hes only 15 and ive never gotton the feeling tht he was gay b4.i told him it was ok and i asked him if he was gay or bi and he said no. what does this mean?
2006-12-04 15:15:05 · 26 answers · asked by James 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If it helps I am gay, but just one perspective.
You can't really tell what it means. Many kids his age are very clear about being gay and comfortable with it, but whether they clue in their parents or not varies pretty widely. All their friends may know, their whole school may know but none of the kids will tell the parents about it. And it can be impossible to tell, plenty of kids don't fit any of the stereotypes. So maybe he's gay or bi, but that's only one possibility.
It may mean nothing -- it could be curiosity, it could simply have wandered across it. It doesn't necessarily imply anything much, I'm sure you know at that age sex is powerful and he may simply be exploring sexuality in general, perhaps he's been looking at other kinds of porn too. It may not appeal to him but he's possibly trying to figure out the appeal. In my own case, I have a son, when he was a teenager his friends all knew that I was gay and he later told me they spent some time looking at gay porn just out of curiosity.
On the other hand perhaps he is gay or bi and he's not ready to deal with it, or if he is most likely not ready to discuss it with a parent. How many kids do talk to their parents about their sexual interests and activities?
I think you really are wondering, what should I do?
Well you did a good start if you let him feel that you would be OK if he is gay or bi. I advocate telling it to him again, just that in a way that lets him off the hook entirely. Something like this, short and to the point:
"I'm sorry I came in just then, it was awkward. I want you to know for sure that I love you and it's ok if you were just curious, but if you were gay or bi it wouldn't change how I feel about you at all."
Then you go about your business and let him decide if he is or isn't and if or when he'd like to talk to you about it.
If he's struggling with his sexuality he'll appreciate knowing how you feel about that, no matter where he finds himself. If he isn't gay at all he's gotten a good message that he can carry to his friendships and the gay people he's going to meet at school and in the rest of his life.
I'd say 'good luck' but in grand proportions this isn't too big a deal, and your son is lucky to have a dad who can be cool about this.
2006-12-04 15:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by Phil 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-18 16:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gay Porn 15 Year Old
2016-12-16 09:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he was looking at any kind of porn in the first place (why does he feel like he needs to look at it). Tell him you'd rather not have him looking at it on the computer since it opens up the family comp to spyware and viruses (practical reason). Your son is experimenting with his sexuality right now, and figuring out how things work and (honestly) what excites him. You need to sit him down and have a conversation with him: the talk. He needs to realize that porn is not something you want on the computer and you might want to talk with him about why he doesn't feel; attracted to girls. Maybe he's just nervous and uncomfortable....normal adolescent feelings. He needs his daddy to tell him how things are supposed to be. Don't question his sexuality, or you could push him into feeling a certain way. If you're religious, I'd consult your priest/preacher/rabbi about what to do....they'd be better qualified. The more you think your son is gay, and the more you question his sexuality, the more he will consider it. Hope that helps.
2006-12-04 15:21:42 · answer #4 · answered by Sirius's Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he's a fifteen year old boy, porn is porn at that stage. It's not like he is of legal age to walk in and hire top shelf and so on. As llong as he knows that you'll love him and are okay weather he is straight, gay or bi then i wouldn't worry. I I wouldnt kick up a fuss about him watching porn, it woruld be worse if he was going out and sleeping with a million girls/boys and coming home with an std or a baby.
2006-12-04 23:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by jinglebells 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have asked him why he was watching that if he was not gay. You should find out if it was really gay porn or it just had a scene within like that. (its possible)
If he was gay and you made it clear that it was fine with you, maybe he will tell you sooner or later. He was probably totally embarrassed and humiliated and maybe you should have waited until later to talk about it. Like bring it up in another atmosphere other than "catching him" in the act of watching it.
2006-12-04 20:50:20 · answer #6 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably just curious about it, but I would tell him that he needs to not watch this stuff. Also, straight porn is not ok either. It is unrealistic sex and garbage that young boys, old men, no one should be watching. There is a lot of filth on the internet, and people need to set the limits on their viewing. Curiosity is fine, but left too long, it will become an obsession. Talk to your son and tell him that you would rather that he not watch these sites and then enforce it. Chances are he will stop, but you need to guarantee it somehow. Good luck - this is difficult. I raised three boys, but we did not have internet then.
2006-12-04 15:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by Doug R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No straight man would ever watch gay porn, unless it was lesbians. Love your son, and let him know that if he ever needs to talk, you're there. (A reminder about protection, while annoying, would not be out of place.)
2006-12-04 15:24:08 · answer #8 · answered by spunk113 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, of course he's going to lie. He was mortified.
Whats the worst nitemare you can have? Your parents catching you with porn, especially gay porn (I remember). I came out to my parents but I wouldn't have THAT way. I would have lied and told them later. lol Yes, they would have figured it out by then, but it would have been at the proper time and from me. Plus, even if you have taught him its okay, there is still the pressure outside society places on us, those we work with, go to church with, school, etc. still put on us, and he may feel he's letting you down for that.
2006-12-04 16:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are many factors to this problem, if u think it is a problem. where some people think its perfectly fine to be gay. some factors i would say is not enough love by a father, or a father figure. or girls have mistreated him in such a way for him to turn gay. or its a new fad for this younger generation of kids, they think being gay is cool since everyone does it, he wants to stand out and he has no regret because gays are now mostly accepted everywhere. no one is born gay its not a disease. If it occurs thru earily childhood, it is reverseable i'd say, thru proper channels. seek a counselor/professional help. before you do this talk to him, its not easy coming out of the closet.
im not a professional but i do this pretty offen. people seek me for help and i try to help best i can thru the most senseable/ethical manner. i was on my way to psycology major but i switch to accounting because it is fitting to my financial status.
2006-12-04 15:32:46 · answer #10 · answered by bluelitjan 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋