This is just a general question. A friend put it to me that if someone asks you a question and if (1) they have no right to the information or (2) by refusing to answer them you are actually giving them the answer. He says if both are true, then it's OK to lie, to protect the information.
Example 1: Your boss has fired the last 3 people who he thinks might be gay, and then your boss asks you if you are gay. You know if you refuse to answer he will know the answer is yes. And in your state it is legal to fire someone just for being gay.
Example 2: Your father committed suicide, and your family would like that to remain private. But a distant cousin you are hanging out with says they heard a roumor that your dad committed suicide and asks you if it's true. If the answer is really "no" nobody would say "I don't want to talk about it", so if you say "I don't want to talk about it" you know your cousin will find out.
Please don't answer the examples, just talk generally.
2006-12-04 11:12:50 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If I don't think someone is privy to that information, I will just tell them, it's none of their business or yes, lie.
Inappropriate questions do not always deserve truth.
2006-12-04 11:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Kami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would always feel better about myself if I told the truth.. how people deal with the truth is up to them.. nothing should be private - we can learn by others mistakes...
I know you said not to answer the examples...
1 - Would you want to work for a boss who fires people simply because they are gay?? I wouldnt.. and I am straight
2 People can learn alot by disgussing a suicide.. hiding your head in the sand is not the answer
2006-12-04 11:28:09 · answer #2 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Golfer and usually "answer" in that manner when someone is asking an insenstive question or something that shouldn't be their concern. (Look them straight in the eyes and say, "Why do you ask????) You have every right to protect confidential information and you can dilute their question and avoid answering without lying or refusing to answer. I say make them feel foolish by asking in the first place. Another tactic, is to reply that you find it "curious" that they would ask such a question as it really has no relevance to their current situation. Smile sweetly.
2006-12-04 11:42:44 · answer #3 · answered by MyPreshus 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You answer their question with a question, such as...And what good would this information do you? or, That is a pretty personal question, don't you think? or, Why do you ask, do you think it might be catching? or, Hey that reminds me, as long as we're asking personal questions, why did your wife leave you? or, just directly, Who on earth ever told you it was alright to ask questions like that, didn't you have a mother?
Don't beat around the bush, anyone who asks these sorts of questions understands only painfully blunt answers from you. And, I know, just an examply but, ditch the cousin.
2006-12-04 11:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I lie all the time, and I certainly would in both examples. I don't think people have a right to know every damn thing they ask you, just because they're curious.
2006-12-04 11:21:37 · answer #5 · answered by lcraesharbor 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is best to follow your heart and mind on things like this. yes one should lie about a persons suicide. people don't need to know everything about you or your family. saying nothing is not lieing also. telling someone its not there business is what I usually say.If someone is getting to personal.or I just dont wont to talk about it.
2006-12-04 11:18:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best answer is Why do you want to know? state it again and again they will soon get the message that it is not a subject you wish to speak about.
2006-12-04 11:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by golferwhoworks 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋