I recently broke up with my "fiance" because well he had been beating me and that night before I broke up with him he strangled me. I feel like its my fault bc he then before I left cried and said he would do anything to keep me here and that he was sorry. Now far away from him and wondering if I did the right thing I really cant stop crying. To make things worse we were together for 2 years and he was the first man I ever slept with and was really intimate with. Is it my fault, did I do the right thing, and how can I get over this? Please comment back.
2006-12-04 17:19:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You definitely did the right thing. Take it from someone with experience in the "abuse" catagory. My dad was abusive when I was younger, and trust me, they always pull the "I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again" trick. If you give in, its almost a guarantee that they WILL do it again. Once an abuser, always an abuser.
It will be hard at first, and you may feel guilty, but you did the right thing. You needed to do this to protect yourself. Plus, think about if you did forgive him, would you ever be able to trust him again?
If he was really worth your time, he would have never done this to begin with. And if he really wants you back, he may seek some treatment of some kind. Until then, stick to your guns and continue with your life.
Remember, men are not worth your tears, and the ones who are will never make you cry.
2006-12-04 17:25:44 · answer #1 · answered by Shelby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me honey, you did the right thing!!! Just think that if he went a little further with the strangling, he could have killed you. Just remember the first time, shame on him, the second time shame on you. Please dont think that it is your fault, thats where women, and some men make mistakes, and then you see them on billboard signs, as a missing person. You deserve so much better than that. I know it was 2 years, but just by leaving him you added alot more years to your life. I know this sounds typical but its true, people are getting crazy anymore. He sounds like he needs help.
I have 2 kids and I have been married for 6 years, and if my husband EVER laid a hand on me, I would be gone so fast his head would spin. You will get over this in time, just remember just because he treated you this way, that not all men will treat you that way. Your very smart for getting out now, but do yourself a favor and move on. It's going to be hard to trust a man after what you have been through but girl there are good men out there and you will find Mr. Right!!
Good luck and Congrats, for making it out of that relationship alive, some don't!! Msranda
2006-12-04 17:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by Msranda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alex Hon, No way is this situation your fault!!!! It is very typical of someone in your situation to feel like it is your fault and return to the relationship cos he says "he has changed" or he "still loves you". I would like you to see a councellor and talk to them about your life as a whole or if you cant afford one I would be more than happy to talk to you over e-mail. cheryl.ede@bigpond.com
You absolutely did the right thing and the only way to get over it is to talk about it! You may not realise now but when you come along to your next love, you may have trust issues or general trust issues with all males. This can turn into a very serious issue and I am so glad you posted your question on Yahoo. I live in Australia and our motto over here is:
"To Violence against Women, Australia says NO"!!!
I would even like to become pen pals with you, if you would like!!
Please know that NO Woman EVER deserves to be beaten or is it EVER your fault!!!
Please talk more with me!!
Good Luck
2006-12-04 17:27:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you did the right thing by getting out of there but it is not your fault he was doing those things to you so don`t think that he has no right to lay a finger on you you did the best thing i was in the same thing and he begged me to stay and i did and i got it ten times as worse he broke my arm leg and pushed me over the stairs and i miss carried my child so yeah you did the right thing well i hope you make the right design good luck to you Hun
2006-12-04 17:28:59 · answer #4 · answered by clueless 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey Alex
you did the right thing no man in this world has the right to beat up or even think about abusing a women that is totally wrong i dont care what he say. that he want you to come back to him so the next time you to argue he is going to do the same thing again.i know how you feel right know you are hurting a lot and very up set but give it time the hurt well pass. if you want you can
e- mail, me if you need a friend to chat with I'm a very good Lister
blue_angle77@yahoo.com my name is art
2006-12-04 17:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by little_bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you did the right thing. It's not your fault, he needs some help and hopefully he will get some, but you need to move on with your life and find someone who will treat you with respect. It will take some time, but you will get over this.
2006-12-04 17:22:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don’t blame yourself. Per the first point on this list, Stout says, many women tend to beat themselves up after becoming involved with a pathological liar, because they cling to the “superstition” that they should have been able to figure things out right away. “Lying is difficult to detect,” she says, “so you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.” Get away from the liar in question, and get on with your life without berating yourself.
2006-12-04 18:08:29 · answer #7 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how it feels to leave a guy who broke ur viginity , but babes he was beaating u . That's a sign of being abusive.. time will help u . U will get over him and meet someone who will love the way u r .. U don't deserve to be beaten my friend . U r speacial
2006-12-04 17:25:46 · answer #8 · answered by mommy2be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. You get over it by not talking to him again, and allowing time to heal the wounds. Stay far away.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm
2006-12-04 17:22:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋