I ask this question because, after all, I sincerely suck at communicating with other people. My tongue freezes, my palm sweats, and I'm terrified out of my mind. Frankly, I could use all the suggestions I can get. Thanks in advance. =)
2006-12-04 15:31:54 · 7 answers · asked by Jin 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
As a fellow shy person, I feel your pain! I also know you can learn to get past it - not the being shy, necessarily, but the communication suckage. There are tricks, and they work:
> before you speak, take a moment to take a deep, slow breath and let it out, slowly. Fools the body into thinking you're calm, helps circumvent the "fight or flight" panic response.
> remember that most people aren't judging you - they're worrying about how they appear to others, including you.
> remember that most people want to be thought of as interesting and like people who seem to like them - genuinely, not in a "desperate for approval" way (see tip #1, relaxing).
> Ask questions and listen to the answers. Your objective isn't just to meet people, it's to get to know them and find the people you might want to know better. It's like a party game - each of the people you meet is in posession of information you need (whether or not you might like them), and your objective is to get that information.
> don't feel the need to be something you're not. If you're not a natural "life of the party" and lampshades don't seem to look good on your head, don't feel the need to juggle the wax fruit from the decorative bowl while telling a joke - most gatherings of human beings are more in need of good listeners than entertainers. Quiet enthusiasm is still enthusiasm.
> remember that, as my Mama said, "not all people cotton to each other, and there's a whole host of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with you." In other words, you might meet someone who doesn't seem receptive, and it probably has nothing to do with you. The person might be distracted by something else (it's hard to be social when you're worried about your job, or your feet hurt), tired, or any number of things that make them less than ready to make a new friend - so if you get that unreceptive vibe, you smile, back off, talk to someone else and try again later.
Good luck!
2006-12-04 15:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have an interesting talent or object that other people approach you and ask you about. For example, I had a large pure bred Rottweiler that almost everyone would go out of their way to talk to me about. In my youth I rode freestyle motocross and people would love talking about that endlessly. I think that may help you focus your attention on "something" rather than what to say next.
2006-12-04 15:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by C W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, people love a good LISTENER! Don't talk and just listen.
(just kidding)
Learn names and put them with the faces.
REMEMBER those people's names when you see them again.
Ask people about themselves--not so much that they will think you are nosy--just ask them, cause people LOVE to talk about themselves! Actually listen and put that person with that job (or whatever) to remember their name next time.
If you seem interested in them, they will walk away thinking,
"Now, that -------- sure is a nice person."
Say and repeat their name several times---they LOVE hearing their name.
2006-12-04 16:02:45 · answer #3 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
supply JB the ten pts. he's purely off with the aid of slightly, because Yamsters wriggle out of handcuffs. takes position each of the time in P&G. all of us choose immediately-jackets. And all of us understand it. at the same time as Google takes over the universe, they are going to deliver us Yamsters to re-education camp, and optimistically fix us up there. With Google, there aren't any stupid questions. purely stupid seek for fields. Yam on, sis...
2016-11-23 17:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on listening rather than on talking. Most people like to talk, so give them the chance to.
2006-12-05 02:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same here buddy , that s y everybody hate me lol jk ,no seriously , i got tha tsame problem u know ....But exercise helps a lot , and mak you feel so much better , trust me , try to exercise as much as u can and aventually you'll feel less anxious you'll see , it works , I should do it but i have no time to excercise ....hope it helps ....
2006-12-04 15:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol!
2006-12-04 15:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by CincyGal 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋