I feel Like the meanest big Brother EVER!!..Should I?

Question

My sister 18 year old sister was living with me and my wife and kids..And,She is a Herroine and Crystal meth addict I told her she could only live here if she wasnt doing drugs but she did them behind my back..Even though I was worried about her I kicked her out Because I didnt want my kids around her & I didnt want to be an enabler..Now I feel like the worst big brother ever..I dont know if she is safe or warm because it is so cold outside..Should I feel bad?...Should I go look for her?

We have put her in rehab but she wouldnt complete it,and she was hanging out with the same losers again and continues to use.My parents kicked her out and she came running to me.

Answer 1

You are not a bad big brother. I am a parent and grandmother now and when I was younger 17 I was into alcohol and drugs and guess what my parents even though they were seperated (I would run between them) kicked me out on my sorry butt. It was not their fault I took that path and they did not want me being around other family members with those habits. Yes I cleaned up my act but it was only when I decided too and the doors were all closed to me accept rehab. and that had to be my choice and it was cold outside in northern Canada as well. Now I am a grandmother who just had to ask our daughter who has two small children to leave, and leave the children with us because of her habits and the affects on us and her children were not positive. She is not into drugs but into drinking when she can and she is only 20 who wants to sleep all day, which you can't do when you have children. Does it make me a bad mother or grandmother NO, I love them dearly and somewhere she will find her way because I know she was given a good foundation in life. Our other children are not welcome in our home at this time do to one doing drugs and we won't have it around our grandchildren and the other has no respect for others or himself. So my belief is one day our children will realize ther errors of their ways and maybe some on our part, but NO it does not make us or YOU a bad person. You are showing her love, it is tough but the end results will be worth waiting for. Hang in there and stay close to your family.

Answer 2

You did the right thing, it's your job now to protect your family. Your sister has made the choice to behave in a manor that you don't (and shouldn't ) approve of. You told her that she was not to use while in your home and she did not respect your rules. The best thing you could have done is to remove her from your home. One would think that this would certainly make her realize she has a severe problem and she would be willing to make the effort to go clean. If she doesn't, there is nothing more you can do for her. If you can help her get into a rehab facility to get her help for her addition and to be sure she's safe then do it. However, she needs to realize she has a problem and be willing to be off drugs before rehab will help her. Good luck to you, I know this must be a very difficult situation for you and your family.

Answer 3

You are not a bad brother. Tough love can sometimes be the best and only answer in a situation like that. I know you were only trying to discourage her from using. You were totally right doing what you did. Your children and wife have to come first and they DO NOT NEED TO BE AROUND THAT! If I were you I would not go look for her just yet. I am willing to bet (from experience with a person I know) that she will come back to you very soon. If you go get her and bring her back to your home, she will interpret that as you giving in to her. She will be right back there using drugs again in your home. Stand tough and hold your ground! Demand that she get help for her problem if she wants to be a part of your life. Maybe you could try that show "Intervention" that comes on TV. Look it up on A&E 's website. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you all have a happy holiday season.

P.S. Your sister is still young enough to have a good life - but that can only happen for her if she is willing to help herself. Dont stop loving her, just be very firm with her. Your kids dont need that influence in their lives.

Answer 4

You are in a tough situation. I have been in something similar with my younger sister. The difference is that I don't have a family to worry about. Your number one priority should be your kids. You did the right thing. You can't have that stuff around your kids. I know you feel bad, but you can't bring her back to your house if she is still getting high behind your back. She obviously doesn't respect you or your family. I don't want to be mean, but it might be true. Addicts care about one thing and that is getting high. She might be a really good person, but not right now. You could go look for her, but don't let her stay with you. Maybe you can find a shelter or a relative's house for her to stay. Whatever you do, just remember that you have to protect your kids and your wife. Good luck.

Answer 5

Ok what you need to do is go look for her bring her home and gave every family member together and all of you need to talk to her and tell her how much you care and how bad it hurts you guys to see her like this, even get the little kids involved. If she is not to far gone down the road she might go back to rehab and kick the habbit if she doesnt call the cops on her get her butt arrested and they will get her in rehab and make her kick the habit. You are not a bad brother you need to watch out for your own kids. What you did was right and your going to feel like crap if you have to get her sent to jail to kick the habit but what your doing is the best for her. Once she get cleaned up and out of jail she will thank you for what you did.

Answer 6

You need to give her help - doesn't have to be in your home though. I would firstly get a plan together - like getting her into a treatment programme or similar and then find her and take her to the programme but make sure she understands that you fully support her and will help her. You can't afford to do this in your home because of your own family but you can still help her and be there for her. It's better you know where she is and she gets help than on the streets on her own where anything could happen. Just do your best - get a plan together and speak to local groups for support and guidance - they will be able to advice you what help is available locally.

Answer 7

you did what you thought was right. You the best thing for your family, it is her fault that she didn't listen to you.You may be the meanest brother to her but think of how you saved your family. You are not a big mean brother in my eyes. Maybe you should see if she is in a homeless shelter but don't take her back in because that might start something that you don't want.

Answer 8

You are not the worst brother ever. Take it from me: she NEEDS a wake up call. Letting her know that using drugs will lose her hospitality with family is the thing she needs. You are very couragous to do such a thing. Besides, you dont want a drug user around your children, do you?

Answer 9

Yes, feel bad, but don't change your mind. You did what you had to do. She is the only one responsible for her life. Unfortunately, it very well could mean her life, but it is out of your hands.

If you have the ability to get her into a treatment program, you could find her and offer her that option. But unless she gets help--and it will take help--she absolutely can't be around you and your family.

Answer 10

You have your Kid to worry about. You gave her a chance , she ruined it. It;s her fault that she is in the situation she is in now. You did what you could do for your sister and also to keep your kid safe. Unfortunatly for her, your child is more imprtant. She made her disicion long ago, knowing the consquences of these actions and knowing how it would ruin her life. You did what you could do to help. You are her sibling and of course you are going to feel horrible about what you had to do, but you had to do it for your wife and child .I would have done the exact same thing you did. Now you have to care fory uor child.