I have a problem when I am staring to date a woman
I am worried about STI's and I can't wait to ask the woman to get checked.
It's not that I think she is easy or anything, but the guys she has been with in the past might have been "very active"
I would use protection for iintercourse but my problem is if I want to give her oral sex, I don't feel completely relaxed if I don't know she is clean.
I also know not to rush women into sex but sometimes kissing can lead to things and I hate to give the impresstion she is infected when she comes on to me.
So how can I break it to a women I am starting to date than I want her to get checked for STI's
2006-12-04 10:41:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why don't you ask this woman out for a date, keep to just a date. Then another, build up a little relationship without any intimacy, just try to keep cool about it, then when things start getting a bit hot, just tell the truth. Say you know some of the guys she has dated and be very specific that you aren't getting at her, then suggest, ( if you think it's going to turn into something serious ) that you BOTH go for a std test, just to be on the safe side, Can only go one way or the other then. Good Luck. xx
2006-12-04 10:51:59 · answer #1 · answered by RUTH M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about (1) Relaxing and (2) When it seems like a good moment tell her - before you 'do anything' - you insist on getting yourself checked out at the STI clinic to give her confidence you are a clean living guy...as it is an issue that you feel couples should be really responsible about...This should provoke an intersting conversational opportunity that should lead towards the desired outcome...
You need to be more relaxed - but you are also right to be concerned. This is why it is a good thing to get to know someone and learn a bit about their values and morals before you jump into the sack.
Whilst sex is a pleasant thing it is not the most important aspect of a real relationship - just one piece of the whole. Any morally upright girl should welcome the opportunity to know that she has met someone who has a sense of responsibility in this area. But be prepared to be equally seen as potentially 'suspect' by a clean minded female partner...
(Pork Chop:
STD - Sexually Transmitted Disease
STI - Sexually Transmitted Infection
In my day it was good old VD! But who the he** knows what Venereal means these days!?)
2006-12-04 10:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I asked my bf if he would object to getting himself checked out after we'd been together 6 weeks and he had no problems with it.
I think I phrased it as 'How would you feel about it if I asked you to get yourself checked out for STI's?' and justified it by saying things along the lines of 'in this day in age you can't be too careful and everything'.
Also, for oral you can buy dental dams which are super thin latex sheets that you place between her and you. They transfer heat and sensation pretty much like there is nothing there, but form a protective barrier.
2006-12-04 10:48:57 · answer #3 · answered by Natalie B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just go to her and ask her if she has been checked lately and explain to her you just want to be safe if she says she hasnt been checked in awhile and she doesnt have anything explain to her that symptoms can take awhile to show up. If she cant handle that she is not the one you need to be with. Then it is safe to say to find someone who understands the meaning of how careful they need to be.
2006-12-04 10:50:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her your clean bill of health blood test and ask to see hers. Isn't it strange that you two can easily have sex but are not close enough to talk about these things? I guess a lot of people see sex as simply as a pass time.
2006-12-04 10:47:46 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you stop fretting and get more clued up on std's. they are not that easy to catch if you use the correct protection. i have to say that if i was asked to take a test when the relationship had got that far it would be a positive turn off.
2006-12-04 10:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok can i ask have you always been very careful when it comes to being careful if u know what i mean or mayby she is thinking the same thing by the way he might mean sexually transmitted infections STIs?
2006-12-04 10:48:11 · answer #7 · answered by bernie gz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest....Just say that you will get checked out too. Go together.
Just say that you care about h er health and your own and that your just acting responsibly.She will respect you for that.
2006-12-05 01:02:10 · answer #8 · answered by Lil CeeCee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U dont!
Go and visit a psychiatrist and sort yr weird ideas out
2006-12-04 11:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by rachel d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WTH is an STI? Its STD!
2006-12-04 10:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by chris42050 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋