I love my kids dearly, and wouldn't trade them for the world, but life has become unbearable in my house. I have a 2 and a 4 year old. They don't listen, no matter how many times I repeat myself, time outs don't work- they just do it again as soon as I let them up (actually the 2 year old won't even stay on time out). I've tried spanking but I really hate doing it, as I feel it only teaches them the wrong lesson and it doesn't really work anyways. I feel like they have the control and I know I need to assert myself and take charge but where do I start? Please, I only want serious and understanding responses. Thank you in advance!
2006-12-04 11:02:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I really hate spanking my children too. But I do it. I have 5 children ages 4-18. I have had to spank each probably less than 10x. Timeouts are bullsh**! If you spank your child when you KNOW they know what NO means, they get it real quick. All of my children knew this by 18 mos. They are still wearing a diaper then. They can't even FEEL pain through their pampers. What they get is a stern "NO!", a swat to reinforce it, prompt removal from what they are getting into, or redirected to what they are supposed to be doing. My husband and I used to laugh that you could "spank" them while laughing, "I'm goona get you", paddle, paddle, and they're screaming in delight. Decide with your husband what to do, and do it. They'll fight the change, but that's OK. Even a kid in the middle of a full-blown tantrum is hilarious if you don' react and just sit and watch your poor, little, frustrated human. And for the record, my 3 teenagers are happy, well-adjusted, and love their mom, and the 6 and 4 year olds are so far, so good. They are respectful, and I am respectful to them. Part of the respect I have for them is the respect to discipline them, which I rarely have to do, because I did it when they were little.
2006-12-04 11:17:21 · answer #1 · answered by libby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a mother and I really don't think you should be spanking your kids because your sending them the wrong message insted of teaching them to resolve problems peacefully you are teaching them that spanking and hitting is the solution. Another reason you should not spank them or sternly yell at them is because they will be scared of you, I know this is a bit to early but trust me once in their life they may get a not so nice mark on a test and may be afraid to tell you and plus at school you have no idea what they are teaching the kids these days! I'm a mother of 2 and still these tricks seem to be very affective ok so say you tell them to put away their coats and they say no simply say hey ok if you dont care about your coat I can have it wow what a beutiful coat then take it to your room and obviously they will come running saying THATS MY COAT!!! Then you just simply say well if you can't take care of your things what's the point of having them!! That trick will work with almost anything!! Well I hope I helped you!
2006-12-04 20:30:22 · answer #2 · answered by Alice C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the 2 year old I can understand the getting up from time-out they don't stay in one place. You can always set him on your lap and make him sit for a while and ignore him or you can keep putting him back in time out when he gets up. The key is being consistant with him and let him know you are serious.
For your 4 year old you need to also put him/her in timout and you need to say why are you in timout? Wait for a response and then say I am very angry at you for doing........ I want you to sit here for a while and when I come back I hope I have an apology. Keep doing this but remember to be consistant because if you aren't consistant they will walk all over you and then you have an even bigger mess expecially when your 4 yr old gets in school.
2006-12-04 19:41:51 · answer #3 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing with kids is you have to be consistent and REPETITIVE. They are ONLY two and four, they don't think like adults, don't have the CAPACITY to think like adults their memories aren't fully developed and what you told them five minutes ago was forgoten the moment they heard it. Of course they have the control because YOU gave up. When the little one gets out of time out, walk the child BACK to where time out is. Sometimes you have to do it ten even twenty times, and for sure you will have to do it every single day. You will have to tell them the same things over and over day by day because what you told them yesterday is just that...yesterday, to them it has no bearing on the hear and now. It's not that they don't listen it is that they don't have the capacity to retain the information. The only way you're going to regain control is to be consistent and repetitive, yeah it's a PITA to have to put a kid in time out 100 times when you have "other" things to do, those other things will wait, disciplining your child won't.
2006-12-04 19:12:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in 6th grade so I know exactly how kids act. I and my mom have babysat a 5 year old Named KADEN. Belive me, it ws fun and hard at the same time. Kids under 5 are stubborn but if you keep them in time out a lot longer, they will know not to do it again. If this dosen`t work, take away their FAVORITE toy for a day and this is sure to work!!!!!
Just Before you give the toy back explain why you took it so thy can still understand. Now give it back.
2006-12-04 19:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by R!sa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've raised 4 daughters and never had any problem with discipline, and i think the simplest way to advise you is - watch the Dog Whisperer on national geographic channel. i know it sounds weird, but, the principles are truly the same.
the kids are responding to your body language and your emotions, and what they need is for you to assume an attitude of control, guidance, and teaching them to be safe and happy in the world.
i always share with young parents i know who are having trouble, that it is crucial for your kids to learn to obey without question, so that they will be safe. if there is a car coming right at them, or someone throwing something that is about to cream them in the head, they need to stop when you say stop, get down when you say get down, run when you say run. if you are not being serious and following through with your instruction as their PARENT, then you are failing them and not doing your job.
watch the dog whisperer, it will be fun and i bet you'll be able to change things.
*hugs* and good luck!
2006-12-04 19:16:42 · answer #6 · answered by georgia2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assert your parental authority over them, you're the parent you're the one in charge not they.
The best trick is if they ask for something just keep telling them "No!" they will have to understand that they cannot have everything that they want sooner or later.
2006-12-05 00:39:46 · answer #7 · answered by daryavaush 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are smart, therefore you must have been extremely linient with them in order to take advantage. Instead of putting them on time out or hitting them..get them where it hurts them most..Ex: Takin away there favorite toys or video games. All in all, take away what they most enjoy..and always set Boundries!
2006-12-04 19:07:37 · answer #8 · answered by mrs.hitch1987 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to bury down on them take toys if they dont listin go straight to bed after supper and ground them more chores where the four year old has to listin the two year old just be real firm and make sit in time out and stuff hold him in it or put in room for two miniutes and he will probally cry but that is okayu
2006-12-04 19:06:11 · answer #9 · answered by crystal b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YELL at them.
stop being such a softe.
this is bad.
my mom was like that to my brother because my dad used to be mean to him all the time.
now all he does is take advantage of her trust and stuff.
a TWO year old needs to listen to his mother.
thye're probably gonna be scared as hell, but that way they'll know not to mess with you.
2006-12-04 19:42:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋