I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years over the summer. I told myself I wouldn't get into a serious relationship. However, I met this guy in October and felt an immediate connection. We only see each other 1-2 times per week. We agreed to take things slow, but I can't get him out of my head. My friends and family are concerned because I'm 21 and he's 32. Should I go for it???
2006-12-04 14:19:26 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go for it. I met my boyfriend when I was 23 and he was just about to turn 30. Long story short, we fell in love, he bought us a house to live in, and we are talking about marriage. (It has been a year and a half now)
I think men in their late 20's and early 30's are on the same maturity level as women in their early to mid 20's. Plus, they are more ready to commit, start a family, etc. They are more likely to have steady jobs and are more able to provide stability.
I heart my older man.
2006-12-04 14:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by honk2goose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been with the same guy since you were 17. Now guy #2 is 12 years older than you... I dont blame your friends and family.
Please dont take this the wrong way. You're a kid. He's a man. While all your loved ones are worried, his buddies are highfiving and shouting 'SCORE!'.
I hope he treats you well, at his age (I am his age) he should be with someone older. I would not consider being with a 21 year old. If I did, I would know what I would want. Serious relationship? Naw. I would just want to play with the 21 year old and when I am done.. back to the big boys.
Think carefully, and decide whats best for you.
2006-12-04 22:25:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why not??, I have been attracted to 30 year olds since I was 15! I know it sounds crazy and a little perverse, but to ea. his own! Now that I'm much ....older ..I think I know why? Because there men not (boys) but just as playful because there not too old. so-Go FOR IT!!!! and yes your smart to go slow, I went to fast and I may hurt him in the end, hope not?? It's just that I really wasn't ready to get serious so quickly, so do be careful! Age does play a part in things, if your not ready to take on what the other has to offer!
2006-12-04 22:33:42 · answer #3 · answered by Aces 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you're older, the generation gap really isn't that big of a deal. Yes, he has more "experience" as far as life goes, dear, he had a decade on you. But the same thing goes, it may be better for your relationship. He's probably alot more grounded than you, and that may help along your "connection." You're taking it slow as it is. Let those concerned know it's not like you're diving in without checking how deep it is.
2006-12-04 22:22:10 · answer #4 · answered by Evoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what? I dated an 18 year old when I was 30.
The important thing is how emotionally mature you are. If you aren't ready, don't have enough life experience, you are likely going to screw it up. I can almost guarantee it. Everybody screws up with their relationships when they are young. That's why the age difference is such a big deal. He's already learned from his mistakes. You haven't.
People used to marry at much younger ages. Men would be older too. A 16 year old girl would marry a 30 year old guy. The difference between then and now is back then relationships (especially marriages) were not nearly as disposable as they are today.
If you want your relationship to last, you better learn quick. Read this: Love and Respect
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs/dp/1591451876
And listen to this:
Song of Solomon
http://www.tommynelsononline.com/ProductList.asp?ProductCategory=16&Cat=1
and watch this:
http://www.tommynelsononline.com/sol_conferences_video.asp
2006-12-04 22:21:38 · answer #5 · answered by SmartAlex 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, that is tough. Ask yourself what you really want. If you want some adventure and not be serious, then take it slow and see what happens. If you are serious, then examine where you both are in life. I think it would not hurt to try and maybe in a few weeks or a month or two you will have more clarity then you have now.
2006-12-04 22:23:58 · answer #6 · answered by Bucky for Prez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing to stop you. He is only 11 years older. Age does not matter. What matters is that he loves you and importantly, he must be mature and experience.
There are much older man then 32, and yet they do not pose any problem. Go for it
Good luck
2006-12-04 22:24:43 · answer #7 · answered by sonisunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you take it VERY slow. Pay attention to anything that seems odd. Don't ignore your gut.
Older men aren't necessarily a bad thing. I'm 28 and my BF is 45. He's the most amazing man I've ever known.
2006-12-04 22:22:04 · answer #8 · answered by dancing_in_the_hail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time to get over your ex. You were with him a long time and right now your emotionally vulnerable, just date around and enjoy being single. If after a while you still have the same feelings towards this guy then go for it.
2006-12-04 22:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age shouldn't really be a big deal in a relationship - unless you make it one. My husband and I are 9 years apart (me being the older one) and we have no problems at all. You two are adults and what you do is your own business - as long as you aren't hurting anyone else - I say go for it and good luck.
2006-12-04 22:25:18 · answer #10 · answered by FunBetty! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋