If you thought your bf/gf had a mental illness that wasn't being treated (or was being ignored altogether), how would you convey your concern and suggest they get help? I care A LOT about this girl, we've dated for some time now, but, looking back, I have always known there was something odd about the way we relate to each other. I think I know what is REALLY going on (though she hasn't told me). I do respect her privacy, but I also care for her a lot, so I am torn about what to do. Half of me says to let her come to her own conclusions while the other half instinctively knows she will just continue to blame herself for the disintegration of our relationship b/c of this potential condition and, therefore, am almost willing to let her hate me (for bringing this to her attention) in the hopes that she will eventually agree w/ me (even if she never talks to me again) and get the help she needs. What would you do? We are supposed to get together today.
2006-12-04 15:45:36 · 3 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I thought my boyfriend had a mental illness that wasn't being treated, I'm sure I'd have the same doubts as you would, initially. Anyone who says they wouldn't is a fool, for nobody would rush into such a conclusion without any hesitation.
Ultimately, I think it best that you have a heart-to-heart discussion with her. Although it may be uncomfortable, and although it may end the relationship... the point is... if you really care for her, you'll tell her what it is you think you see, and if she really cares about you, she'll at least listen to what you have to say.
2006-12-04 15:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by Zack 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her secure first.
Tell her you dont care whatever condition she might ever be in, no matter sick or healthy, rich or poor (dont say mentally ill or retarded).
Then keep expressing your love and your concern (keep away from the 'why are you acting wierd? question) use, how are you feeling? Is everything ok?
Try also to gain her trust.
Let her be able to tell you herself. Or even if she doesnt know but you know, ask a doctor how you could help.
Your really brave
2006-12-04 15:56:04 · answer #2 · answered by rhea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound quite articulate (if not a bit long winded - lol). I think once she is stable, she will probably forgive you any "blame" for bringing symptoms of her possible condition to her attention. Sounds like you love her and I bet you do the right thing (tell her) no matter what we say.
2006-12-04 15:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋