I have a step-son that just turned 5-year-old. He is completely out of control. He doesn't like for his dad and I to talk us to talk to each other and will often interrupt us with "Daddy ummmm..."(he doesn't have anything to say, he just says that until he can think of something to say) every time that we start to talk to each other. He won't do anything that he is told to do and will throw a screaming and crying fit until his dad tells him that he doesn't have to do it. Everyone on both his mom's and dad's side of the family says that he doesn't know that he is doing wrong even though he will tell me that he knows it is wrong. They just give him candy, put him in front of the T.V., or give him what he wants so that he will stop throwing his fit. He runs in the stores tearing them up, he hits, kicks, he was kicked out of school for destroying people's stuff, and screaming and yelling at the teacher. He cries to get his way and everyone gives into him except for me.
2006-12-04 18:02:25 · 14 answers · asked by phaded_matriX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It would be more understandable if indeed he didn't know that he was doing wrong. But he has told me that he knows it is wrong and he knows that he won't get in trouble for it. My spouse and I end up fighting all the time when he is over, and he admits that he is out of line, but he never does anything about it. We are expecting a child in March and I am terrified that my spouse will either treat both of them like they are helpless or else he will just continue to treat his son like he is helpless and he will continue to baby him. This problem with his son has been going on for a year so it isn't new and it is getting much worse. We have taken him to the doctor and physically he is fine, but we are trying to get him in to see a psychiatrist.
2006-12-04 18:30:36 · update #1
He's reacting to the stress and anxiety of having his family destroyed, his parents splitting up and his dad finding someone new. Wouldn't you throw a fit if your husband left you for someone else, moved away and ruined your family? He's barely 5 years old and look what his parents have done to his life already.
2006-12-04 18:11:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like he is screaming for attention.
He probably doesn't know where he fits into the situation.
He needs extra love, hugs and kisses. Show him he is a part of the family. Make him feel secure.
He may just be acting out his anger and frustrations from his parents splitting up.
Tune into the kid, he can teach you so much. Not saying it will be easy, but hey, his parents splitting up isn't easy for him either.
2006-12-04 18:17:10 · answer #2 · answered by badboy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, are you the main mother in his life? Then, you should be the one laying out the rules. You shouldn't let others delegate what goes on with him.. that is now your role. If you did adopt him and treat him as your own son, you should assume the responsibility that comes along with it and take control of the situation. Otherwise, he will never really see you as his mother and will always resent you/treat you like a stranger.
2006-12-04 18:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by stacy_8888 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you have a problem but maybe your step son has a problem of hyper activity. try to bring him to a doctor and to find out if the child has this problem. if it is really a personality trait, you can go to a psychologist and ask for assistance on what to do...or go to a store and bring a child some good books for him to learn to draw or build something something, like plastic toys. whatever..best wishes
2006-12-04 18:10:47 · answer #4 · answered by cast 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all I say your a hero for being in this situation stepmom, it must be hard. because no matter what you say or try to do you will look like an evil stepmom, sorry that just comes with this role that's your playing. Try to stay away , and just influence the child in a right way everytime you get the change .. Best of Luck!
2006-12-04 18:07:14 · answer #5 · answered by Tellie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know how you do it. I would have lost my mind. This child will be totally in control soon. May I ask why he is allowed to interrupt to begin with? With both my children and my partners if we are speaking and they try to interrupt we tell them not to be rude and wait till we have finished.
It sounds like no one really wants to parent the child in a positive way. How sad our society is becoming.
2006-12-04 18:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
they are doing him no favors- and when he is a teenager and will be worse and h e can be much more dangerous-someone needs super nanny!! It would help if you and hubby were on same page- James Dobson's book THe Strong Willed Child- You can have different rules at dad's house-take care-D
2006-12-04 18:15:09 · answer #7 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's okay to be firm and insist that he behave properly, but never forget that a young child is so much more fragile and sensitive than we might think.
2006-12-04 18:06:46 · answer #8 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's fixated on getting Dad's attention and needs a little tough love at this point. However, Dad has to be the stern one - if it comes from you, it will seem like you dislike himn
2006-12-04 18:13:29 · answer #9 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good for you for not giving in he sounds spoiled rotten. He sure doesnt want to share his daddy with you from the sounds of his butting in evertime you go to speak. Your husband needs to take a stand with him. 5 is old enough to know that the things he does are not good behavior. Then sooner the change it the better and easier it will be.
2006-12-04 18:08:24 · answer #10 · answered by d2347 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋