if you are in a relationship and you dont trust the person but you love them very much, what do you do?

Question

i really love this guy and he keeps doing things that cause me not to trust him. now hes mad cause he has been trying lately to gain my trust and im not moving as quickly as he wants. which is selfish i think. but ive been with him for 3 yrs and it hurts so bad to have the thought of not being with him. he is very good to me but at times is very selfish about the things that he does. knowing that it will hurt me. im having a hard time letting him go. i feel dumb at times cuz im not ugly and very smart. so i wouldnt have a hard time in finding someone else.i really need some advice cuz this lack of trust thing is causing problems in our relationship. even though he is the one to blame for it. i feel bad cuz i know i should let him go and what he does to me is my fault for putting up with it. but i cant seem to let him go and stay gone. plz help me someone. im serious. i need help. what do i do in a situation like this. its not as easy as letting go.

Answer 1

Your problem is that even though you know this is a bad relationship, you fear the thought of life without him, even though you know it will be better for you in the long run. It's like trying to quit smoking cold-turkey; you KNOW you shouldn't smoke, but the side effects when you suddenly quit make you end up running back to the cigarrettes, because you'd rather give in to the addiction than suffer the temporary pain.

What you need is to consult with trusted friends who will support you and help you break this relationship off once and for all. He sounds like a bully and a jerk; a man who betrays you, tries to win you back and then has the nerve to be upset with you when you aren't cozying up to him quickly enough for his liking is clearly playing you. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a girl (or two, or three) on the side. Cut him loose and find yourself a real man; once you get into a good relationship, the "love" you have for him will fade very, very quickly.

Answer 2

You never said why you don't trust him. If you don't trust him because he is a man, then let it go before you lose him. If he has done something to earn the lack of trust, then you need to kick him to the curb and leave him there. Without trust, it is almost impossible to keep a relationship strong. You can stay together, but in the long run it is usually a waste of time. Like any habit, it takes time and patience to stay gone, but it gets easier the longer you do. Use your best judgment and make the decision with your head and not your heart. Love can be pretty stupid sometimes.

Answer 3

If you do not trust him, then you do not have a relationship -- relationships are built on trust.

It is normal, however to have feelings for people even though you may not ever have anyting more than just an acquaintance with them. You may care for them and want to see them do and be well; in that case you could try being friends, but do guard your heart. It would not be wise to conduct a romantic relationship with someone who has an established pattern of untrustworthiness because it will eventually come back to haunt you, leaving stronger feelings of anger, resentment, and betrayal.

Yeah, he may be hurt or upset, but you deserve nothing less than someone with a good measure of integrity.

Answer 4

if u cant trust him, u cant b w/ him. there's just no two way about it. its hard to let a even bad for you guys go, but it must b done. I suggest u tell him its over, then leave town for as long as possible, and do not under any circumstances use ur cell phone. do not call him, dont text him, dont read his texts or listen to voice mails, dont even check to c if hes called. just get the heck outta town with one of ur girls and have a great time.
spare ur self the pain of being w/ an untrustworthy guy.
good luc

Answer 5

I can understand what you are feeling cuz same happen with me...you know what hurt you lot ..that the person you love most in this world is not happy with you.....this relation will give you nothing..please i request try to move on..i know its easy to say and hard to live but yes this is the only resolution...so move ahead...best of luck

Answer 6

A relationship WILL not last unless TRUST is PRESENT!!! I think, as hard as it maybe, you need to let him go and move on! You will find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated cos how can you really love someone completely when all they do is hurt you!?

Answer 7

you have to ask yourself what do you expect out of the relationship do you feel you deserve better is he doing the things hes doing cause he just isnt ready to settle down due to his age or what if you want the relationship to work you have to work at it also ask your self just what is it that he does is it really important stuff or or you just so afraid he will desert you sometimes we tend to get upset over the little stuff and it gets bigger and bigger till we no longer know what we were upset with to start off with maybe you can talk to a counseler because if you mistrust him maybe you can find out why did some one in your past cause the mistrust or what you belive and maybe he belives hes ok counceling will help

Answer 8

I know this feeling.its very much common among all the people coz everytime u think about that whether he is faithful or cheating with u.But upto some extent u can measure out his love and loyality with u which can make u little secure as i can say more that u wont be able to get hundred percent assurance..So, if u feel satisfied with your search then wat else u need.

Answer 9

Get some help. You like abusive relationships. Get another boy toy, some Cognac, a Barry White CD, a nice fire and let him abuse you. You'll forget about the other moron real quick

Answer 10

i don't see how you can love a person and not trust her. I think that if you love a person you necessary trust them.