Why does everyone insist that all of us must have children?

Question

I cannot have children. Most people who know me know this. And yet everyone keeps nagging me about it. Many people among my aquaintance, or within my general vicinity have recently squirted out offspring, and the first thing out of everyone's mouths has been "you're next!". Well, no, I'm not. No uterus. And let's not forget the fact that I'm not married. And yet everyone has recently become more and more insistant that I absolutely MUST have children right away!!!

Let's forget for a momement about the fact that I am physically incapable of procreating. Does it ever cross anyone's mind that some people just don't want children? And that it's actually a bit rude and personal to get in someone's business like that?

Discuss amongst yourselves....

Answer 1

MOST OF MY FRIENDS DON'T HAVE CHILDREN BY CHOICE.I NEVER QUESTION THEM BUT I HAVE EIGHT CHILDREN WHICH ARE WELL LOOKED AFTER AND ALL GOT SAME DAD AND YES MARRIED .THE REASON I SAY THIS IS BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T THINK BEFORE THEY ASK ME QUESTIONS .SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST RUDE OR BLOODY NOSY

Answer 2

Not everyone insists that everyone else should have children...

If you are happy with your life without children more power to you...

I am happy with my life and my children (3 of them 4 including hubby) I couldn't imagine my life without them.... As I look in the mirror however I see me and not you so that's ok my life is different from yours and yours is different from mine... We each find our happiness in different places and different ways...

If you want to possibly have children in the future and have ovaries you may consider caching some eggs if you are getting close to 35 (eggs are better when younger) You can always dispose of the eggs if you choose not to have a child later on... You said you have no uterus so caching eggs for possible suragacy is an option... But caching eggs doesnt mean you have decided to definately have a child it means you are buying insurance against the possibility that should you change your mind at a later date and decide you want one or two you have your young eggs available...

Is it also a possibility that you are reading far more into the situation than is really there... Because you don't want children every comment about children is taken very personally no matter how it was intended.... The same thing happens to people with children when people without make commentsw about life being so much better without them.. The comment may not have been directed at anyone it might just be a comment and its taken personally...

The next time someone makes a comment take a step back, look at the comment as just a comment not something directed at you specifically and decide if maybe you are hypersensative to the comments rather than the comments being intentionally hurtful... If the comment is directed to you smile and say "No I love my life the way it is and I don't thhink I personally want any children but I am very happy you have found such fulfillment in having yours." Then tacctfully change the subject...

You will also have to realize people amongst your aquaintances and general vicinity who have had children will not likely stay close for long as thier lives are moving in a far different direction than yours and your mutual interests will likely not be there for much longer... As thier lives become more intwined with childrens activities and family interests and yours does not... You will find yourself gravitating toward other single people without children because they are the ones you share common interests with while people with children gravitate toward others with children because of common interests...

Relax and enjoy your life without children if that's what you are choosing stop taking every comment as a personal slap and gravitate toward the group you share common interests with...

Answer 3

I think bearing children is seen as being socially responsible... Some people don't understand that it is not always right for others, and many people don't understand how someone could not "want to have that kind of love" to share. I think it's all bull... You should do what is right for you, no matter what anyone says (I understand you don't have a choice, but overall...). I think the "socially responsible" thing to do would be to NOT have children, or at least limit the amount of children you have to 2 or less... it would solve our problem with over-crowded populations, thereby helping to create more jobs, reduce rent and property taxes, crime, urbanization, etc.etc.etc.
Unfortunately, don't expect to see a change in people asking you questions... My stepmom hs never had children and is still, at age 45, asked why not and when she's going to. You could always burst into either tears or a temper tantrum everytime someone asks to prevent further questions... ;)

Answer 4

Not everyone feels the need to tell other people that they should have children. I have two sisters who plan on not having children, who like you are not married and I would never tell them to have children. Having children, or not having children as the case may be is a very personal decision and not one that should be open to random comments by various people who seek to influence others. Good luck.

Answer 5

Some people who have taken on the responsibility to try to carry on into the next generation of the world by having socially responsible children who will contribute to society think that everyone should do the same.

Some think that kids are the greatest and don't want others to miss out; others want you to share their misery.

I don't know who "everyone" is but I think that you can put them off by simply saying "I would if I could, but regrettably I cannot." It doesn't matter how you feel about kids.

Answer 6

I don't think anyone should HAVE to have kids, that is a personal choice. And no one has any right to insist that you have kids. Try not to take offense, I know it is irritating but I doubt they are saying it to be mean. I am pregnant, but I cannot have another one because there is something wrong with my uterus and it kills me. We really wanted another one. And it DOES hurt when people ask when the next one is on the way.

Answer 7

That's because besides their own lives, people think they should live yours too! As if they have all the time in the world to! No one on this planet is higher than you or better than you, even if they think they are! I'd just turn the other cheek and walk away, or in other circumstances, tell them to shut up and kick them with high heels on, lol!! Either way, they should leave you alone afterwards!

Answer 8

I don't necessarily think people make comments like that to be rude or annoying. I think they just make the assumption that women dream of getting married and having kids. It's just what alot of people do and so it's easy to stereotype everyone as having that same plan.