I'm a white female, and my boyfriend is asian, his family are muslim, he isn't religious, and neither am i or my family.
Nobody will accept us as a couple and people hate us being together. They try to pull us apart.
How can i make them see, we love each other?
2006-12-04 09:25:15 · 14 answers · asked by Freedom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband is white and we've been married six years. I'm not sure how old you are, but what my family thought about my marrying a white man was the last thing on my mind. He loved me, respected me and had all the qualities I wanted in a man, regardless of race. The gift he was to me just came in a different wrapping paper, not the one I was accustomed to.
When you find the person that is right for you, nothing else matters. People who are racially or religiously intolerant are usually afraid or ignorant of what they don't understand. It has very little to do with you two and is more about their insecurities.
Only you know how important their opinions are to you. It's possible that you'll have to take a firm stand. I would approach it as "Joe and I are very happy, and love each other very much. I love you and accept you for who you are. I don't question your choices, and I support your decisions as long as you're happy. I'm asking you to give me that same courtesy. If you can't, then it will be your loss."
You can only be pulled apart if you allow it. If they're able to break you up, they will always have some measure of control over your life.
Do what makes YOU happy; always have control over your life.
2006-12-04 10:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately I understand how you feel. It's rough to go through this sort of thing and when you are around both families it's like walking on egg shells. I'm West Indian and my husband is Black. (African American), we also faced the same issue. He was not religious and my family was / he was christian and I was Hindu. We honestly stuck by each other and endured the comments, the rumors and the insults eventually winning our families over. It's funny how things work out - I had to fight to be with my husband (physically and emotionally) with my father and family and in the end my father and my husband became great friends. I honestly believe by just being together and accepting the fact that they don't accept you will make them see the relationship you have in another light. Stick it out. Don't give up and compromise when it comes to attending religious functions and reunions. Don't let anyone come between you two. I suggest that you each individually speak with your families regarding your love for each other and basically tell them that no matter what; you guys want to be together. Show strength and Show love. It will win them over - Trust me I did !
2006-12-04 17:50:41 · answer #2 · answered by Sasha 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be really hard. No matter what anyone says, it is really hard to go against everyone and everything. I once dated a white guy and I couldn't take it. It takes a very strong person to stand up to all teh critism. You have to be really devoted to each other.
And you can't make anyone see anything. You have to stay strong in your devotion to each other and you will have to find another support network. If your friends and family are being critical and driving you apart, you have to pull together and develop a new network of friends and family.
Also consider will being estranged from his family drive a wedge between you two eventually? this is something to consider also.
Good luck and God Bless you both.
2006-12-04 18:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by Pysees 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change other people opinions but u don't need to tolerate it either just tell both sides to respect you after all my parents have been together for 40 yrs and my dad is White and my mom is Vietnamese people were furious that they are together but to heck with what people say as long as you love each other you should be OK HUGS
2006-12-04 17:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If both of you loved each other so much that the earth and the heaven cant separate you then stay together. Just prove them wrong and over the years they will just accept it.
2006-12-06 01:45:25 · answer #5 · answered by 7kiki6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET MARRIED AND START A FAMILY. After all, if that's what you're planning to do together, it will reinforce the bond you both have and many people will see they're forced to give your honey a chance. Both sides of the families will have to deal with both of you, and perhaps they'll come around. I went through this and believe me, MY wife had BIGGER things about herself than your boyfriend has and MY family accepted her!
2006-12-04 17:51:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i guess it comes down to how much it matters that they care? in the end, it is your life and trust me - if you end up with someone they like and you don't like - they're not going to be the one who is going to wake up next to him everyday. maybe try to put that perspective in their head.
I'm actually in the same boat. my parents are Asian (Chinese/Vietnamese) but sometimes disprove that i tend to be more attracted to men of other ethnic groups (Lebanese)...
have they told you straight to your face that they disapprove or do they just glare allot? if not then talk to them as an intervention together and try to show them where you're coming from.
but i have to tell you, some parents are REALLY old fashioned and you just might have to let this one go and do what makes you happy. it is your life after all.
2006-12-04 17:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by wreckless_angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you don't need to care if they accept it. To heck with them. Just remember, If you marry the guy, you marry the family. There's nothing more fun than spending a day with the in laws constantly giving you veiled insults and being rude. ye haw!
2006-12-04 17:49:50 · answer #8 · answered by redbeansandrice 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dont care, love is all ard. Touch them with ur heart. Perseverance pay off.. never give up!! All the best..
2006-12-05 00:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by Its me! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stay together and eventually some will accept you. it takes time.
2006-12-05 08:23:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋