Sexual probs....?

Question

my boyfriend and i been together for a year and the sex isnt the same... He keeps coming early, without giving me a chance for an orgasm. He is also younger with more experience. I ve only been with 3 ppl and i really dont know when i have an orgasm. I really dont know what an orgasm feels like. It is now causing a rift between us. And i dont know what to do im very worried i love him but sex just isnt satisfying. We have decided on a trial separation,( i suggested it). He wants to do whoever but i have to have limits. Unfair but ill give it a trial..What can i do???HELP ASAP

Answer 1

An orgasm is described as a level of sexual arousal that reaches a peak then subsides leaving the participant feeling elated, relaxed and sexually satisfied. It is difficult to describe an orgasm because it is different for every female. Women generally describe it as a feeling of being so aroused that you are going to explode.

Muscles in your body may go into contraction, your hands tighten up, you may arch your back, your facial expression is intense, your breathing pattern changes to short gasps, your legs tremble, your toes curl under. You may make groaning noises, whimper, some women cry out. Because the sensations are so intense and so different for each woman, it like trying to describe a sneeze.

Are all women capable or reaching orgasm? Yes, unless there is some rare congenital abnormality or extensive genital surgery where nerves have been cut. Some women who have had a stroke can still reach orgasm. Women who are Spinal Cord injured and are paraplegic or quadraplegic will probably not have a genital orgasm but can reach orgasm by stimulating other areas of their bodies. Some women who have severe diabetes may not reach orgasm because of nerve degeneration.

Some women have lovely small ripple orgasms, others have massive orgasms. There are women who have one orgasm after the other as long as the stimulation continues; for others, one is quite enough for them. There is no normal, all are unique. A few women may have singleton orgasms with one partner and multiple orgasms with another partner. Some women experience a headache after orgasm; some start to cry and some start to laugh; this is simply a release of pent-up sexual tension. These reactions quickly pass and you bathe in the afterglow. Be honest about it. Every once in a while, you will have a cataclysmic orgasm. He will know it – he'll have the bruises to show for it. There are no rules when it comes to orgasms.

It is a myth that a female should have an orgasm every time she has sex. There are times when it just will not happen, if she feels fat or ugly, afraid that she might get pregnant or a disease, she may be tired, stressed, angry at her partner, preoccupied with family or finances etc. She may be uncomfortable, even in pain.

There will be times when all systems are GO and she does not have an orgasm. The sex was good, she is fine, satisfied, happy and contented. She was very aroused then just slid over the top and into the "refractory period" but she is still purring.

Here is where your partner enters the scene. Do not ask "DIDJA COME?" This puts pressure on her to have an orgasm to convince you that you are a good lover and capable of satisfying her. She may be tempted to fake orgasm just to have you believe that you are that good. Faking orgasm is destructive to a relationship that is based on honesty and trust. If your partner is dishonest, the trust level is shattered and that can be very damaging to a relationship.

Ladies, be honest, "No, I didn't have an orgasm but you are great, I feel wonderful, WOW, you are da man." Guys, accept that.

HOW TO HAVE AN ORGASM for FEMALES

Most women reach their first orgasm all by themselves. Few things you have to do before you begin. First, you have to:

1. Become comfortable with your own body.
2. Look at the messages you got as a kid about "self pleasuring"(masturbation). Bad, dirty, dangerous?
3. Give yourself permission to fantasize about sex. Read a sexy novel, romance pocket book, allow yourself to get turned on. You can't masturbate without fantasy. Read our web site on female masturbation.
4. Give yourself permission to stimulate yourself, Learn what pleasures you, all by yourself.
5. Share that information with your partner, guide your partner so he can make the moves that are pleasurable for you.
There are a few basics you need to know. For most females, penis size is not important. Bigger is not better.

*Most women do not reach orgasm with sexual intercourse. Most women reach orgasm by clitoral stimulation, either manual, oral-genital contact or a vibrator. *

Answer 2

if you don't know if you had an orgasm i would guess that you didn't. it's a pretty intense feeling. sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship and if you can get it then you may want to move on but if you love him i would try to find a solution.

most women cannot have an orgasm with sexual intercourse. This is just the way most women's bodies are built and it doesn't mean that the guy isn't doing it right. If he is finishing too quickly i would suggest trying him giving you oral sex or stimulating you manually. This way you can have an orgasm and then when you have sex he can have one. many couples have to work at being sexually compatible in the beginning. it's very normal. just find what works for you guys.

good luck

Answer 3

psyche's can be weird...men usually get off faster because they can...women usually take a little longer because the stimulation to make a man get off is the movement of the loose skin covering the penis up and down, where the stimulation of the woman is the clitoris. The woman, needs to be sure that the clitoris is being stimulated properly in order to achieve an orgasm. I have never had a female orgasm so I can not speak to that, so you will need to ask the girls about what it feels like, but for the man, it is like a speeding freight train that you don't want to stop...so when it starts to go, you do not want to quit...maybe...
he masturbates too much and too quickly...we all learn as kids to go fast so you don't get caught...well...he may be used to that and it will be hard to retrain him for slowness...
maybe you need to do some foreplay...where he, you or both stimulate you to get you going (your freight train) and then hop on his engine...
maybe trying a different position, him on top and his penis going in and out will stimulate you better, or maybe try doggie style and you stimulate yourself...
what are your ages, that may be important...
are you lubricated enough? do you have pain that could be interfering with your ability to have an orgasm?
is he too small or too large?
open up and explain to him what you are (or are not feeling) maybe he will come around (no pun intended)
good luck

Answer 4

The problem is with your boyfriend and not you. Some women need time and patience to achieve an orgasm, unlike their counter parts how can *** just dreaming of naked women. Your boyfriend has one of two problems, either has premature ejaculation problem or he is rushing and not stimulating you enough. Both problems can be fixed. The first requires a doctor the second is he needs to slow down and spend more time on foreplay with you. The more foreplay the more stimulation for you and when you are ready then have intercourse and *** together.

Answer 5

Get rid of him. Sex is about mutual pleasure and if he is too immature to make sure that you are getting as much pleasure as you are giving then it is time to step back and re-evaluate the situation. You say that you love him, but it doesn't sound that he returns that love if he is wanting sex with other people.

If you had an orgasm you would absolutly know it and wouldn't be wondering about it. It sounds to me that you may be too young to be having sex at all.

There is more to a relationship than just sex, there should be mutual love, trust, friendship, and your partner should be giving equally, it sounds like he wants to take, take, take...

If you are determined to make it work I would try couples therapy.

Answer 6

Honey, if he thinks only of himself and doesn't help you to reach satisfaction, he couldn't be all that experienced...or he couldn't care much for you. A man who loves you will engage in lots of foreplay and take pains to make sure you are satisfied.

If you have never had an orgasm, you need to get to know your body and bring yourself to climax. You can't direct your lover about how to please you until you yourself know what gives you pleasure. Google Female Masturbation if you think you need some guidance on how to bring yourself to orgasm. Soon you'll be in a better position to tell your boyfriend (or a new one) what to do to make you happy!

Answer 7

The first thing you need to do is take time to explore your own body. Find out what makes you orgasm and what feels good to you. There is no way any man can please you if you don't know what feels good to you or what makes you orgasm, Use this separation time to explore your body and find out more about what makes you orgasm. Good Luck.

Answer 8

request more foreplay... guide him not all men can sexually please all women difference sensitive zones and turn ons. A woman that will show you her sweet spot will get her sweet spot touched... philosophy lol. Sex has probably became routine so he's not so interested to make it anything special. Spice things up suprise him with a lap dance or something sexy like. Trial seperations are bs its just that he can go screw someone new and if that doesn't pan out that night you'll be getting a late phone call (booty call).

Answer 9

well if he doesnt let you have an orgasm, make sex sexy!! thats the point right??? after he's had his..let his catch his breath for a cuppla seconds, then say "my turn" and get back into it! my boyfriend thinks its sexy when i do that...a girl that knows what she likes in bed~tell him what u like---give him breathless commands while ur at it!! you gotta let him kno what u like~~ things like this guys dont automatically kno--not all girls are the same

Answer 10

Try touching your part to feel orgasm. Then tell him he will do the same.