English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

I have threatened to turn her in as a runaway and turn him in as harboring a runaway. But this will get her mad. I do not want her to throw her future away on him. She wants to go to medical school. She has already losy MOST of her friends because of this 18 year old boy. HELP ME

2006-12-04 15:08:54 · 27 answers · asked by J L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

27 answers

Your the parent. BE A PARENT FOR GOSH SAKES!

2006-12-04 15:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by Luckiest_Wife_EVER 3 · 3 2

You have to stick by it and if she runs away, you have to turn her in. He is of age and he can be charged with something even if it is not with a child, she is still a minor.

You let the reins loose and now she is out of control. She tells you whats up instead of you telling her. This is not entirely your fault, its just a mistake. You can take control now and then for the next two years, but after that, you will have to let go and she has to make her own decisions. You have to guide her the best you know how for right now and that is to stick by your guns.

You probably already know what you "should have" done. Like not even letting her date until she was around 16, let alone get that serious with someone. She should have had a curfew and regulations on dating and where she was. It is not too much for a parent to ask a kid where they are and determine when they are coming home. This is what you should have done and should do from now on if you have other kids.

2006-12-05 04:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 1 0

Tell her NO, plain and simple. If she leaves you absolutely report her as a runaway and they'll bring her home. She will be mad for sure. You need something you can take away from her to motivate her (like the car or cell phone and everything else you provide for her).
In the end it will be her choice and she very well could throw her future away on him. But you can't stop her really and you will only push her toward him if you are too hard on her. If she leaves, she leaves everything you've given her. Don't make it easy for her to live outside of your house and your rules. I hope it isn't too late for you to get control of this situation and her.
Most of all, PRAY. And don't stop. Good luck

2006-12-04 23:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by suzyQ 3 · 1 0

this was the same situation for me and my boyfriend (fiance now) when i was 16 i threatened to do that too. And my parents told me the same thing you are thinking of telling her and it did only make me more mad and more determined to run away. Try to have a nice and CALM conversaion with her. The reason why i was so determined to run away cause my parents would never tell me why or have a nice conversation with me. They would just scream and hollar and have it there way. She is 16 she's not a little child but she's not an adult. Talk to her about your conserns and just be calm be her parent but also her friend. good luck

2006-12-04 23:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by Samantha M 3 · 1 0

She is still a minor and you are there to help her make the right decisions. Do exactly as you said you would do because otherwise if she gets pregnant and they want to marry she could be emancipated. Get her out of that situation. As soon as he sees that you are serious about pressing charges he will leave her alone. I don't think he will risk ruining his record over a girl. and she will see that he wasn't worth it. Be strong she will realize in the long run that you did it for her best interest. Also have a heart to heart talk with her without fighting on what is the real reason why she wants to leave home. There may be something at home that's bothering her. All in all you are still the parent. What you say goes.
Good luck.

2006-12-04 23:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by lanena423 2 · 3 0

You should call her in as a runaway. When I was 16 I did the same thing and my parents turned me in, him in, his parents in and they didn't want me to be there anymore, I had to go home. My parents also sent me away to live with a family member a few hours away. You're still her parent she isn't an adult yet and if she gets in trouble you could be held responsible, especially if you don't report her as a runaway.

Good Luck

2006-12-04 23:24:01 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Wizard 3 · 1 0

So what if she gets mad..she will get over it in time.Is she even at the age of consent in the state you live in?This could be considered statutory rape.
I personally wouldn't allow my under age daughter to move in with her boyfriend.You are her parent and are looking at her future.She might get mad and make life miserable for you for a while,but in time she will come to realize that you were right.She has a bright future ahead of her,don't let her lose it by making a foolish decision now that could have lasting effects.Do what you know is the right thing and know you are doing it because you love her.

2006-12-04 23:18:02 · answer #7 · answered by stellablue1959 5 · 2 0

She';s 16, and YOU are the parent. Lay down the law, literally. Tell the police you have a runaway and that her boyfriend is overage (statuatory). YOu want the best for her future, right? That means not necessarily being her best friend. You do this now, you separate them, and she will WILL will thank you in the long run. Right now you need to be in parent mode and forget if it makes her mad. Protect your little girl, and help her have a future. Don't be afraid to call the police. It;s a lesson she needs to learn. I hope that helps. Please let us know how it tuerns out!

2006-12-04 23:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sirius's Mommy 3 · 1 1

Since her relationship with him has caused her to be isolated socially, and apparently has affected her personality, you should consider the possibility of an abusive relationship.

Abusers do not start with hitting! It is a years-long process that begins with isolating and controlling behaviors, progresses to emotional abuse and "breaking the spirit" for control purposes, and finally culminates with hitting and possibly death. He has already commandeered her thought process and convinced her to leave home at a tender age to be with him (under his thumb). Right now, it is very important to address the broader issue of whether this relationship is healthy to begin with, and keep the lines of communication open and honest.
It won't be easy; after all, 16-year-old girls are not exactly known for respecting their mothers. But it's better to piss her off for her own good than to ignore what may be a terrible problem.

2006-12-04 23:38:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

It is really a financial question. Talk to her realistically about the financial responsibility of moving out and how you will no longer be there for her is she is on her own. You can get information on emancipation in your state so she is aware of the legalities as well. My guess is once she is hit with a strong dose of reality she'll cool her jets. Be available emotionally but not financially. Open your door for her to return but under your rules. Once she knows the score you may be surprised at her willingness to work with you instead of fighting you. The more you fight the faster she'll run. Keep it cold and clinical (break down later) and lay down what the reality is - she will hate you now and respect you for it later. Good Luck!

2006-12-04 23:15:36 · answer #10 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 4 0

tell your 16 yr she can not see this boy any more and also turn her in as a runaway have the cops talk to her about her choices that might help

2006-12-04 23:21:36 · answer #11 · answered by Melissa H 3 · 2 0

fedest.com, questions and answers