Woman only! Should I leave?

Question

I care about my girl a lot. Been dating for 6 mounths. She has baby by her 1st. They lived together & everything. They have been broken up 4 2 year but I can tell she still had feelins 4 him earlier this year. She said he brought down her self esteem and that I bring it up. The last dude she was with before felt theartin buy him. She tells me the last dude she didn't even like, I know he must have been the rebound guy since she said he wasn't attractive and he was bad in bed & how she tells me old storys I can see she used him to make her baby's father jealous. Enters me, she invited me to the babys b-day party I didn't go I felt uncofortable(kid dad & his family). but the next night asleep she roles over and says "I'm sorry for fallin asleep at the party" WHAT! Its 3 months later.I get mixed signs. She reserve When I ask ?'s about them.(she hiden somthin)(gets defensive, me calm)(I want to understand her)Am I the void filler? She goes the xtra mile 4 me! Mind say leave, heart say stay

Answer 1

First of all how old are you, the girl, the child's father and the child. If she's jumped from her child's father to two other guys within a short amount of time, that's a sign right there. She's not giving herself time to heal and get over her child's father. Her telling you that her last boy was, what was the real need to tell you what he looked like, how he was in bed and other stories about him. Listen do you honestly think she's going to tell you anything positive about him? No! He's not around and perhaps he left her so now she's upset about him leaving her. Most females know there's no man out there that wants to hear his girl tell him that my last man rocked my world. He made my back arch and toes curl. When she invited you to the child's birthday party in the back her mind she was praying that you declined the invite. If she's rolling over in the bed with you talking in her sleep about falling asleep at the party, you need to step back. If it's her child's party why is she sleep? If she can't won't don't and down out right refuses to answer questions regarding her relationship with her child's father you already know the answer. Why be defensive if nothing is going on. She should be wanting to make you feel comfortable about her having a pleasant relationship with her child's father for the sake of the child. Listen, not only was the last man a rebound guy so are you. Her going the extra mile for you, have you ever thought that maybe she's just using you for the things that she can't and doesn't get from her child's father. Yes, you're a filler for her void. Let her go this has no positive outcome for you.

Answer 2

First of all I don't understand the details surrounding the "I'm sorry for falling asleep at the party" and you're "WHAT!" response.

Otherwise I'd take it as a good sign that she invited you to her child's birthday party. As a single mother I never introduce guys I'm dating to my daughter unless I'm serious about them. Ecspecially for things like birthday parties or holidays.

She might not want to talk about her past relationship with her child's father because it was either a hard time and she doesn't want to remember, or she's just trying to move on with you. Is this the first single mother you've dated? If so, you might just be harboring some insecurities because of the generalized bond most people imagine exists inbetween the parents of a child. Granted sometimes it's there, but other times it far from it, I can tell you that from personal experience.

Good luck in your decision.

Answer 3

Simply tell her that you need answers to those questions or you can't trust her, and if you can't trust her, then you and her have nothing, so the choice is hers. I sincerely advise a long sit down with her and really get everything out on the table. You need your answers before you and her go any further in your life and future together. Right now, the way you are living, is no life for anyone to live........... Blessed be, I hope all works out for you soon.

Answer 4

Look, your obviously young, do you Really want all this Baggage? Another man's child, a girl that is confused, and confusing. God, what kind of a mother is she. Take a wide swing of this one, and Move On... there are better fish in the sea. Start your Own family, you don't need to raise another man's child, especially one who's grand parents are in the child's life. Take my advice and move on, and keep this relationship as an experience and Don't do it Again. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

Answer 5

a bit hard to understand some of your question.

communicate as much as you can with her. If she is putting up walls and being defensive and not answering your questions, well, I could not live with that. I would proabably leave.

That is, unless I cared so much that I wanted to really work on the issue and see if she will change, if she has the desire to open up and be present in the relationship.

but if she can't. I would move on.

It depends what you can live with.
It's different for everyone

good luck
also, she may have been affected by her ex if he was horrible to her. in which case it's natural that she is secretive to some degree. she will need to learn to TRUST you, and that may take time. It'll be worth it if she can, but if she can't, well i wouldn't want to be with someone who can't trust and love me, the way that I want.

Answer 6

Sounds like she is not over the ex, I would play cool and see if she does anything. If the signs are there that she is gone back to him, I would say move on, and with her living with him yet, I would give a definite move on. There are a lot better ladies out there that would love to have someone who is faithful to just them, and don't play the field. If your girlfriend was trying to get you jealous, she went about it the wrong way.

Answer 7

this isn't meant to be unkind, yet curiously you need to be very youthful or were harm contained in the previous. i'm sorry you sense the way you do. i'm a lady and that i opt for to understand why do you keep asking diverse questions that are huge unfavourable assumptions about adult men. it truly is the 4th question i have replied and the answer is stll "no longer all adult men attempt this" you've requested why do all preachers cheat, spoke of with the aid of "why do adult men anticipate women human beings to stay contained in the kitchen cooking at the same time as adult men get to sit down and eat?" Now you ask, "why adult men consistently split with their women human beings?" absolutely it truly is an similar question, purely phrased in a distinct way.

Answer 8

what ever is going on you ned to talk about it, with out talking you will never know... have the courage to list down the things you need to ask her... and have a quiet night with no kids about to just talk it out. dont be judgemental, and let her have her say, and if she asks anything of you be upfront too...

what happened in her life and your life before you met is null and void in this relationship now... its the two of you who are togehter, not you and her ex...

of cousre she still has feelings for the babys father, its natureal and normal but it doesnt mean she want to be with him... shes with you and that already says a lot?

talk it out but is sounds likes its more of your own insecurities than anything else

good luck

Answer 9

Why would you want to be with a woman who you know has used guys in the past to make someone jealous? For all you know she is doing the same thing. She sounds like a trick.

Answer 10

having a baby from a previous relationship gives her automaticly a lot of bagage to bring to anynew relationship.
Does the baby live with you and her, are you willing to be a good father to this child, these are issues you need to think of very carefully my friend.