HELP...my 2 year old rarely listens to me, or he does after being asked a million times to do?

Question

something...half the time he ignores me.
If I say no, he will just do what he wants.
When we are in public, he acts up, by either crying,screaming,whining or kicking.
Since I cant beat his *** in public without someone thinking its child abuse...what do I do?
I dont want to have to leave the store either, time is not on my side.
Ideas???

Answer 1

He's 2. You don't need to beat him. How does that work on a 2 year old? Duh.

Answer 2

Ask him to do it once. If he doesn't do it, impose a consequence (and no I don't mean beating). For example with my little girl if she doesn't put her toys away I do it for her (in a place she can't get them). If she won't put her shoes on I get them and put them on her feet. If she won't come when I tell her it's time to go (and after I give her a warning that it will be time to leave in five seconds and count to five) I pick her up and carry her. If she cries she cries. She knows that acting up is not going to change what I do, so she rarely does it. There is a difference between crying to throw a fit and crying out of genuine disappointment or sadness. I empathize with the latter and ignore the former.

It sounds like stores are an issue for you guys. There are tons of consequences you can impose in stores without having to leave (though leaving is a good last resort). We always talk about expectations before we go in if I have any reason to be concerned that she won't behave. If he starts grabbing things, make him put his hands in his pockets (or fold his arms if he has no pockets) for the rest of the time in the store. If he runs away or won't come with you, you make him hold your hand. If that doesn't work you carry him or put him in a cart. You have to do this stuff and continue to do it no matter how much or how loudly he protests and every time. I will tell you I am never embarassed by my daughter screaming in public because people can tell I am handling it. I would be embarassed if she was obviously walking all over me in public because I was afraid of her yelling. And for the most part my daughter behaves beautifully wherever we are because discipline is immediate, consistent, and fair. Violence, yelling, or threats about what is going to happen later do not work with 2-year-olds. You have to make something happen right now. So if he yells in the store even telling him no candy when you leave is pointless because 1. it's too far in the future and 2. he's already lost the candy so what's the point.

Do not threaten things you are not absolutely ready to follow through on. Always be consistent. And you have to make parenting the most important thing you are doing, more important than getting your shopping done. Make sure he knows that if he acts up anytime, anywhere, there will be consequences and they will be immediate. You can't do this by telling him that- just make them happen. And praise good behavior lavishly. Even if the good behavior is as simple as coming with you when you ask when you can tell he wanted to stay.

Answer 3

The main problem with children is how to live with them. The adult is the problem in child raising, not the child. A good, stable adult with love and tolerance in his heart is about the best therapy a child can have.

The main consideration in raising children is the problem of training them without breaking them. You want to raise your child in such a way that you don’t have to control him, so that he will be in full possession of himself at all times. Upon that depends his good behavior, his health, his sanity.

Children are not dogs. They can’t be trained like dogs are trained. They are not controllable items. They are, and let’s not overlook the point, men and women. A child is not a special species of animal distinct from man. A child is a man or a woman who has not attained full growth.

Any law which applies to the behavior of men and women applies to children.

How would you like to be pulled and hauled and ordered about and restrained from doing whatever you wanted to do? You’d resent it. The only reason a child “doesn’t” resent it is because he’s small. You’d half murder somebody who treated you, an adult, with the orders, contradiction and disrespect given to the average child. The child doesn’t strike back because he isn’t big enough. He gets your floor muddy, interrupts your nap, destroys the peace of the home instead. If he had equality with you in the matter of rights, he’d not ask for this “revenge.” This “revenge” is standard child behavior.

Self-determinism is that state of being wherein the individual can or cannot be controlled by his environment according to his own choice. In that state the individual has self-confidence in his control of the material universe and other people.

A child has a right to his self-determinism. You say that if he is not restrained from pulling things down on himself, running into the road, etc., etc., he’ll be hurt. What are you as an adult doing to make that child live in rooms or an environment where he can be hurt? The fault is yours, not his, if he breaks things.

The sweetness and love of a child is preserved only so long as he can exert his own self-determinism. You interrupt that and to a degree you interrupt his life.

There are only two reasons why a child’s right to decide for himself has to be interrupted – the fragility and danger of his environment and you. For you work out on him the things that were done to you, regardless of what you think.














,

Answer 4

That's what 2 year olds do. He's testing you. Remember, you are the mom, he's the child. Beating him is not the answer. Don't parent from across the room, it doesn't work with this age. Get up, go to him, tell him firmly no, that is not acceptable behavior. If he continues, put him in a time out or have him stand against the wall. At his age, time outs should not be long (maybe 1 or 2 minutes) but insist that he spend that time in his time out corner or on his time out chair even if you have to hold him there. Don't expect immediate changes from him because he's going to continue to test you. Some 2 year olds aren't that bad, others are little monsters. I have two 2 year old grandchildren...one of each. Both adorable, but the boy is definitely the high maintenance, typical terrible two.

Just remember, if you are firm, kind and consistent it will improve. If you get too stressed, back off and remember that he's a little kid. Two year olds, fortunately, are still easily distracted. Give him something more interesting to do or play with to distract him from the negative behavior if you can.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Girl i have a 2 year old too! a lil girl though, and boyyy is she a HAND FULL! i dont know what to do sometimes! Im only 23 and i go nuts! in the stores and everywere else! I just deal with it! if they wanna scream let him! they wanna pout let him. they wanna kick , cry , whine, let him! Because in the store or public Regardless your not gonna be able to disapline them right there and then. so why work your self up! But when we get in the car or home i take away the toys the cartoons, the color books all the stuff she wants and say NOOOOOOO!!!!! because you were not nice to mommy! and i make it real boring for her so she can realize its better to be out then in the house with nothing! and kids are smart so she will eventually think about it and realize as they grow up day by day! WE as MOthers just have to be Patient! even though we'd like to do ( oh you can only amagine) Its HARD!!!!!!!!!! but i guess the key word is PATIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck girl!

Answer 6

hi there welcome to the fun terrible twos and i have read some of the other answers and some of them well .......his job at the moment is to drive you completly nuts which he is manageing well......they all have this ability......ive been here 3 times and every one did this job well right hitting him is not the answer as that will teach him that it is ok to hit .......so the next thing to do is to create a picture or a chart and get this chart into practise as soon as possible and every time he does something good you give him a sticker and lets say you want him to get 10 stars on his chart at the end of the week......you then get him a nice suprize and if he does something wrong then at home make him do time out and make him sit on a step or on a cushion til he calms down and learns that this is not on at all .......this will not sort it's self out over night but it will if you persist with it ......and as for the acting up in the stores then dont bother about what other people are doing if any one of them have kids they will know what you are going through ........i did this one countless times when my girls started to play up id just stop dead in my tracks and stay there til it stopped and it was a bit embarrassing but it soon stopped as they found out that if they did behave that i would move again ,and when they stop they do give you a strange look as if they cant work it out what happened ......and once they have stopped moaning and start talking to you we would talk about all different things like what we are doing here and when they are behaving tell him that he is being such a good boy as he is used to being introuble ........good luck and take care xx

Answer 7

My son NEVER acted like that. EVER.

If we were in public, I had no problems with swatting him once as a warning. If it got worse, though, I would take him to the bathroom. I told him, "If you want to cry, I'll give you a reason to cry".

Do you know what almost all major CEOs and successful businessmen had in common growing up? They were spanked, thus learning the limits of life early on. Positive re-enforcement does nothing but make that kid know that when he does something wrong, the punishment isn't going to be that bad. Time out for a few minutes, taking a nap, or getting a toy taken away just shows a kid patience. SOMETIMES. It doesn't show them the difference between right and wrong, though.

"Spare the rod, spoil the child".

Be firm. You're the parent, he's the child.

Answer 8

First of all, it's wonderful to hear that someone else is in the same boat as me!! I feel like I've tried everything - nothing works for listening and especially in public. Just today I started slapping his hand when he was touching things he knows he's not supposed to. Usually, I give him warnings like, "if you do that again I will spank your hand!" That wasn't working so I just explain to him he's not to touch and if he does he gets a spank on his hand. It worked great today. The reason I chose hand spankings is because time outs are a laughing matter to him, reasoning with a 2 year old doesn't exsist, spanking on the pamper cause him to laugh, and real spankings on the bum seem to harsh. Anyways, I am experiencing exactly what you described so know that you're not alone and don't get frustrated. That's my challenge every day, to not scream and cry but to approach things in a calm and collected manner. If you get any good tips please share, otherwise I hope this helps.

Answer 9

The baby is only two, that means it's only been two short years since he emerged from the womb, not of his own free will, I might add ,and most of the posters here are ready to make mincemeat of him. It seems a bit pathetic that the only advice so many 'adults' can give is 'smack him on the backside', "show him who's boss". Does it make people feel so good to play Rambo with a two year old? Does it make them feel big to lord it over a baby?
The baby does not ask to be born. Treat him with respect and kindness. Teach him patiently, and with kindness. If you can't do that give the kid to someone who'll really appreciate him and don't have any more.

Answer 10

pshh... slap the taste out of his mouth!!! You need to lay down the law,.. instill the fear of God into him next time he doesn't listenby reminding him whos boss with a quick crack to the jaw.

Don't be afraid to knock out a tooth on the first go either. Remember, there only his baby teeth and he will get more eventually, and the goal here is to classically condition your child, so that the next time he even hints of acting up in the store, you need only raise your hand and the little **** recalls the sting from last time and shuts his mouth.

Remember, its in public, so you must make your move fast,.. I suggest moving to a secluded part of the store to avoid the attention. We all know its embarressing to end up on CBS as a cover story.

jk

I'd say don't take your child to the store at all.

As for hitting your kids at all... if thats your method of dicipline and a child has figured out that method can not be publicly administered, then why not act out in public... besides, if you hit them later afterword, the points not going to hit home later anyways,. since the event has passed, and now they are gettign hit, and can easily fail to make the association for where the punishment is coming from.

Whats Dads approach to this sitaution I wonder?

Answer 11

he is testing the limits. Just ignore his tanterums. If you are in public, go shopping with a friend or his father and take him to the car, and let the dad sit in there with him. But don't talk to him, don't drive anywhere. Just turn on the ac or heater and read a book or listen to music. the more attention you give him the more he will scream. If you are at home, pick him up, put him in his bed, and close the door.