What do I wear to a funeral of a friend? Are jeans okay?

Question

A friend of mine died on the 1st of Dec, and the funeral is tomorrow. I really hadn't even thought of what I would wear. It takes place in a methodist church, but I'm not religious, and have no idea what that religion considers disrespectful. I know not to wear anything revealing or too 'happy' or colorful. Mostly go with darker colors. Black/Navy Blue etc. But I don't know what kind of shoes to wear, or if wearing jeans is considered disrespectful. Please help!

A friend of mine died on the 1st of Dec, and the funeral is tomorrow. I really hadn't even thought of what I would wear. It takes place in a methodist church, but I'm not religious, and have no idea what that religion considers disrespectful. I know not to wear anything revealing or too 'happy' or colorful. Mostly go with darker colors. Black/Navy Blue etc. But I don't know what kind of shoes to wear, or if wearing jeans is considered disrespectful. Please help!

Edit: I'm a girl. I don't have any suits and I'm not wearing a tie. And what about a white shirt? Would that be too.. white?

Eurgh, I'm seeing answers regarding cell phones.. just to be clear, I'm only asking about the clothing etiquette. I know the rest, I'm just not a fashion expert, especially when it comes to funerals. Thank you for trying to help, but please keep it directed to clothing?

Answer 1

The important thing is to go. BUT, remember why you are there. You are saying goodbye to your friend for the last time so dress appropriately for that occassion.

Unfortunately, I've gone to lots of funerals. I can't remember what anyone wore.

Finally, I'm very sorry. Be well.

Answer 2

This must have been a good friend for you to care so much about being respectful, I am deeply sorry for your loss. As to your question, jeans are only appropriate if the family of your friend are very laid back casual people ( I just attended a funeral where all of the men of the family were in black wranglers and western shirts). Unless you know this is how your friends family will be dressed, your safest choice is to be moderate. Black,charcoal, chocolate brown, are all great choices. Choose a mid-length skirt or slacks, a blouse or simple sweater ( a twin set would be great, that's a sweater that has a matching tank under it). Be sure to wear shoes that are good for being outside, if you are going to the graveside service too. A pair of pumps with thicker heels or a pair of flats that are closed toe. Keep jewelry to a simple necklace (pearls) and stud earrings. I'm sure no matter what you wear, your friends family will just be comforted by your presence. Hope this helped.

Answer 3

Condolences, losing a friend is a hard thing. Did you know his family because you can get a cue if the family is formal or not. Usually, what you wear won't even be noticed by the greiving friends and family (the only ones who would notice are those who are detached enough not to have tears in their eyes and heart). Your being there to honor your friend and to support the family & friends in their time of grief is what counts. Be neat and clean and not too extreme, that's what's important. Maybe not in some places in this world but more modern places know that the clothing doesn't represent your heart. Even when my grandma died, folks came in jeans and no one got upset or put out--they were clean and respectful. Shoes too, I'd say no sneakers but the kids do come in athletic shoes since they basically don't own anything else. Just be clean (like, wipe down your sneakers if you don't have other shoes). And if it all gets too overwhelming, just go in what is comforting to you; if you behave appropriately, all will be excused (because it was your friend too).

Answer 4

Sorry about your friend. If that's all you have, then go in jeans. The most important thing is that you go, and your friend's family will appreciate your presence. In my experience I've noticed that people go to funerals in all kinds of dress and colors. The men go in jeans, but for us women it's different. Perhaps it's regional (I'm in rural Texas). Just wear the nicest of what you have. I had the same problem at a funeral this summer. I ended up wearing a green blouse with a blue skirt. I wasn't the only one, and I bet you won't be either.

Answer 5

What you wear is not as important as showing up to pay your respect to your friend. I suggest, if you put it on and you don't feel it's right then it's not right. Blue jeans would not be the number 1 choice for a lot of people but if that's the way you and your friend were always dressed when hanging out then why not. If you do wear the jeans, try dressing it up a bit with a nice shirt or jacket.

Answer 6

Not even if he was a farmer should you wear jeans to a funeral. Wearing something dark is considered the norm in Western cultures Where wearing white is the norm in Asian cultures. Wear some heels and PLEASE ! leave the cell phone in the car. Don't show your rudeness by having it go off during the funeral and then take the call as well. Remember this is a time of sorrow for the family,relatives and friends.

Answer 7

I have worn jeans to the visitation--going straight from work.
I think I would --out of respect for the church-- just TRY to wear Khakis at least. If you don't own any, now may be a good time to have some. You may have more funerals to go to and you'll have some nice pants.

Do it out of respect for your friend.

Not too many people are going to notice what you're wearing.
Your friend would accept it, I'm sure.

Sorry you lost a friend.

Answer 8

it depends on where you live, what the family are like, etc....i'd say the main thing is that you are there to say good-bye and support your friends' family....what you are wearing is not that important (and frankly, unless it is waaaaay inappropriate-like a tube top, nobody is really gonna notice too much)....of course dark colors are traditional, and dressing up is also traditional.....but so long as you are neat and clean i wouldn't put too much energy into worrying about it....if you want to wear jeans-go for it!!....just make sure they don't have holes, and i would wear a nice blouse and some dressier shoes......i live in a very casual town in southern arizona....it's pretty common for people to wear jeans and tshirts to a funeral, or even flip-flops and shorts......i've never been to a funeral where i didn't see at least one person wearing jeans

Answer 9

Jeans are NOT ok. Wear something else. Borrow something from your mother. I am not very old and I wouldn't walk into a church unless I was wearing a skirt or dress. I realize this is old school but the folk s at the funeral my possibly be as 'old school" as I am.

Wear a skirt and a modest blouse. Be considerate of the grief of others. You do not want to call attention to yourself at this time. This is not your time to solicit attention by fancy clothes or outrageous attire.

Answer 10

As a student studying to become a funeral director, I would say that it all depends. Will there be a lot of people there in "casual" cloths? do you think that his/her family would feel disrepected if you wore jeans? If you want to play it safe and not draw too much attention to yourself, I would suggest wearing dark cloths, preferibly a suit if you have one.