidence transfers into manliness. Thats the closest I can figure anyway took me alot of jerks and nice guys to settle with the nice guy hubby I have now
2006-12-05 06:14:06 · answer #5 · answered by Kara B 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That is good question. Is the draw to the bad boy just for excitement? Is it our need to nurture someone? Do we like the challange? Is it like you say, we don't think we deserve to be treated like a lady?
I think we ( women and men alike) are all like timid scared rabbitts and are afraid to get our hearts broken. Wouldn't it be grand to have open hearts ( a home), to be a source of warmth, comfort, support and trust of our inner most feelings and desires for one another? ( A soft place to land in this crazy world)
Am I a dreamer? Can this actually be possible in this day and age? I sure hope so. : )
Keep looking...wishing for you to find a heart, a home, a soft place to land for you and your son.
2006-12-05 06:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by no cutesy name : ) 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is an interesting question. I suspect the reasons vary from woman to woman.
Some probably genuinely enjoy being treated like crud.
Others do it so that they have one more thing to talk about.
2006-12-05 06:30:38 · answer #7 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YOu just said it, our society has degraded to the point where women seek out the kind of man who was most like their father. So if their father was a jerk thats how they think all men are supposed to be. Sad, but I think its true.
2006-12-05 06:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It really sucks,let me know when you find out
2006-12-05 06:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
is it??but i don't think so..
2006-12-05 06:10:36 · answer #10 · answered by talla 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋