So, I've been in love with this girl since the moment I saw her. And, to save all of you kind people some time, I'll fast forward eight years. I'm still in love with her. We are easily best friends.
I told her in high school my feelings, and of course, her reply wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. Yup, got the friend speech. But we've maintained our relationship and have stayed very close over all these years. We're now actually in our mid-20s. She has actually been married and has since divorced about a year ago.
So here's my question, my fellow yahoo question enthusiasts, what do I do? I'm in a state in my life right now that rejection, especially coming from this girl, would absolutely devestate me. I've loved this girl for eight years of my life and her giving me another let's be friends speech for the rest of our lives, would be more than a rejection. I just don't know what to do anymore.
2006-12-04 18:53:29 · 22 answers · asked by YeahThatsRight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
- Don't be affraid of a refusal. go and explain about your true feelings.
2006-12-08 17:34:07 · answer #1 · answered by Z O R R O 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's been divorced only a year ago so perhaps you should think about whether she's ready for a new serious relationship. What's obvious is that you should let her know that your feelings about her hadn't changed a bit since high school and that if ever she's ready for a serious relationship, for her to consider being with you.
After telling her this, don't be too eager. Continue the friendship you had with her and be there for her when she's in dire need.
In this case, you gotta be tough. It might cause devastation for you if she rejected you but you should think in this way - that if you don't try now, you'll never know the outcome. Lets be positive here, alright? You seem like a very sweet guy :) She would be losing out on a person who's quite dedicated to her and hopefully, she would realise that soon enough.
Good luck!
2006-12-05 03:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by *~liYana~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a fool to not have picked a guy like you in the first place! How many guys hold on this long - when the girl is saying it's just "friendship?" I wouldn't ask her to marry you until the time is right - it can take alot of time to get over a divorce and move on and you just need time and patience. I hope she opens her eyes - hello you were right there all the time! If she married you in the first place - her life wouldn't be all mixed up now! If she says no to you at this time in her life that would be normal - so don't feel totally rejected if she turns you down if you go in to start something more right now. You need the right timing.
2006-12-05 02:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ah love at first sight. That's nice.
Ok, your question...Do u tell her or not? well...That really depends on a few things:
1. What would u do if u two start dating?
2. Does she have anyone in mind?
3. Have u asked her how she feels recently?
4. Are u willing to take the risk? (this is the important one)
well u never know, she might feel the same...To be honest, i dunno, im not a psychic.
u can try jokingly ask her whether she's interested at dating people or not. Because she might not be ready to start dating again. Try that and decide from there.
From what u wrote, seems like you two are pretty close already, Do u want to stay this way? If not and if she does want to start dating, its your turn to say your speech.
2006-12-05 03:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by perfectly_messy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you really love her and you know she could make you happy, be open for rejection things might go really really bad and she might say no but the point here is you tried,i once loved a man that way and i finally told him what i felt inside, i was rejected all right and it hurts until today but then i was set free i moved on and im sad at times when i do remember the rejection but im comforted by the fact that i did my part, -whatever the outcome might have been-
2006-12-05 03:03:26 · answer #5 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her and then hold on to your chair because you may get rejected. You have to say how you feel and be able to walk away with or with out her. The most important person you will ever have is just you. You need to know that or else life is just subjective.
2006-12-05 02:57:31 · answer #6 · answered by evilive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go for it. Tell her how you feel and be prepared for anything. She may discover that her friendship may be more than she thought and open up to the idea of trying a romantic relationship. However she may continue the plight of good friends. Whatever you do, make sure that you don't regret the decision you make. You only have one life and no one is promised tomorrow.
2006-12-05 03:03:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her. Because if you don't this is going to be on your mind until you do. So its better to be rejected then not to know the true feelings of someone. I know its a little scary, but chances are she may feel the same. You can't be afraid in this world. No matter what faces you, you need to take risks. If not your always going to in constant fear of losing. Do it, do it now! You'll either thank or hate me later. Either way it will be a load off your heart and mind.
2006-12-05 03:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by Bambi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's hard but you know you what you should do.
Tell her, if she rejects you, then move on and accept the truth.
And hey, you're a guy. Rejection is hard coming from a person you love but you're a guy and it's normal for girls to turn down guys. Lots of girls in the world. Face the truth and move on.
I am a girl and I've been told straight out by the guy I'm in love with that 'NOTHING WILL HAPPEN, ON MY PART, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. STOP TALKING TO ME." and the guy is my friend and i'm a girl so it really really hurts.
2006-12-05 03:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs Brandon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok coming from someone who is now best friends with their HIGH SCHOOL ex... I couldn't dare think of hooking up with my ex/best friend. I would never in a million years want to lose him. I love him entirely too much and couldn't bare the thought of ruining that. It has gone on too long, 20 years we grew up together - like you did. So much is at stake- Trust me you are waaaaay too important to her for her to want to lose you over love that might not develop for her. Just the other day MINE told me that he was still in love with me and couldn't stop hugging me I had to pry him off with a crowbar- j/k- but the thing is I had to just let him get it out and recognize those emotions. I had to let him know that he just means too much to me to ruin it with romance!
Good luck!
2006-12-05 03:06:58 · answer #10 · answered by ANALISE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what signals she is giving out. Is she more flirty than she was 8 years ago? Does she touch you more (on the leg or arm)? Does she talk about other guys to you? You are risking your friendship if you say something. Not that you shouldn't, but look for signs first.
2006-12-05 03:05:45 · answer #11 · answered by arzachel81 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋