Should I call my father although I have made all the effort in the past year?

Question

In a little less than a year I have made ALL the effort as far as keeping in touch with my father. I have talked to him 3 times this year and we usually talk atleast once or twice a month. My grandmother died this past September and I asked that he be there for me. He did not show up and It really hurt my feelings. My grandmother was CRAZY about my father and thought the world of him even during times that she should not have. It just bothered me so bad that he wouldnt want to pay his last respects and be there for his daughter. We have just formed a relationship 6-7 years ago...during my adult life. But I have to say in the little bit of time we had grown close but the last 2 years he has withdrawn from me. I have asked him gently if there was anything wrong and he claims absolutely nothing. I also let him know that if he wanted to talk to me he could call and he has yet to call. We usually spend christmas and thanksgiving together and he has not called to invite me.I amhurt

I let him know that I felt a hinderence in his life and would love to hear from him so the ball is in his court. We have not had any cross words or tense conversations. My uncle...his brother, my aunt..his sister and his 80 year old aunt showed but my Dad did not. What am I suppose to think? It makes me mad that he has yet to call and make plans with me and his grandchildren that love him so much but even madder to know that im probably going to have to call to be able to hear from him. Should I just let him go and not worry about him anymore if he doesnt care or what? I also let him know that I wasnt mad or angry...although I am...but just wondered why I never saw him at the funeral or why he wasnt calling me and that I still loved him and wanted him in my life. Any advice anyone?

Answer 1

best get over your hurt, you are an adult, and not daddy's little girl. his behaviour is not your problem, and you can not change it. look after your self, as you can not depend on him to be there when it counts, his loss, not yours. take a lesson, from this and be a better parent than he was

Answer 2

Your hurt is understandable as is your fathers honesty to no wrong. There is nothing wrong inviting your father unless his specific indication otherwise.
You might talk with him about each others feelings and find a way to meet each halfway.

Answer 3

it is really hard not to be with your dad i am 14 and i havent seen my dad since i was 6 and it hurts..so i would say to do your best to make your relationship work.