hey i really need help! plz pplz!?

Question

sorry for the repost but i really need help. i cant leave him i love him 2 much. i just dont know how long i can take this. is this common ? i love him very much and he loves me and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. the problem is hes mexican and puerto rican and im white and black and apparently his parents dont like the fact that their last son is in love with a black girl. they are blatanly mean to me and i dont know how to get used to something like that. im never welcome and he says he will take care of it but i seriously doubt it. the ex mammas boy says hes changed but i dont know what to believe. im not sure i can take much more of this. ive never been disrespectful to them and the rest of his family(except for the ones who come down from puerto rico) likes me. i need answers fast because i cant really take their insults any longer. they make me so sad and i really love my boyfriend and could never leave him. please answer me on this or email me. ty in advance

Answer 1

Girl just ignore them. If you really love him like you say you do then nothing can stop that and nothing shouldn't. I know it might make you feel uncomfortable but you just have to be stronger about the situation and let it go. Brush the none sense they are bringing between you and him right off your shoulders and keep on going. When you love someone you will do what ever it takes to keep that person in your life so if you really love him then so be it.

Answer 2

Your boyfriend needs to step up.
I just wouldn't go around them.
If he wants to go around them then let him but tell him that you are not going around them until he says something.
I would think about it long and hard before I got married because I don't see it getting any better.
It may get worse if you have kids. They could be mean to them or talk to them about you.
Sometimes it is best to let the one you love go for the both of you to have a some sunshine.
It is hard to let someone go that you love but think about it.
Do you want to live that way forever and have him torn between you and his family.
Just think about it honey.

Answer 3

Sounds like a classic case of complicated circumstances. Both you and your boyfriends' mum are putting pressure on you BF to choose between you 2. If you really have nothing against the people you claim hate you for the colour of your skin (or whatever) go to them and talk to them directly.

Approach your BF's mum face to face, and make it a surprise. Act like you didn't know you were going to "run into her", but say that now that you have you've been wanting to ask her something important, and if you could sit down with her and talk. Don't take no, later, or goodbye for an answer. Stay in her face and make it obvious this mystery subject you want to talk to her about is vitally important and urgent.

When she finally yields, say whatever you can to calm her down and postpone explaining what it was you wanted to talk about. flatter her, compliment her, apologise to her, whatever. Just stall for as long as possible. Once she's comfortable in your presence (without realising it), bring up her son, your boyfriend, as if it were part of the natural direction of the conversation. flatter and compliment a bit more about how good her boy is, and make it all about her relationship with him, then slowly bring yourself into her subconsious picture of family. Then apologise for forgetting what it was you wanted to talk to her about and leave quickly and humbly, mumbling about something your late for. As your leaving, accidently leave something important of yours with her, in a place she won't see, then go back a few minutes later and ask for it back, apologising again, and saying how nice it was to have had the talk.

MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL:
10% of your communication is the words you use.
30% is tone of voice.
70% is body language!!!! So when your apologising, look apologetic(lower eyes, frown, contract limbs, & bow head slightly)
! When acting surprised, look surprised (raise eyebrows, gasp, lose balance & maybe stumble, forget her name momentarily, etc). If your going to act, it has to be convincing! If your not acting, it is even more important to be convincing!!!!

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Your welcome for the advice Neona. The best way to console your boyfriend about him thinking you don't trust him is to talk to him, lots, about your current moment thoughts and feelings. pay particular attention to your feelings, because you can trust them more than your thoughts (I'm always second guessing my thoughts, and if I can't trust my own mind how can I expect anyone else to?? But I always trust my gut and heart and thier almost always right.). So speak from your gut and heart, and express it in a way that could not posibly be misinterpreted by following the KISS rule:
Keep It Short & Simple.
basic language that a child could understand is a good rule of thumb too, because adults have formed habits like making assumptions, jumping to conclusions, blowing things out of proportion and making mountains out of mole hills.
This is god advice when talking to just about anybody actually, but most important when emotions are involved and stakes are high.

Good luck. May peace and light be with you, and always enjoy your awareness of the eternal moment of now. It's the only time you have to make a difference.
"Be the person you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi

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