How do I tell my wife to lose weight?

Question

I'm not attracted to anorexic or obese people, and since our marriage, 8 years, my wife has been gaining weight. she is not obese but she isn't normal or skinny. she is fat. how do I tell my wife to lose weight? I don't want to hurt her feelings, and I also don't enjoy sex with someone that huge.

and i've tried telling her to come to the gym with me but she is lazy.

Answer 1

Why don't you say something like i was thinking of joining a gym. wanna come? or just tell her that she looks great but should slow down a bit cause you heard bad things about being overweight or heavy. Women can be very sensitive about their weight....take it slow but you need to tell her how you feel.

good luck.

Answer 2

Well, sex in marriage counts. Kudos to you for being willing to make an effort. Start with going for a walk around the block with her, take her to the pier, or the park, and walk.....

Diet: eat nutritious meals. Have the salad first at dinner...and then eat a balanced meal. Skip dessert and go for a yougurt or some fruit...Yum....you know what she likes , bring that home.

Buy her some sexy lingerie....even if it is an extra large. Women hate "extra large" lingerie, even if the gesture does give her a thrill. We all want to be a Small. It's very motivating. All the great clothes in the world won't look good if you don't have the bod.

See if she won't do some simple exercises.

Waist twists, bend at the waist, touch your toes, (been awhile)....moving after such a weight gain is Hard.....turn off the TV when you can (weekends) go play racquetball, swim, just don't be sitting.

Remind her of what it was that attracted you...babe, when I met you, you had the sexiest walk....and leave it at that....Be creative and supportive. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to be fat. So, just be there when she does say, "hon, I'd love to go for that walk now..."

Answer 3

That is so mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You married her and made vows and you should love her and be attracted to her. You knew when you married her that this could happen. and if she gave birth to any of your children she might just be proud to have a lil weight on her from that! I mean come on, why such a mean explaination?????


If you're going to say anything....tell her maybe the TWO of YOU should start eating better and excerising TOGETHER!!!! It would NOT hurt You either to eat better and so on. And you wouldnt have to hurt her feelings by being so harsh! I hope you explain better to her then you did for us!

As for the gym, well maybe she might think that there's too amny people there, or she just doesnt know where to start.....Hell ask her why she wont go the gym with you and see what she says! Maybe you could even show her this question???
That you tried to tell her the best possible to say hey....I think you need to lose weight and that you had alil help...maybe this will open her eyes up alil and try!

Answer 4

Sensitive issue. If you think that your wife doesn't already know she needs to lose weight, think again. Suggest that as a team you both start working on improving your health by eating better and getting some exercise. Just a nice walk every evening will help a lot. Don't forget that she probably overlooks something that she doesn't like about you just because she loves you.

Answer 5

First of all, if you and your wife have any children, don't even think about telling her that she is fat...that is, if you value your life! Having kids can do all sorts of crazy things to the body, and sometimes there isn't much to be done about it, or the process is agonizingly slow. Also, if you tell her she is fat, not only will it hurt her terribly, but it could trigger the beginnings of an eating disorder or worse, and that won't help your relationship.

After reading your question, I suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror. Maybe she isn't lazy at all, but avoiding activities with you because of your attitude!

Suck it up, and invest in a bottle of lotion.

Answer 6

Start taking walks with her after dinner. The gym may be intimidating. Since her weight gain isfairly recent, she may also want to be checked out for depression. Depression is not being "stuck sad", but being overwhelmed to the point of being unable to make decisions.

Answer 7

You might just have to tell her straight up, I love you but all this extra weight is making it so I'm not as attracted to you. If I was fat and it was affecting my marriage, I would want my husband to be blunt with me. She may not like it but if she cares she'll lose some weight.

Answer 8

How about since the new year is quickly approaching, suggest a resolution of spending more time together and getting healthy. Maybe you two could take long walks, jog, or join a gym together? Good luck!

Answer 9

First of all ******... you need to check yourself first... I mean, why did you marry her in the first place if you don't except her for who she is.... you can't tell her how to loose weight or whatever... womens have feelings you know.... I mean, it doesn't matter who she is or how she turned out to be, what really matters is the inside of her big heart and the love that she has for you.... if you can't except her for who she is, I rather you, divorce her and find someone else... cause you'll only hurt her.... and I know yo' mamma did not raise you to become like this.... grow up... I bet you anything that you ain't even that good looking anyway... so why trippin' 'bout her weight.... what an idiot...

Answer 10

same way my dad tells my mom to lose weight... he says it in a helpful way like... "so when are you gonna start going to the gym, or coming on walks with me.."
well i dont know perhaps my mom and dad have a more open line of communication, but it comes up all the time and my mom knows my dad is right