He is working , but i earn more money than him . He always asks me to buy him stuff. How can i stop him without hurting his feelings . I do buy him a lot of stuff ,pays for the bills , but he keeps on asking for more things .
2006-12-04 21:28:59 · 24 answers · asked by mommy2be 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You just need to sit him down and explain that he has a job and that you pay the bills so his money is his and your money is yours and that he needs to accept that. Tell him you want a boyfriend not a dependant.
2006-12-04 21:35:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look up the word gigolo in the dictionary, and recognize that you have a boyfriend who appears to fancy being one.
Sadly, you may have brought this onto yourself by bragging about how well you are doing financially. Men who want to live off women, and consider doing so to be something to be proud of, are always of the lookout for someone who is doing well financially.
You can determine where his head is by making up a story for him. Tell him that your employer is running into difficult times, and that he has explained that to survive, the company has to either lay off a large number of people, or ask everyone to take a large cut in pay. Tell him that everyone voted to take a cut in pay rather than possibly lose their jobs. Explain that you are now making less money than he is, will no longer be able to buy him things, and, unfortunately, you'll have to count on him to pay some of the bills from now on, or at least until the company you work for gets back on its feet and can afford to increase rates of income back to the old levels.
Then explain how much money is needed to pay all the bills, and ask him how much he can contribute. If he values your relationship, he'll be receptive to helping out. The minimum he should offer is to pay half of the household bills. And by housefold bills, I mean rent, utilities, groceries. Personal stuff such as clothing and car payment are not included. If he's just using you, and would leave you if he found someone who made more money than you do, he'll object to contributing. Either way, your eyes will then be wide open. What you do after that is up to you.
2006-12-05 12:23:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set up a bank account that every month you both but in the same amount, making sure it covers all you expenses (eg: phone, heat and hydro, and food)And a little extra for entertainment. like if your expenses were $500 a month then but in $250 each, just for a example. Then want every you have left over from you pay, put it in your bank account, Teach him to work with a budget now, You cant be paying for every thing, his just taking advantage of you that way. He should be understanding of it, if not he has made it clear to you that his using you for money. and that's not the way it should be, in that cause cut him off completely!
2006-12-05 05:40:45 · answer #3 · answered by Lara <:(((>< 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to "nip it in the bud" before it gets out of hand. It sounds like it is getting out of hand all ready. You are not married, so you do not have to do anything. Tell him you are not going to spend money on unnecessary things. You are saving money for bigger things that are needed. Put it into a savings account. He is the man and he shouldn't be asking the woman to for money, especially when he isn't married to her. That, to me, should be shameful to him. You just have to tell him, hurt feelings or not. Tell him you want to save money and you are not spending it on extras. You already pay the bills and he needs to start contributing. It takes teamwork to be in a relationship and you are starting to see a one sided relationship in the financial part, and it will not last when there is a strain put on one partner. You need to sit down and put together a financial plan for important and not important things, expectations, etc. Best wishes to you.
2006-12-05 05:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an interesting question. If it were the other way around (more affluent guy payming most bills buying treats) then many people would think "that's the way it should be".
Paintball kindly illustrating my point - thinking the poorer person ought to be paying most of the bills / buying treats - just because the poorer person is male.
Perhaps he just does the whole equality thing a bit too equally? ;)
2006-12-05 05:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by Mark T 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask him what he is to you... an equal partner or a child. If he's an equal partner than he pulls his fair share and pays his own way. If he wants presents and looking after and to have you buy him stuff then he is clearly wanting a parent not a partner.
Sweety, you can do better than that!
2006-12-05 05:39:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your the one that let him think your the First National Bank. The fact that you earn more money has nothing to do with Mr. Moocher. Do you have to buy a guy? There are men that just like taking a woman's money, she doesn't have to be rich they just do it because she let's him.
2006-12-05 05:34:18 · answer #7 · answered by Conrey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa. Your money is not his. You're not married to him...plus you should buy him stuff mainly on special occasions like his birthday, etc. But other than that, if he keeps asking for more things, just say no. He's working so if he wants to buy stuff he should save his own money to purchase things.
2006-12-05 05:31:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not worry about his feelings because to be honest it sounds like he is not really concerned about yours. He sounds irresponsible and spoilt. He could find a way to supply himself with the things he needs (laybye) . To be truthfully honest he is not the one for you as relationships need to be one of equality and it doesn't sound to equal if you are paying for the majority of things my dear and you are concerned of how to change this. Things need to be half and half if you want it to work and the only reason you would be paying for the majority of stuff is if he were not working (but he is) so forget about worrying how to handle it so you do not hurt his feelings, just tell him honestly you are not comfortable with it and you will not be giving him money anymore, he may get the shits with ya and whinge and ***** and you may break up over it but if he is meant for you and he is mature enough to understand you are correct in what you are doing then he will understand accept and become more responsible. You need to save money for your future etc and use it wisely not on stuff he wants. He needs to provide for himself more and that will improve his level of self esteem and he may eventually gain the ability to earn more to cover his lifestyle needs. Good luck and please never fear telling people the truth if it's going to make you feel better. You owe it to yourself and to him to be honest other wise you will end up resenting him for it and you are the one in control of your money (you just gotta make better choices) for yourself. Good luck.
2006-12-05 05:42:57 · answer #9 · answered by clarissa l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen sweety - you don't owe him a dime.
You guys aren't married
You don't have to buy him things
Resist pressure - Stand up to him
You are not a sugar momma
You need to evaluate why he feels the need to take advantage of you and why you feel the need to spare him hurt.
Hunny, all you have to do is say NO practice in the mirror - it works wonders.
2006-12-05 05:33:49 · answer #10 · answered by Sasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋