My boyfriend of 2 years insists on doing things with his newly married ex-wifes family. The ex-father-in-law always buys tickets to things and now expects my bf to coordinate everything like he is still head of that family. Help? I'm at my wits end with him doing things with them. He also spent a week with all of them at Disney World. I've backed out of the relationship but I do love him but I can't take it anymore. Any suggestions?
2006-12-04 10:20:43 · 19 answers · asked by Luvatlanta 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if he is serious about you then tell him how you feel and if he continues then atleast go with him my thinking is if he wants to be with you then he would take you with him and if they didnt want you to come then he shouldnt either think about how the new husband feels!he probably hates him coming around if she is re married then it should be ok for you to be with your boyfriend when he goes good luck.
2006-12-04 10:29:23 · answer #1 · answered by lovingmychris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That has got to be a nightmare to deal with! Your boyfriend needs to understand that he is in a relationship with you, and that your feelings are very important. It's great that he was able to end things on a good note with the ex-family, but sacrificing your feelings shouldn't be a compromise he's willing to make. As difficult as it may be, he might chose his friendship with them over his relationship with you, but it would be better to know that for sure than to think it and go your separate ways. If the situation were flipped, he might feel differently. There has to be some kind of line drawn.
2006-12-04 18:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by Brit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are children involved (and I assume there is by the Disney comment) There's not alot you can do..
It's good to see his ex's family still include him, it would be alot harder for him if they didn't.
It's also great to hear of ex's getting along after a divorce.
Do they include you also? If not, perhaps you could ask your ex to include you in some of these outings.. Perhaps if you made an effort to get along with his ex's family, you might all be alot happier.
You can't divore family.. Even one you married into.
I broke up with my partnet of 5 years ( we had a son together) I still saw his mother and father quite often. I was still included in x-mas and the holidays.. It's just part of life.
2006-12-04 18:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by evil_nykki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard. I can't believe the new husband puts up with it. And I don't blame you a bit for backing away. Did you tell him how you feel? And are you sure that's what's going on or is he insinuating himself in the family? Yikes, I couldn't take that.
2006-12-04 18:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by blondee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, lay down the law. If he loves you, he'll find a remedy to the situation. You cannot deny that it bugs you, nor should you. So if he can't find a solution to the problem, you're right to back out. You have to talk to him about it and make yourself clear. If he doesn't care, he doesn't love you.
And when you're done, go to http://guineatees.com and buy him an italian christmas donkey tee shirt
2006-12-04 18:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by http://fuelthearmy.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on....when families stay that close it means they love her and want things to work out between them at some point so they can get back together...u r just a burden for them, are in the way of the ex`s reuniting....the same thing is happening to me now, ive decided to move on and the guy was my only real love..how sad:(
2006-12-04 18:25:03 · answer #6 · answered by mery b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've told your boyfriend how you feel and he enjoys the company of his former in-laws anyway, you need to decide if he's the right man for you. You're allowed to love him and decide a relationship with him isn't working for you. If he has kids with his ex- I'd definitely end it.
2006-12-04 18:24:21 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow!!! oh my gosh! i would honestly FLIP OUT!! But, if you want to keep things going i would do it in a sneaky way. I mean, like find out what he is doing with them and then go on ebay and find tickets for his favourite band or something and make him some offer he Cant refuse, like going to see the concert. keep doing that and he will stop seeing them, trust me ino! ok, if that doesnt work try expplaining it to him, but don't make yourself look like a complainer, make it seem like thing will get better. Good luck, hope everything goes the way you want it to.
2006-12-04 18:27:49 · answer #8 · answered by scaaarlet :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what you get when you date a divorced man...lots and lots of extra baggage. Learn to be second fiddle or get out of the game. You took a step in the right direction by stepping out of the relationship.
2006-12-04 18:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a new one. your bf still has feelings somewhere rolling around for someone in that family. i would find it quite odd if my bf wanted to spend time with his ex's family. i take it that she is there when all this is going on too? where is the new hubby in all of this? doesn't sound right. sorry.
2006-12-04 18:24:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋