Brothers and sisters in Christ what does the bible say about ......?

Question

What one should do if your spouse had kids from an adulterous affair.Is this something that we are supposed to forgive and forget?

Answer 1

It is supposed to be divine to forgive but I can imagine how hard that must be.
Funnily enough I was the result of an affair, and when I was unable to live with my mother, I went to live with my dad (his wife took him back)
and I have nothing but respect for her, as she took in another womans child knowing it was the result of an affair, and she loved me and treated me as her own.

I think its a very brave and courageous thing to forgive in those circumstances.

Answer 2

That's difficult... .It is obvious that it is something that is working in your heart... and probably have been there for a while...... You just have not figured out how to handle it with comfort because it is not a comfortable thing to consider......

Are you absolutely certain that the child is not your?.... would be my first question..... If you are certain, then be certain.... But, if you doubt, then learn the truth!

In this day, adulterous affairs CANNOT be handled the way they did in the old testament.....

If one utilizes the New Testament, Christ says if there is a means of divorce, let a man divorce his wife, only on the basis of adultery....... Let him give her a certificate of divorce......

That is what it says.......

But, if you ar thinking harm, I'd say, stop thinking that!!!!......You will cause more problems than you need right now!!!!.

Learn the truth!!! and learn to move on...... If you can forgive, then forgive......

But, if you cannot live with this..... then give her a certificate of divorce and move on.......

I say, learn to forgive...... so that you will be forgiven of the things you thought you would have been forgiven for but may not because you've forgotten...... or did fail to ask...... forgive and get the evil out of your heart!!!!


your sister,
Ginger

Answer 3

My brother, if what you say is true, then protect your spouse and conceal this matter instead of exposing it to your friends and acquaintances. If you are in love with each other, and if one of you committed a mistake then repented, why do you want to disgrace you spouse and also your own self, and also all your children? Did not Christ forgive your sins and made you righteous before the Thrown of God. Truly I say to you if you conceal this shameful and perhaps unintentional act done by your spouse perhaps by mistake, you would earn the forgiveness of God and be rewarded for having a forgiving heart. The worst thing you can do is to keep thinking of this mistake and cause a broken hearts and miserable life to your family. Forget the past and look for the future. Divorce is the worse thing you could do. You would expose your spouse and yourself to shame and put your children to a very hard situation that can result in much worse future-situation, and then live the rest of your life without peace or joy or even forgiveness from the Lord who died on the cross for your sins and the sins of your spouse. Don't feel jealous for what happened in the past. Are you living a happy life now? Why ruin you family which you have raised to reach where you are now? Why ruin yourself for something every body did in the past. Do you think that there are two couples living together now who never had indulged in sex with some one else other than their spouse? I assure you that such condition doesn't exist except among retarded people or those whose conscious is dead. Erase the thought from your mind; forgive your spouse and engage in loving one another, and praise the Lord who also forgave both of you. Let me ask you just one question: Haven't you really tried sex before your marriage? Is your spouse free of sin of adultery and you are not. Christ said "If you desired some one in your heart, then you have committed an adultery." Is it only your spouse who tried sex with a person other than you in the past? Let me answer the question for you; no my brother, it isn't true, and you are as guilty as your spouse. The only difference is that when you sinned you were lucky for not impregnating the one you committed adultery with. Love your spouse and forgive, and you will find out that no one will love you more than your mate. There is a statement in the Bible about forgiveness; although Christ said that you can only divorce your wife on account of only adultery, but He never said that you can marry another time. You must be separated for ever until He/She dies then you are free to marry again. Also, Paul emphasized the virtue of forgiveness in cases like this. He said if you can forgive, then you would be extremely blessed. God despises divorce and loves people who stick together and raise a happy family that put their trust and care under His hand. Forget the past my brother and don't make another mistake. Love each other and raise a God fearing family and receive God's blessings. Look at those who are willing to pay millions to raise an adopted child that belongs to a different family. You can't believe the joy they receive when they raise an adopted girl or boy. You on the other hand think exactly the oppsite; you want to ruin the blessing that God had bestowed upon you. Love your spouse and give thanks to God. One day you heart will be filled with great joy and you will leave this world with a peaceful mind to join those who also had a forgiving heart.

Answer 4

I think the question should be, Did you know this before you married? or is this somethimg that happened after you married ? Adultry is one thing the Bible dose say that you can be released from a marraige, but not matter if you stay with that spouse or not, the Bible teaches forgivnes for all things, but our nature is to cling to hurts and its hard to forget, but if in your haert you can forgive, the forgetting will be eaiser,, The Bible is full of scripture against adultry and fornacation
1 Cor 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
A married person who commits fornication also commits adultery. Jesus said this in Matthew 19:1-10. In this text Jesus said a man could not put away his wife (he is married to a wife): except she commit fornication with someone outside her marriage covenant. If a wife cannot commit fornication Jesus could not grant a divorce for it! If there can be a divorce for a wife's fornication evidently the meaning of fornication as "sexual immorality" can be applied to married persons.

Answer 5

That is something you have to work out, If you want your spouse that commited adultry, then you have to forgive them. But if your heart has harden, do what Moses said, give that spouse a writing of divorcement, You will be free to remarry again, But for the childrens sake, I would try to work it out, But if can't do that then aleast help provide for those children & best yet make the father of them pay their way through life.

Answer 6

I must say, it is difficult. I have not gone through it myself, but my mother and aunt have, I was there through it all for both of them.

For my mother, the affairs were more than once. There were even children, twins, as a result of an affair. She said she had forgiven him and will not divorce as that is not what the Lord would love for His children to do. She stayed for 8 years. Then she finally divorced him last year becuase she realised that she hadn't forgiven him for that one and is finding it hard to forgive the oone to follow. She has now asked me to pray for her to learn to forgive as the Lord forgives us for anything and everything.

Then comes people like my aunt. She forgave her husband and accepted the child, who was then about 10 years old. It was so hard and painful, but she and all of us prayed for all involved. In turn, her husband accepted the Lord as his saviour and was saved. If you could see him now, he is so devoted to God and his wife and family. They are so happy.

These are just 2 people, but believe me, there are many more that I know that have gone through it. Pray and don't stop praying. God loves you and didn't bring you in this world to be hurt. Disappoint the devil you thinks he can ruin a union created by God. I will be praying for you too.

Forgetting, well, that's just the human mind, we won't forget. We don't really forget significant periods in our lives. You will look back to it and be thankful to God that He was with you through it and fought the devil for you.

God Loves you my sister.

Answer 7

Forgiveness for a Christian is not an option. Forgetting is another matter.
I Cr 13;8a
12-5-6

Answer 8

Adultry is the only Biblical reason for divorce. Once your spouse commits adultry, your free to leave them and remarry. You must still forgive them, but that does not mean that you must stay married to the person. It only means that you no longer hold the offense against them.

Answer 9

We forgive 70 x 7 times, Jesus said.

You are called to love, to life of forgiveness. you are called to love the children, love your wife, etc - this is not to ignore what happened but it is to recognize how much God has forgiven YOU of.

to forgive and forget is not easy. As a matter of fact, it is impossible.

But that is exactly what we are called to do. It makes us to turn to God, because we cannot do anything without God's help and His work in our own hearts.

So as you yield to God, as you confess your weakness and unforgiveness to God, He comes and gives help, He changes you, He puts His forgiveness into your heart and then you are able to forgive and forget.....

There is much more to say... email me if you would like....

God bless!!!

Answer 10

marriage counselling, make every effort to resolve the problem, divorce is a last resort. i dont really believe in divorce but if the marriage vows are broken its a void marriage anyways right? unless you both can come together and fix it with every effort, and this is advice coming from an unmarried & never been married person, pray that you make the right decision in what you choose to do :)