My cat hates my wife.?

Question

I am reluctant to get rid of my cat. The problem is that I am recently married. My cat HATES my wife. I'm serious. And the wife doesn't care for the cat either. I mean, the cat does things just to annoy her because ever since she's lived her, my wife won't let the cat on the furniture anymore. Now the cat does things just to piss her off, such as rubbing her fur on my wife's pillow, tracking cat litter onto her side of the bed (not mine), and jumping up on her computer desk just to knock things over.

I guess my question is, do any of you guys want a cat?

I am reluctant to get rid of my cat. The problem is that I am recently married. My cat HATES my wife. I'm serious. And the wife doesn't care for the cat either. I mean, the cat does things just to annoy her because ever since she's lived her, my wife won't let the cat on the furniture anymore. Now the cat does things just to piss her off, such as rubbing her fur on my wife's pillow, tracking cat litter onto her side of the bed (not mine), and jumping up on her computer desk just to knock things over.

I guess my question is, do any of you guys want a cat?

Edit: Did I mention that while we are currently looking to buy a house, we at the moment live in a cramped one-bedroom apartment?

Answer 1

I have to tell you in all seriousness...do NOT get rid of that cat. I was in the same situation...a woman who'd pressure you to get rid of a beloved pet will not be there a couple, three years down the road. Then, you're going to miss the cat that was your friend when you were alone. Sounds flowery, but it's true. It happened to me 10 years ago and I still miss that cat and the chick is long gone. Pets give unconditional love; women only love you for what you can do for them.

Answer 2

My cat used to do similar things to my husband when we were first married. My husband threatened to get rid of him but I put my foot down at that. Your cat is jealous that she/he now has only half of your attention and love. Be extra loving with your cat and try to get your wife involved with you and the cat when you are having a play session or are just petting the cat. A couple of other suggestions:
Is there a possibility that you could get a special throw or blanket for one of your chairs so the cat can use it? Also with your wife's permission of course you could try taking a piece of your wife's dirty clothing and rub it all over the cat so your wife's scent will go everywhere with the cat. You would most likely have to repeat this several times so the cat gets very accustomed to your wife's scent. The cat may just begin to accept your wife as a second companion after several applications of wife scenting. Oh and put a door on the room where your wife keeps her computer and keep it closed when she's not in there working. That should help to keep kitty from sabotaging your wife's work area. Cats don't deal well with changes and the only way I have found to keep a peacable kingdom is to make compromises. Give the cat a chair with a special cover and make a big fuss about that being the cat's special chair. While I understand your wife's reasons for keeping the cat off the furniture she also has to realize she's asking a lot of an animal with the brain capacity of a 2 year old child. Given time and a little sweet talk from you to both your wife and your cat should settle the problems down in the months to come. Good luck with both of you partners.
LL

Answer 3

She knew what she was getting into before you got married. Cats naturally like to be in places that are comforting and off the ground. If the wife doesn't want the cat in the bed, keep the cat out of the bedroom. You can't punish the cat for being territorial over a place that was his/hers to begin with. The cat isn't trying to bother her, it's just doing what it knows. She can't expect the cat to all of a sudden change its habits because she wants it to...that's not the way it works. But honestly, if your wife is so unbending in this situation, maybe you shouldn't have the cat. It'd be better off elsewhere, but my question is what will she do when you guys have kids to soil the furniture? You going to give them away too?

Answer 4

Your cat is naturally resentful at this change in the "rules of the house" and your wife has little understanding of cat behavior if she insists on imposiing the furniture rule. Is it because your wife can't deal with cat hair on the furniture? You haven't indicated that the cat was in the habit of shredding it. Your wife should consider herself lucky that the cat uses the litterbox as that will probably be the next aggravation the cat will subject your wife to.

I have seen a lot of good and bad marriages in my 75 years and there is such a thing as understanding and compromise that make for human growth. You don't just "get rid of" problems including the cat. You learn to deal with them in a constructive way. Your wife won't be able to get rid of her mother-in-law or others in your family , including your friends, she has to learn to cope.

Your cat and your wife are in a battle where only the cat will probably lose. Of course it isn't fair to the cat. I wonder what other changes the new wife will want to make in your former "life-style" and how long you will put up with HER. You will most likely end up eventually sans cat and sans wife.

Answer 5

Maybe things will be better when you've moved. Nobody likes to be cramped for space. I can understand the cats point of view though. Your wife turned up in cats house and started being mean, of course the cat hates her. I can't understand your wife's point of view I'm afraid, then again I love cats (no thank, don't want another I already have 3) I fear if your wife is not a cat person then she will never understand the cat's point of view. Your only hope of resolving this is to speak to your wife (the cat won't listen to you) and ask her if she can be patient and maybe try and resolve their differences, perhaps see how things work out in the new house when it is new territory for all of you. Good luck.

Answer 6

I have had alot of cats in my day, at one point, owning 7 at one time, so I have seen this, oh yes...

OK, judging from what you are saying, it is plain and simple jealousy.

The cat is jealous of the new person in your life. Once the cat begins to realize you will still love her too and that nothing bad will happen, then the cat will settle down.
It may take a little while, just be patient.

If the cat feels threatened of lack of attention etc, then it will spark this kind of behaviour.

Pet the cat, talk to the cat, play with the cat.

CATS HATE CHANGE. but they do get used to it.

Ask your wife to talk to the cat. Once the cat realizes she is no threat, things will get better.

It just takes a bit of time. Maybe you could have one old chair somewhere for the cat? I mean if she was used to freedom and suddenly there are all these new rules, and if she is getting punished or yelled at for things she used to do all the time before, the cat can get confused, and then resentful.

I think if you give it a bit of time, your cat will warm up to your wife. I think after a bit of time when your wife realizes that cats sleep most of their lives away, she just might warm up to the cat too.

(by side note, this sort of thing happened to my parents, except it was my dad who was the cat hater. Well, now he takes the cat to bed and she sleeps between their pillows,(the cat, not my mom) LOL...time heals everything...just be patient...)

PS. And don`t listen to all the gloom doom talk of divorce that people are putting up in the answers.

I think things will improve GREATLY once you guys have a house and are out of the closed quarters.

Answer 7

I think this should have been discussed before you got married. She obviously did not have the courage to make the demand before you married her. Now that you have the contract, her behavior is different.

Reason with her. I bet the cat really likes her and is trying to make friends with her. My cat one time knocked over an original sculpture. I was upset, but not at the cat. Why is she putting you in such a spot. I think she should be more reasonable.

Answer 8

Your wife must have known the cat was staying when she moved in. Having just gotten over a VERY difficult start with our new kitty, I know what a difference it makes to CHOOSE to love, or in your wife's case, even LIKE a pet. Obviously the cat knows who loves it. If your wife knows how much you care for your kitty, she can make an attitude change. I'm not saying she'll love the cat, but if she can be kind to it, consistently, the behavior will change. Cats are smart, and they'll respond to how they're treated. My husband changed his attitude toward our cat, and now she'll snuggle with him - a few months ago, she'd fight to get away.

Answer 9

I LOVE cats!!!!!!! Maby it is your wife that was mean to the cat at first. Your cat is just getting back or is just trying to get confortable in it's own home. That would be mean to get rid of the cat. I suggest listening to your cat because there must be a reason why your cat doesn't like your wife and could be a good reason. Your wife could be really mean to the cat while your not around even, you never know. =/

Answer 10

I am so sorry for your cat! She was there first. She loves you and now you are going to have to get rid of her. You should have made sure your wife would love your cat before you hooked up with her.

Your wife sounds like a real B####. A person who can not love pets, cats or dogs, has a cold heart and is probably totally self centered. ! Bet you are separated or divorced inside of two years. And your poor cat will have been tossed aside for no reason!