My friend had been dating this guy for 3 months. Over winter break (we're 20 and in college) she had planned to visit him about 400 miles away (she lives near school; he lives 400 miles from here). She was going to stay in his parents' house for a few days/a week until she talked to her parents who told her that doing so would be "classless". Her brother agreed with them saying it would make everyone (the boyfriend, his family, her family) think less of her and she would come off as a slutty girl with no morals. Is that true?? We thought it was fine! Are we way off base?!
Also, despite my name I'm a girl. We would really appreciate some male input here.
2006-12-04 17:49:11 · 8 answers · asked by G. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also, if you think it's not okay can you explain (in detail!) why? thanks!
2006-12-04 17:53:18 · update #1
His family invited her to stay.
2006-12-04 17:54:02 · update #2
Speaking as a dad - I would feel a little uncomfortable with that situation if she were my daughter. I'm not naive, and realize that there is nothing that they could do at his house, that they could not already be doing in a dorm or apartment on campus.
But just the idea - especially if I don't know his family.
Since it's the holidays, I would probably avoid what could cause a tense situation at home.
Good luck - sure you will do the right thing.
2006-12-04 18:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by ump2please 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's classless. But, then again, I'm not in her family. Will the boyfriend's parents be there? If so, and she is visiting him, I think it's perfectly okay. She's an adult. I would suggest that the two sleep in separate rooms, as a gesture of respect, and conduct themselves in a good manner. (ie: no hanky panky)
Women go see their boyfriend's family all the time. It was even considered okay in my parent's generation. Would they feel better if their daughter were to stay all alone in a hotel room in a strange city? I wouldn't.
2006-12-05 01:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, so you're parents are just as narrow-minded as mine, eh? Well, you need to do what you think and not what you're parents think. You know that there is nothing wrong with staying there. Your family thinks there is because that is what they have been told and they are trying to perpetuate the stereotype. Stay with him. His family is there so it's not like you two will be alone together, and even if you were you are an adult.
2006-12-05 01:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by NunYa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is okay. I don't see anything wrong here.
As long as she is polite and nice while at her boyfriend's parents' house, it is okay. Nothing will ever look slutty and/or classless.
2006-12-05 01:52:13 · answer #4 · answered by whitelighter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the family. She's only been dating him 90 days and it's very presumptuous of her to assume she's part of his family. Why is she visiting him/his family after only 90 days of dating him?? She's moving too fast.
2006-12-05 01:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i`m a girl i think that it is your decision you know what is wrong or right and nowing that you still do that i`ts o.k but yes people are gonna think that you know how they get freaked out for anything
2006-12-05 02:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by sweety 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No biggie. Especially if they have a spare bed for her.
2006-12-05 01:56:13 · answer #7 · answered by some chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess if she doesnt slep with him or shes over 18 its fine
2006-12-05 01:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by omygosh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋