How should I respond to a guy that I went out with and then he didn't call me for over 2 weeks after we hooked up. He lives out of state. I understand that he hasn't been back in my state since we last hooked up, but I think he could have called or emailed me in the interim. Now, he's coming to me with an excuse for not calling. In my heart, I think he's lying, but on it's face the excuse is good (if it were true). Clearly, I think he's treating me as a long distance booty call, which I'm not interested in being. So, I guess I'm asking how best to relay the message that he can no longer call me. I want to do it nicely as we have many friends in common and I will likely run into him many times and don't want things to be awkward. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
2006-12-04 07:39:24 · 30 answers · asked by ca belle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think he has a girlfriend somewhere. Do you want leave it alone and consider it a one night only affair? I wouldn't say anything I would just not give him anymore personal time and he'll get the idea and if he wants pursue you more he will make time to talk and see you more often.
2006-12-04 07:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by miss tique 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sex with him was not the best idea if you were not in a relationship. That is why he didn't call you, he doesn't respect you enough to think you're worth a call or an email. But, if he's back in town he is certainly not going to pass up the opportunity to do it again. This doesn't mean he doesn't like you ..he probably does otherwise he wouldn't be giving you the bootie call. The thing is though that he likes you for all the wrong reasons.
If you really don't like him..then just flat out tell him you're not interested if he makes an advance, if you don't want to do this - be aloof..act normal but reject any advances in a mild manner..'Gosh, I have to babysit grandma that night' works..make yourself unavailable..but not insistently so..do it in a friendly manner so not to blantantly step on his pride. If he should call, be unavailable...have someone take a message..if you answer the phone..tell him you were just rushing out the door..but don't insinuate that it would be acceptable for him to call back. He will get the hint after a while. Men take hints much better than girls do.
Whatever you do..DON'T have sex with him again...
2006-12-04 15:58:24 · answer #2 · answered by KED 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first of all you are just a booty call, sorry but I have to be honest. There's nothing to say in this situation. Why do you feel the need to tell him not to call you anymore, he's not calling you now. Just don't answer when he calls. I know it's hard but in order for you to heal from this, you have to make the next move. Keep the ball in your court. DON'T TALK TO HIM.
P.S. there is NO excuse good enough, he did what he wanted to do. BE STRONG!!!!
2006-12-04 15:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by Stokleyfan4life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont respond. Then if he contacts you again say something like work has gotten really busy and you dont have much alone time anymore. Since he is only looking at this as a booty call this should be enough to get rid of him.
2006-12-04 15:47:48 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the booty call was nice but you need more than an occasional booty call. Just make sure you act like an relationship with him isn't the most important thing in your life. Don't seem desperate. but don't seem like a cold heartless B either. Just tell him unless he can make an comminment of being with you and in the same state...it ain't going to work.
Good luck!
2006-12-04 15:44:14 · answer #5 · answered by serephinadragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can soon find out the "answer" to your question, in Person, Let the "jerk" come over, listen to the story again, it sounds a lot to me like that song "that's my story and I'm sticking to it", remember? Anyway, let him come over, but don't give any part of yourself, You'll soon know if all he wants is a "booty" call, and You will definitely know what to do. Good Luck and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-04 15:44:49 · answer #6 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that he is lying, most likely he is. You appear to be very realistic about this hookup. You maturity shines through your question.
I would simply say that you "have plans" the next time he calls to ask you out. Since you don't want to even have him call you, the next time he does, tell him that you were just leaving and can't talk. Say that you'll call him back and don't. You don't owe him any explanation whatsoever.
2006-12-04 15:45:27 · answer #7 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, that's a hard one. I think you need to be talking to the people with the highest moral standards you know and building yours up. When you feel ready, tell him that you refuse to be a "booty call" and that it's just plain wrong! If some of these "friends" you share can't accept your reason for breaking things of with him (because it's un-ethical) than they too lack morals and shouldn't be people you associate with anyway!
2006-12-04 15:44:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure he is not telling the truth about why he didn't call? If you are sure then just let him know that he made you feel like a booty call and you won't stand for that. See what he says about it. If you still think he is not being honest then just let him know that you are done playing his game.
2006-12-04 15:42:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont a guy who reeally liked the time he shared with you hours before would have called you. and made an effort to see you again.even if he lived across seas. face it he was in town and just wanted to have some fun. do you whant to be a booty call every time hes in town. if you dont think its like that then make up a story about seeing anouther guy. see what his reaction is. make sure you let him know that its just cassual though. hopefully he will let you know what he really thinks
2006-12-04 15:44:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋